Showing posts with label Antonoff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Antonoff. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Lena Dunham Accused of Sending Unsolicited Vadge Pics to Jack Antonoff

It’s been a while since Lena Dunham has done anything to warrant the attention of us slavering hellhounds in the gossip-sphere.


It could have to do with the fact that she’s adopted a more low-key lifestyle these days and turned her attention to, in her words, “pursuing slow meaningful spiritual progress.”




Of course, it’s equally possible that we all simultaneously decided to stop regularly checking her social media accounts for any number of valid reasons.


(Public interest in her personal life has been on the decline ever since Girls ended; she seems to google herself constantly despite being cursed with very thin skin; Lena-related gossip frequently centers around “hard pass” subject matter like vaginas crammed full of pebbles, etc.)


Whatever the case, there’s less Lena in your life these days, and we don’t need a focus group to know that you’re probably okay with that.



But the never-reliable Star magazine decided to dip its toe back in the Lena pond this week, and despite the high probability that this story is total BS (again, Star magazine) we decided it’s amusing enough to share with you.


As you may recall, back in January, Lena and Jack Antonoff broke up after six years of dating.


By all accounts, the split was mutual and amicable, but it seems Lena misses more about the relationship than just quipping “I hope you bought Anton a drink first!” every time someone said her boyfriend’s full name.


An “insider” tells Star that Lena is still hung up on Jack in a big way, and her obsession is beginning to take a toll on his new relationship.



“She calls Jack at least five times a day, all in the name of ‘friendship’ – and she always talks to him right before she goes to bed,” says the anonymous friend.


“She’ll text him photos of her private parts at like 1 a.m. At that point, he just turns the phone off.”


Not surprisingly, the source also claims that Jack’s new girlfriend, Carlotta Kohl, is less than thrilled with the situation.


“Half the time she spent with him, he was on the phone with his ex!” says the tipster of a recent date between Jack and Carlotta.



We figure September is a good time to get around to our New Year’s resolution of trying something new every day, so we’re actually gonna defend Lena instead of making a bunch of easy jokes at her expense.


Here goes nothing:


Lena Dunham is probably not sending unsolicited vadge pics to her ex-boyfriend, and the only way this source could sound more made-up is if it called the situation “steamy,” or used some other word that’s only ever been used by tabloid writers.


Now if you’ll excuse us, this small act of decency has made us feel all out of sorts.


We’re gonna go kick a puppy or vote Republican or something to balance ourselves out.



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Friday, February 23, 2018

Lorde and Jack Antonoff: Dating?!

It’s been about six weeks since Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up, and both parties have remained relatively mum on the cause of their split.


Sure, they’ve made some vague remarks to the press, but we don’t really know what prompted to abruptly end their 


Although we’re starting to get a rough idea of where it all went wrong…



That’s Jack hanging out with singer and former Lena bestie Lorde.


We’re not saying they’re definitely hooking up, but it’s worth noting that the amount of time Lorde’s been spending with Jack is inversely proportional to the amount of time she’s been spending with Lena.


In other words, yeah, we basically are saying they’re hooking up.


Jack and Lorde (real name Ella Yelich-O’Connor) claim that they’re just friends, but their recent behavior seems to tell a different story.



For starters, the two of them spent the entirety of Grammy weekend together.


Now granted, they’re frequent collaborators, so it made sense that they were seated next to each other at the ceremony.


But partying with a friend of the opposite sex when you’re fresh from a high-profile breakup obviously sends a certain message.


And onlookers say Jack and Lorde didn’t seem to mind that others were picking up on that message.


But the clearest indication that Jack and Lorde are hooking up is that the two of them were recently spotted hanging out one-on-one in Auckland, in her native New Zealand.



Antonoff played a show there with his band, but the fact that he decided to stay on in the farthest nether-regions of the planet just to spend a few more days with Lorde might speak volumes about their relationship.


“There’s nothing going on between Ella and Jack,” one insider tells People magazine.


“There’s not any type of romantic situation. They’re just friends — they really are just friends.”


It sounds like the source here, really, really wants to believe there’s nothing romantic going on between Jack and Lorde.


We wouldn’t be surprised if the insider went on to make a bunch of uncomfortable comments about Odell Beckham Jr.


The source is Lena Dunham, is what we’re saying.



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Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff: Wow! It"s Over!

One of Hollywood’s most stable and adorable couples is no more.


In very surprising news, Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff have decided to go their separate ways.



The actress/writer/producer and the singer/songwriter actually broke up in December, according to E! News insiders, following five long years of dating.


“It was mutual,” this outlet’s main source says, adding simply:


“Jack and Lena were growing apart and it just made sense for them to end their relationship where it was.”


This seems pretty hard to believe, of course.


We’re not saying there was any cheating or anything especially ugly took place between the stars.


We’re just saying break-ups are rarely truly mutual, especially not for the vague reason of just “growing apart.”



The Girls creator and the Bleachers frontman met on a blind date set up by Antonoff’s sister and comedian Mike Birbiglia back in 2012.


This blind date went so well, the musician quickly told Dunham everything about himself, “because when you really like someone, you want them to know everything about you,” Antonoff explained in 2014.


Not long afterward, Antonoff moved in to Dunham’s home in Brooklyn.


While each has referenced the other at various point in the past few months, the last time they attended a public event together was nearly a year ago; at a pre-Grammys party in early 2017.


In October, though, the actress wrote an essay about her now-ex-beau for Variety.


It partly read:


“It’s safe to say that before Jack my life was full of far fewer sights. He showed me the importance of making political statements using your public platform. He showed me the joy of collaboration.”


Despite this clear connection, though, Dunham always made it clear she never saw herself marrying Antonoff.



Perhaps that should have been a sign right there that the very long-term future was bleak, although Lena did often say the two would exchange vows once gay marriage was made legal in the United States.


But then this happened in 2015.


And still… no ring.


Speaking with People Magazine last June, the artist said his life at home with Dunham is “pretty normal in terms of everyday life.”


He went on to describe their romance as two people “trying to support each other [and] trying to find something new and exciting for dinner.”



So… where did things go wrong?


We don’t know. All websites that have reported on this break-up agree the split was amicable and that the stars will keep in touch.


“They want the best for each other no matter what. They are both moving on,” the E! News source concludes.


We’re glad to hear it.


While it’s far more fun for a celebrity gossip website to write about some seedy reason for a relationship ending, it’s far more encouraging from a human being standpoint to know people can break up and not hate each other.



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