Love is officially dead.
We are most definitely living in the darkest timeline.
Everything will believed to be right has turned out to be so very very wrong.
Yes, we said and thought all these things when Donald Trump was elected President.
But we’re now saying and thinking them because Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan have announced they are ending their marriage.
Yes, that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, the same couple who once said they have amazing primal sex and whose tribute to each other on the occasion of an anniversary in 2016 made us laugh and cry.
What the heck could have happened?!
We don’t know just yet.
But the actor and actress, who met on the set of iconic dance movie Step Up over a decade ago, released a joint statement on Monday night that reads as follows:
“Hey world! So… We have something we would like to share.
“First off, it feels odd that we have to share this kind of thing with everyone, but it’s a consequence of the lives we’ve chosen to lead, which we also happen to be deeply grateful for.
“We’re living in an incredible moment in time, but it’s also a time where truth can easily get distorted into ‘alternative facts.’
“So we want to share the truth so you know that if you didn’t read it here then it’s most certainly fiction.”
Indeed, this is undoubtedly the most cheerful break-up announcement in recent memory.
The Twitter message continues/concludes as follows:
We have lovingly chosen to separate as a couple. We fell deeply in love so many years ago and have had a magical journey together.
Absolutely nothing has changed about how much we love one another, but love is a beautiful adventure that is taking us on different paths for now.
There are no secrets nor salacious events at the root of our decision – just two best-friends realizing it’s time to take some space and help each other live the most joyous, fulfilled lives as possible.
We are still a family and will always be loving dedicated parents to Everly. We won’t be commenting beyond this, and we thank you all in advance for respecting our family’s privacy.
Sending lots of love to everyone.
Wow, right?!?!?
The stars are each 37 years old and share a daughter; she turns five in May.
They got married in 2009 and talk did start to circulate late last year that there may be trouble in attractive paradise after Dewan attended the American Music Awards solo.
But still.
Channing had previously scoffed at rumors of marital strife.
“It’s all bullsh-t,” Tatum previously The Hollywood Reporter, adding:
“These people just [make it up]. Some of our family members don’t see [it’s not true], and they read a stupid thing and don’t understand it’s a tabloid.”
Well, this time it is not a tabloid.
This time we have heard the news straight from Tatum’s gorgeous mouth itself.
We’re stunned. We’re shook. Our true love confidence level is at an all-time low.
At the very least, we’ll always have Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, right?
Wait…. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Back in February, Dewan did scoff at the notion that her relationship was totally perfect.
But she sounded very normal and grounded in explaining what the romance was like, telling Health magazine:
“I think there are such things as great fits. It is a great fit as long as you are growing together, and I think up until this point we’ve really grown together.
“Even if one starts to grow, the other catches up and vice versa. But I think a couple needs to be conscious and to want to do the work and be willing to look at the parts of you that need work.
“Both of us have been pretty aware and willing to do that. We’ve always had the same values. But we’re not perfect! Are you kidding?
“We fight like other couples, we disagree about things, we have days where we don’t really like each other.”
Oh well.
We wish each half of this former union nothing but the best.
We have a feeling neither will have trouble finding a new lover.