Many dismissed last week’s Game of Thrones Season 7 premiere as a “place-setting” episode, a means of bringing fans up to speed and arranging the pieces for what’s to come.
Necessary, maybe, but not a whole lot of fun.
Plus, there was that Ed Sheeran cameo which still feels like the stuff of a “too much cheese before bed” nightmare.
Fortunately, for those who complained about a lack of fireworks in week one, “Stormborn” packed plenty of explosions of both the literal and emotional kind.
Appropriately, we open with a storm raging on Dragonstone.
Daenerys is plotting her takeover of Westeros, and she’s under no delusion that she’s being greeted as a lberator.
She’s got dragons at her beck and call, but she has no desire to be “quen of the ashes.”
It’s the most overtly political scene we’ve seen in quite some time, as the Khaleesi squares off with Varys, who she’s reminded has served other monarchs and pretenders to the throne in the oast.
“Robert was neither mad nor cruel, just had no interest in being king,” the Steve Bannon of Westeros says on the many ways kings can be fatally flawed.
At first, the Khaleesi is having none of Varys’ smooth talk, and we briefly feared he might be the season’s first major casualty.
Fortunately, Varys makes a compelling argument on his own behalf:
He’s loyal to the realm, not the king (or queen) who presides over it.
He saves his own hide, then finds himself face-to-face with another questionable counselor.
Varys’ argument against Melisandre seems weak at first, but his beef with the Red Priestess isn’t that she served other wannabe kings, but that the aspirants she works with tend to die.
Though in fairness, sometimes they’re brought back to life.
And like that, the stage is set for the long-awaited Jon Snow-Khaleesi partnership.
Suddenly, this season is moving at breakneck speed, and better yet, it’s all a lot of fun.
The loose plot strands continue to be woven together in King’s Landing, where Cersei has begun an impassioned mud-slinging campaign against Daenerys
Qyburn promises a “solution” to the dragons, which turns out to be disappointingly low-tech.
Jaime chooses a new general in the form of Sam’s father.
And weirdly, the one-handed Lannister has apparently joined the ranks of the alt-right.
“The Dothraki in Westeros for the first time in history!” Jaime argues, engaging in a bit of old-fashoned immigration panic.
Elsewhere, Jorah’s greyscale makes an ugly return, but there’s hope.
Sam has been reading up on dragonglass … and many GoT fans believe its healing properties are the reason Shireen Baratheon was able to beat the disease.
Unfortunately, that medical breakthrough is still a ways off.
Speaking of the those who served the Targaryen Dynasty, there’s lots of talk of Aegon the Conqueror and his rise to power … and how he might’ve been brought down.
The Khaleesi’s rapid rise to power in the West gives us a great great hangout/reunion scene with Grejoys, Martells, and Tyrells in one room.
Apparently, Westerosi army is the key to Tyrion’s plan – a plan that understandably frustrates the leaders who will be providing the troops.
We get one of the show’s most satisfying exchanges to date as two of its biggest badasses finally come face-to-face in the form of the Khaleesi and Olenna Tyrell.
That’s followed by an unexpectedly tender consummation scene between Missandei and Grey Worm, but this being Game of Thrones, we go from the sensuous right into the super fucking gross
(What’s up with the food/gross sh-t match cuts this season, BTW?)
On the topic of food: it’s the long-awaited return of Hot Pie!
And he brings exciting news from the North:
Arya somehow doesn’t break down in tears after learning Jon has recaptured Winterfell, and with that, the stage is set for yet another reunion.
Back in the Stark’s homeland, Sam’s Hermione routine is paying off, as he gets a raven to Jon informing him that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass.
Jon announces that to his bannermen – along with his controversial decision to travel south and meet with Daenerys.
Littlefinger does his best to get in Jon’s head before he takes off for Dragonstone, but things get heated in a hurry
(Pro tip: When you’re trying to win someone over to your side, don’t talk about banging their sister.)
Meanwhile, we get another unexpected reconciliation for Arya (the season’s theme is starting to feel a bit heavy-handed) … if that massive wolf who doesn’t tear her apart really is Nymeria.
Speaking of surprise returns, Euron Greyjoy unexpectedly emerged as a gonzo Bam Margera pirate in the season premiere.
This week, he made one of the most memorable entrances in the show’s history
Then things got weird.
We knew a Battle of the Greyjoys was in the offing for quite some time, but we didn’t expect quite so much carnage … or such an odd resolution.
After laying waste to the Sand Snakes (who, let’s be honest, never took off with fans the way they were espected to), Euron bests Yara in hand-to-hand combat and challenges Theon, who … jumps in the ocean?
It’s an off-kilter ending to an episode that arguably tried to accomplish too much.
But like everything else so far this season, it set the stage for some big things to come.
Watch Game of Thrones online at TV Fanatic to stay up to speed.