Dane Cook Jokes About Gross, Potentially Illegal Relationship with 19-Year Old

It’s not exactly groundbreaking news to state that Dane Cook isn’t funny.

Typically, however, our response to his terrible jokes is to roll our eyes or shake our heads.

When it comes to Cook making quips about his relationship with Kelsi Taylor, though, we need to be restrained from calling the police.

Cook, you see, if 46 yeas old.

Taylor is 19 years old.

The pair went public with their inappropriate relationship in January, at which time Cook referred to Taylor as a “gift.”

This week, meanwhile, in an Instagram Q&A with fans (We know, right? Who knew that Dane Cook had any fans?!?), the so-called comedian responded to a number of inquiries about his unusual romance.

How did they meet, for example?

“At a game night I host at my place,” Cook replied. “We were friends for a while and soon after fell in like with each (other) and then upgraded to love.”

So… they were friends for awhile?

And they actually started dating when Taylor was 18?

Which means Cook was in his early 40s and isn’t just sleeping with a teenager, but he’s sleeping with a teenager who he knew since she was maybe a sophomore in high school?

That is disgusting, borderline illegal and most definitely not a subject to joke about.

But Dane Cook has never met a bad joke he didn’t tell, so he continued…

What advice can Cook give to others in a relationship that involves a large age difference?

“The only thing you have to do is plan that your deaths will be somewhat far apart,” he wrote back.

Do their families approve of the relationship?

“I love her family and we are pretty close and go to dinner and hang,” Dane responded, adding:

“My family pretty much all died years ago but @_courtneycook_ my sister likes Kelsi a lot.”

What do they like most about each other?

“Kelsi is smart, kind, creative, loyal & honest. As for me I think Kelsi would say I’m tolerable.”

Back in February, in an Instagram caption, Cook noted that Taylor “is warm hearted, smart, sincere & more than anything else we just click.”

He added at this time:

“I have to say I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time in both my career & personal life.”

Kelsi is an aspiring singer who just released her new album, “Fear of Yourself.”

She has also performed background vocals for Grammy nominees such as Demi Lovato and Little Big Town.

Cook, meanwhile, has dated such stars as Jessica Simpson, Nicole Scherzinger, Julianne Hough and Raquel Houghton.

If Taylor makes him happy, that’s great we guess.

And it is conceivable that two people at these stages of their lives could find true love with one another. Once again… we guess.

But there’s also something sketchy and flat-out gross about a grown man sleeping with a teenager. There just is.

Anyone out there disagree?

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"The Office" Actor Hugh Dane Died from Pancreatic Cancer

Hugh Dane — who played the popular security guard on “The Office” — died from pancreatic cancer … this according to his death certificate. According to the doc — obtained by TMZ — Hugh Anthony Dane died on May 16, 2018 at 10:56 PM at his home…

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Hugh Dane Dies; The Office Actor Was 75

Hugh Dane, a veteran actor best known for portraying a security guard named Hank on The Office, passed away last month.

He was 75 years old.

According to the Los Angeles Inner City Cultural Center, which hosted a celebration of life event in honor of Dane, the actor sadly died on May 16.

As of this writing, the circumstances surrounding his death are unknown.

Dane appeared in such films as Bridesmaids (2011), Little Fockers (2010) and Joy Ride (2001), while most recently having a role on ABC’s The Mayor.

But his death is most notable to television fans who recognize him as Hank, the mostly quiet and hilariously stern security guard on the aforementioned NBC sitcom who didn’t put up with any of Dwight or Michael’s BS.

In the wake of this tragic news, a number of The Office stars have taken to social media in order to express their condolences.

Mindy Kaling, for example, referred to Dane one of the funniest actors “ever,” adding on Twitter:

“I loved writing and acting with him.”

Added Rainn Wilson:

“RIP Hugh Dane, aka Hank the security guard. He was one of the greats. So kind, funny, talented. We will all miss him. Donations can be made in his name to: http://www.innercityculturalcenter.org.”

Steve Carell, meanwhile, kept things short and simple and to the heartbreaking point:

“What a terrific guy.”

Dane had been acting since 1990.

He rose to fame with roles on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Bridesmaids, as mentioned previously, before landing his recurring role on The Office for nearly a decade.

Other TV credits on his resume include The West Wing, Roc and Boy Meets World.

This Saturday, June 9, The Inner City Cultural Center will pay tribute to Dane at the Vision Theater in Los Angeles.

The Inner City Cultural Center is an organization that helps minority creatives foster their talent.

It sounds like Hugh Dane was a really great guy, widely respected and appreciated by all who knew him and all who worked with him.

May he rest in peace.

Below is a look at other celebrities who tragically lost their lives in 2018.

May they all rest in peace.

View Slideshow: Celebrities Who Died in 2018: In Memoriam

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Hugh Dane, aka Hank the Security Guard from "The Office," Dead at 75

Dunder Mifflin fans have lost a member of their TV family — Hugh Dane, who famously played Hank the security guard on “The Office,” has died.  One of Hugh’s costars on the sitcom, Rainn Wilson, tweeted out the news Monday with a link to a…

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Eric Dane Sports New Blonde Hairdo in Wake of Divorce Filing with Rebecca Gayheart

Eric Dane’s might be having a major blonde moment in the wake of him and his wife filing for divorce — that, or he’s just really feeling himself … we’re not sure.  The “Grey’s Anatomy” star was spotted rockin’ a brand new ‘do Tuesday in WeHo…

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Eric Dane Responds to Rebecca Gayheart"s Petition for Divorce

Eric Dane has filed his response to Rebecca Gayheart’s divorce, and it’s a mirror image of his estranged wife’s petition. Dane is on board with Rebecca’s custody and spousal support requests. Gayheart asked in her divorce petition for spousal…

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Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane: The Marriage is Over!

After 14 years, two daughters and at least one well-publicized threesome, Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane have decided to end their marriage.

Or Gayheart has decided to end her marriage, to be more specific.

The actress filed for divorce from her long-time husband on Friday, with Dane confirming the split to People Magazine via the following statement:

“After 14 years together we have decided that ending our marriage is the best decision for our family.

“We will continue our friendship and work as a team to co-parent our two beautiful girls as they are the most important thing in the world to us.

“We kindly ask that you respect our privacy during this time as we navigate the next phase of our lives.”

Gayheart is reportedly seeking spousal support and joint legal and physical custody of their two daughters: seven-year Billie and six-year old Georgia, 6.

She cited irreconcilable differences as the cause of divorce.

Gayheart is best known for movies such as Jawbreaker and Scream 2 and for a role many years ago on Beverly Hills 90210.

Dane rose to television fame as Mark “McSteamy” Sloan on Grey’s Anatomy, prior to being killed off in 2012 and then landing the lead role on TNT’s The Last Ship.

He took a hiatus from the show last spring due to depression and other mental health issues, about six years after he also sought professional help for an addiction to painkillers.

“I took some time off… I was dealing with some depression, which was kind of odd to me,” Dane explained on July 31 as a guest host on the Today Show.

He added at the time:

“I felt very conflicted about it because I didn’t really feel like I had anything to be depressed about…

“Now I take a medication called Pristiq … and the depression is gone … I’m doing OK.”

“It’s a very serious thing,” Dane continued.

“But it’s very real, and that was the scary thing when you wake up and you’re like, ‘I don’t want to get out of bed’ … this just hit me like a truck.

“I had to take some time off, I went away and took care of it and I’m feeling great.”

In 2009, meanwhile, Dane and Gayheart made headlines after a sex tape leaked that featured the couple in some compromising positions with a third party.

The 12-minute footage depicted a great deal of nudity, a lot of giggling and, we can only presume, a lot of drug use.

The other member of the famous threesome was former Miss Teen USA Kari Ann Peniche.

But anyway.

We wish Dane and Gayheart well and hope they work out an amicable resolution for the sake of their kids.

View Slideshow: 19 Most Stunning Splits in Celebrity History

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Rebecca Gayheart Files for Divorce from Eric Dane

Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are getting divorced after 14 years of marriage … TMZ has learned. Rebecca, who starred in “Beverly Hills, 90210” filed legal docs Friday afternoon. Rebecca is asking for spousal support, as well as joint legal and…

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Dane Cook and Girlfriend Show Serious PDA on Hawaiian Beach

Dane Cook is still gettin’ it … canoodling with his hot, 19-year-old girlfriend on the shores of Hawaii. The 45-year-old actor/comic revealed last month he was dating Kelsi Taylor.  She’s in show biz too … trying to make it big as a singer…

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Dane Cook is Psyched to Be Dating a 19-Year Old

Dane Cook has found an effective way to distract folks from the fact that he’s incredibly unfunny:

Date someone not legally old enough to drink alcohol and tell the entire world about it!

The lame comedian is in a relationship with Kelsi Taylor, a 19-year old singer who is less than half his age.

Cook, who is 45 years old, is not breaking any laws by banging the teenager, but he isn’t coming across like a model human being, either.

On Friday, beneath a picture that says “Be a warrior, not a worrier,” the stand-up veteran wrote the following caption:

“The next few months are work hard/play hard ones. I’m grateful to my friends and fans who continue to support my artistic endeavors.

“I can’t get to where I’m going without this foundation of support …. My gf @itskelsitaylor who quite simply is a gift. #bestlaughs.”

Prior to this posting, Cook shared a selfie of the pair (above) and captioned it: “#relationshipgoals.”

Now, look…

Is it every 45-year old’s goal to date a 19-year old hottie?

Probably. It’s at least every 45-year old’s fantasy, we’re guessing.

But most middle-aged men realize how sort of gross and shady this would be in practice, no matter how appealing it may seem in theory.

Just consider: Cook guest-starred on the sitcom Suddenly Susan in 1998, while Taylor had not even been born at that time.

Moreover, one look through the Instagram accounts of each star reveals that they started dating back when Taylor was 18 years old.

There’s a snapshot of Cook helping the artist celebrate her 19th birthday on Taylor’s social media page, along with glimpes of the couple together on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It does actually seem like a serious relationship, for whatever that is worth.

Back in April, Cook shared his first picture of the musician and praised her for her talents, writing:

“My girl @itskelsitaylor is one of my favorite people on the planet. She’s a talented singer but more importantly she’s a genuine person. Check out her music and get to know her. She’s gonna go far!” 

Taylor has appeared in a handful of short films and has also performed background vocals for the likes of Demi Lovato and Little Big Town.

Last July, Cook also gushed over Taylor in a photo of the pair in Hawaii.

“The trip was perfect but what made it unforgettable was my gf. She’s a gift. She’s my best friend. She’s one of a kind,” he wrote at the time.

So maybe this really is more than a fling.

The Employee of the Month star was previously linked to Jessica Simpson, Julianne Hough and Miley Cyrus.

And it bears repeating that he is painfully unfunny.

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Dane Cook Turban-Shames Nick Cannon on Instagram, Apparently Still Exists

Dane Cook has taken serious issue with Nick Cannon’s latest fashion choice.

In related news, Dane Cook is apparently still alive.

Who knew?!?

But the comedian has chosen to make his presence felt once again in a semi-coherent rant against Cannon that comes across as confusing, misguided, mean and unfunny.

In other words: it’s Peak Dane Cook!

On Tuesday night, Cook WENT OFF on Cannon after photos of the America’s Got Talent host surfaced online from his attendance at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

In these images, Cannon was wearing a pink turban on his head.

And Cook… simply… could… not… handle it.

“Last night Nick Cannon wore this sh-t,” Cook began, merely getting warmed up and adding:

“He put this on his head and he looked in a mirror and he walked away from the mirror without saying to himself, ‘Hey self mayyyyyybe I shouldn’t look like Zoltan and wear a f-cking pink turban with one of the infinity stones from Avengers on it.’

He went outside and people didn’t stop him and say ‘Nick Cannon from Americas Best Talents Competition we love you so please remove that from your head please and thank you."”

Maybe they didn’t say this because they know Cannon has a history of wearing turbans.

He does so in order to make a political statment.

But Cook was undeterred. He continued to rant and rave…

“This pic makes me so frustrated that I want to delete it already and I think I will because this makes me want to quit Instagram,” he wrote, teasing us with such a promise.

“Don’t get me wrong Nick is a good guy and he and I go way back but I’m gonna have to call Nick out here and say he Cannon’t wear this f-cking thing again.”

Cook ended his message by trying and failing to make some jokes:

“I just opened my fridge and randomly punched into it in utter disbelief.

“I also just called hammered a nail into my own tire so I could walk into the woods off the side of a rural highway to spit on a birds nest. 

“Ahhhh I’ve been ranting since my Voice of Doom 12 years ago on my website. Follow meeeeeeeee. Hahahaahhaah.”

Shortly after Cook’s tirade went viral, Cannon calmly responded on Twitter and Instagram.

“Yo @DaneCook call me so I can explain this Muthaf***in King Business to you!!” the comedian wrote.

He had some fun adding turban emojis and the hashtags, “#MoorishMindset #SikhLife #ReconditioningOurCommunities.”

Indeed, Cannon has donned a variety of turbans in the past, including to this year’s America’s Got Talent finale and the MTV Video Music Awards.

It’s unclear why Cook chose to speak out about this fashion statement now.

It’s also unclear how Dane Cook still has any fans.

We guess some things will forever remain a mystery.

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This Great Dane Can"t Wait to Be a Big Brother

As we"ve helped make clear over the past several months, Great Danes are great pets for a number of reasons. To wit:

1. They"re stubborn, very clearly aware of which is their favorite toy and unafraid to let their owner know it.


2. They"re loyal, refusing to part with a stuffed animal once they"ve established a close relationship with him or her.


3. They"re really good at helping their owners make exciting baby announcements.

Such is the case in the following video, as an expecting mother and an expecting father found a unique way to drop a precious bombshell on their loved ones.

They sat down their relatives on a sofa and told them to sit back and watch a cute video starring their dog. And that"s exactly what they witnessed at first, as the Great Dane adorable helped cleaned the house.

But then a few words came across the screen and then an ultrasound (!!!!!!) came across the screen and then the news was out there:

The couple is having a baby!

Watch how they present this miraculous piece of information and watch their loved one react with joy now.