27 Savage Texts from Exes (#14 is Especially Brutal)

Don"t do it, people.

Put that phone down and trust us: Do NOT send that text message to your former significant other.

Why not, you may somehow be wondering?

Consider the following exchanges as evidence for why this is always (repeat: always!) a bad idea… 

1. Bitch? Please.

Nice try, loser.

2. Feel Free to Call Again

Just don’t expect a response.

3. See, That’s Why I Dumped You

Do you get it now?

4. Take Your Poetic Nonsense…

…. and shove it.

5. But You’d Strangle Hitler and Bin Laden?

Right?!?

6. Too Little. Too Late.

Too awesome of a response.

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19 Stars with Especially Big Penises

These stars are packing! In the penis department, we mean.

According to various insiders, sources, rumors and innuendo, the famous studs listed below know how to please their sex partners when it comes to how large their private parts are.

If you know what we mean!

We"ve seen many of their male units and we"ve heard talk about others and let"s just say that all were blessed where many say it matters most…

1. Orlando Bloom

We don’t know why he’s naked on this paddle board. But we do know that women on the Internet were impressed.

2. Justin Bieber

A newspaper snapped a photo of Bieber on vacation in Bora Bora. He was not wearing any clothing. And let’s just say that we now understand why it was so difficult for Selena Gomez to walk away from him.

3. Jon Hamm

There are Tumblr pages dedicated to Jon Hamm’s penis. He had to actually state for the record that he’s sick of talking about it.

4. Ray J

What’s there to say? We’ve all seen the Kim Kardashian sex tape, right?

5. Harry Styles

Don’t take our word for it! Good friend Ed Sheeran confirms the size of Styles’ package.

6. Daniel Craig

007? More like 10 or 11! Dame Judy Dench has said of Daniel Craig’s penis is “an absolute monster.”

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17 Stars You Won"t Believe Are the Same Age (Especially #9)

Father Time is undefeated, as the old sports cliche goes. Sooner or later, we all get older, right? Some of us just do it better than others.

Case in point? These 17 famous people – or pairs of famous people, to be more accurate – who you won"t believe are the same age!

Then check in the mirror to see how gracefully you"re aging. Or don"t.

1. Lindsay Lohan and Dianna Agron

Dianna Agron of Glee is 29. Lindsay Lohan is too. Further comment rendered unnecessary once you stare at these photos in disbelief.

2. June Shannon and Jennifer Love Hewitt

June Shannon and Jennifer Love Hewitt are both 36 years old. Yes, Mama June from Honey Boo Boo is somehow only 36 … while we can’t believe our longtime crush JLH is 36 already. One feels like she’s 36 going on 56 and the other, 36 going on 26.

3. Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson

Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson, both known for their bodies and reality TV star power, are both 35 – or in Kim’s case, 34 for another couple of weeks! Incredible!

4. Kate Upton and Selena Gomez

Starting life as a Disney star might have done Selena Gomez good. She and Kate Upton are both 23 but one looks far older than the other.

5. Jon Hamm and Jared Leto

Mad Men’s Jon Hamm and Dallas Buyer’s Club’s Jared Leto will both be 44 by the end of 2015. Maybe it’s the long hair that keeps Leto looking so Jordan Catalono-like.

6. Tobey Maguire and Russell Brand

Tobey Maguire and Russell Brand are both 40 years old. Which one surprises you more?

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