Saturday, March 17, 2018

Kim Kardashian Has the Kraziest Klause in Her Will

Image is everything.


So tennis great Andre Agassi used to tell television viewers in commercials for Canon cameras.


But this is a tagline that could easily be adopted by Kim Kardashian, someone who has dedicated most of her public persona to looking her absolute best at all times.



This has been the case for nearly all of Kim’s life in the spotlight…


… and it will apparently be the case when Kim is close to the end of her life.


Allow us to explain:


In a video she recorded with ELLE Magazine this week, the former sex tape actress explains to fans that she has inserted an unusual clause into her will.


It doesn’t have to do with where her possessions go after Kim dies, but ratehr how her hair and makeup are done while she’s still alive.


Says Kardashian in the footage:


“I made a section [in my will] that if I am so out of it that I can’t even communicate – and I am like shitting on myself – I definitely need my hair, my nails and my makeup done.”


We’re pretty sure she was being serious.



In one sense, this is perfectly logical.


Of course someone who even gets all dolled up while topless and eating noodles would want to maintain her appearance at all times, despite her health.


In another sense, however, this is pretty sad.


Poor Kim thinks so much about how fans view her, and has so much stock in her outer beauty, that she can’t imagine a day when she simply doesn’t care.


She can’t imagine still being able to draw a breath without considering whether her nail color matches her eye shadow.


Really, that’s no way to live, is it?



In the aforementioned ELLE video, the 37-year old mother of three reads and confirms headlines from various publications prior to addressing the grooming clause in her last will and testament.


“I want to look as good as possible,” she says simply, adding that nothing will stop her from posting “racy photos.”


And, hey, look, we’re all for Kim Kardashian nude photos.


Keep ‘em coming, K-Squared!


The point here is not that we want to see Kardashian wearing many layers of clothing in her social media photos.



The point is simply that one should never be this concerned with one’s image.


Agassi made the motto we cited above famous early on in his career, back when he wore neon colors on the court and had long, shaggy, sexy hair.


Eventually, however, he grew up and matured and focused on tennis above all else, enjoying a second act to his career that included many Grand Slam titles and universal respect.


He stopped caring about how he came across to others and cared only about succeeding in his job and satisfying those close to him with his play and his attitude.


Will Kim ever reach the same level of maturity and perspective?


That, dear readers, is the question.



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