Well, it’s been one full year since Donald Trump shocked the world by defeating Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election.
Depending on where you fall on the political spectrum, you either look back on the victory as a tragedy from which the nation may never fully recover, or as the night you reveled at the sight of all those cucks melting into weeping snowflake puddles.
Either way, it signaled the start of what was inarguably an eventful year:
Construction began on the 1,900-mile border wall between the US and Mexico; Obamacare was repealed and replaced with a more equitable alternative; ISIS was defeated in a mere 30 days; the opioid crisis was resolved; coal mines popped up all over the country; and, of course, Hillary Clinton was condemned to a life sentence in a hard labor camp where all shades of pantsuit are strictly prohibited.
No, we haven’t been bought out by the Kremlin–that was merely an attempt at humor.
(Feel free to scroll down to the comments section to tell us how painfully unfunny it was!)
But despite all the campaign promises left unfulfilled and the ever-tightening noose of special counsel Robert Mueller’s criminal investigation, there is one achievement of which Trump and his supporters remain unabashedly proud:
We’re talking, of course, about losing the popular vote.
Or, as the #MAGA set might phrase it: seizing a bigly victory despite historic opposition from the Soros-funded Deep State and the #FakeNews lame-stream media.
(And hey, if you belong to that crowd, congrats on making it this deep into the article without being triggered into a seizure state!)
Trump tweeted the above photo last night to celebrate the first anniversary of his election to the White House.
At first, we thought the pic was taken moments after the president learned of a new method for turning poor people into fossil fuels, but Trump explained otherwise in his caption:
“Congratulations to all of the ‘DEPLORABLES’ and the millions of people who gave us a MASSIVE (304-227) Electoral College landslide victory!”
To be fair, winning a national election is a pretty damn big accomplishment.
But when you’ve been President of the United States of America for the past ten months, running a successful campaign shouldn’t still be your biggest achievement.
Obviously, everyone in the photo got roasted to a crisp on Twitter, but we won’t indulge in that sort of pettiness here.
We won’t point out the uncanny resemblance between Stephen Miller and the dude that had Voldemort living in the back of his head in the first Harry Potter.
Nor will we point out that there’s a 100 percent chance Hope Hicks burned that sweater and enjoyed a nice Clorox and Brillo pad bath after being forced to stand so close to Miller’s sweaty hover hand.
And we certainly won’t point out that Little Lord Jared should probably get used to standing in line-ups and spending time in close proximity with sex offenders.
No, we’ll take the high road and simply wish Mr. Trump a happy anniversary.
We hope you’re not tired of winning yet, sir.
After all, you most likely have a criminal trial ahead of you, and you’re gonna want to bring your A-game for that.
