Dane Cook Jokes About Gross, Potentially Illegal Relationship with 19-Year Old

It’s not exactly groundbreaking news to state that Dane Cook isn’t funny.

Typically, however, our response to his terrible jokes is to roll our eyes or shake our heads.

When it comes to Cook making quips about his relationship with Kelsi Taylor, though, we need to be restrained from calling the police.

Cook, you see, if 46 yeas old.

Taylor is 19 years old.

The pair went public with their inappropriate relationship in January, at which time Cook referred to Taylor as a “gift.”

This week, meanwhile, in an Instagram Q&A with fans (We know, right? Who knew that Dane Cook had any fans?!?), the so-called comedian responded to a number of inquiries about his unusual romance.

How did they meet, for example?

“At a game night I host at my place,” Cook replied. “We were friends for a while and soon after fell in like with each (other) and then upgraded to love.”

So… they were friends for awhile?

And they actually started dating when Taylor was 18?

Which means Cook was in his early 40s and isn’t just sleeping with a teenager, but he’s sleeping with a teenager who he knew since she was maybe a sophomore in high school?

That is disgusting, borderline illegal and most definitely not a subject to joke about.

But Dane Cook has never met a bad joke he didn’t tell, so he continued…

What advice can Cook give to others in a relationship that involves a large age difference?

“The only thing you have to do is plan that your deaths will be somewhat far apart,” he wrote back.

Do their families approve of the relationship?

“I love her family and we are pretty close and go to dinner and hang,” Dane responded, adding:

“My family pretty much all died years ago but @_courtneycook_ my sister likes Kelsi a lot.”

What do they like most about each other?

“Kelsi is smart, kind, creative, loyal & honest. As for me I think Kelsi would say I’m tolerable.”

Back in February, in an Instagram caption, Cook noted that Taylor “is warm hearted, smart, sincere & more than anything else we just click.”

He added at this time:

“I have to say I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time in both my career & personal life.”

Kelsi is an aspiring singer who just released her new album, “Fear of Yourself.”

She has also performed background vocals for Grammy nominees such as Demi Lovato and Little Big Town.

Cook, meanwhile, has dated such stars as Jessica Simpson, Nicole Scherzinger, Julianne Hough and Raquel Houghton.

If Taylor makes him happy, that’s great we guess.

And it is conceivable that two people at these stages of their lives could find true love with one another. Once again… we guess.

But there’s also something sketchy and flat-out gross about a grown man sleeping with a teenager. There just is.

Anyone out there disagree?

ReadMore…

Dane Cook is Psyched to Be Dating a 19-Year Old

Dane Cook has found an effective way to distract folks from the fact that he’s incredibly unfunny:

Date someone not legally old enough to drink alcohol and tell the entire world about it!

The lame comedian is in a relationship with Kelsi Taylor, a 19-year old singer who is less than half his age.

Cook, who is 45 years old, is not breaking any laws by banging the teenager, but he isn’t coming across like a model human being, either.

On Friday, beneath a picture that says “Be a warrior, not a worrier,” the stand-up veteran wrote the following caption:

“The next few months are work hard/play hard ones. I’m grateful to my friends and fans who continue to support my artistic endeavors.

“I can’t get to where I’m going without this foundation of support …. My gf @itskelsitaylor who quite simply is a gift. #bestlaughs.”

Prior to this posting, Cook shared a selfie of the pair (above) and captioned it: “#relationshipgoals.”

Now, look…

Is it every 45-year old’s goal to date a 19-year old hottie?

Probably. It’s at least every 45-year old’s fantasy, we’re guessing.

But most middle-aged men realize how sort of gross and shady this would be in practice, no matter how appealing it may seem in theory.

Just consider: Cook guest-starred on the sitcom Suddenly Susan in 1998, while Taylor had not even been born at that time.

Moreover, one look through the Instagram accounts of each star reveals that they started dating back when Taylor was 18 years old.

There’s a snapshot of Cook helping the artist celebrate her 19th birthday on Taylor’s social media page, along with glimpes of the couple together on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It does actually seem like a serious relationship, for whatever that is worth.

Back in April, Cook shared his first picture of the musician and praised her for her talents, writing:

“My girl @itskelsitaylor is one of my favorite people on the planet. She’s a talented singer but more importantly she’s a genuine person. Check out her music and get to know her. She’s gonna go far!” 

Taylor has appeared in a handful of short films and has also performed background vocals for the likes of Demi Lovato and Little Big Town.

Last July, Cook also gushed over Taylor in a photo of the pair in Hawaii.

“The trip was perfect but what made it unforgettable was my gf. She’s a gift. She’s my best friend. She’s one of a kind,” he wrote at the time.

So maybe this really is more than a fling.

The Employee of the Month star was previously linked to Jessica Simpson, Julianne Hough and Miley Cyrus.

And it bears repeating that he is painfully unfunny.

ReadMore…

Monster Energy Drink Sued for Death of 19-Year Old

Monster Energy Drink killed a teenager … so his father claims in a new lawsuit. Dustin Hood downed 3 1/2, 24-ounce cans of the self-proclaimed buzz drink within a 24-hour period back in 2015.  According to the lawsuit, after drinking the last…

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R. Kelly is Dating a 19-Year Old Because Of Course He Is

Hallie Calhoun, urine trouble, girl…

According to various outlets, this 19-year old is dating R. Kelly.

The relationship would be newsworthy regardless of the singer’s past, considering his age alone: R. Kelly is 49 years old.

But it’s impossible NOT to consider R. Kelly’s past because… holy crap, is it one shady past!

And, holy crap, does it involve some seriously shady stuff with some seriously young women!

First, Vibe magazine reported back in the day (although it was never confirmed) that R. Kelly had illegally married the late singer Aaliyah in 1994 when she was 15 and he was 27.

But then, of course, there was that videotape in 2002.

You know the one, right? The one that depicted R. Kelly urinating on a 13-year old girl?

The singer was arrested for this alleged act and brought to trial on 14 felony sex charges.

However, he was found not guilty.

Police in Florida also tried to pursue other pornography charges against Kelly. But a judge tossed these attempts, saying the evidence was obtained illegally.

So R. Kelly was a free man.

But almost no one out there doesn’t believe the guy is one sick mothereffer.

Which brings us back to him dating a 19-year old.

After Kelly and Calhoun were spotted at an Atlanta nightclub and after the above photo surfaced on Instagram, Twitter users went off on the artist for basically being a disgusting dirtbag.

“R. Kelly’s albums are older than his girlfriend,” wrote one witty (and accurate!) user, while another added:

“R. Kelly is trending for exactly what you’d think.”

Given the R&B star’s history, another chimed in with the following:

“No one is shocked that R. Kelly’s girlfriend is 19 years old. No one.”

Not exactly the wittiest Tweet of all-time, but it still felt worth mentioning.

“R. Kelly is the Woody Allen of black people,” wrote another critic, while still another couldn’t resist writing:

“49 yr old R. Kelly is dating a 19 yr old. She’s about 5 years older than most girls he dates, so Kelly considers her a cougar.”

We don’t blame you if you aren’t laughing over these jokes.

Shaking one’s head in sadness and fear may be a more appropriate response, really.

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