It may seem like Kate Middleton never has a care in the world.
She’s freakin’ royalty, after all, which means she can snap her fingers and have you beheaded for showing up someplace wearing the same outfit as her.
According to the people who keep track of such things Kate and Prince William are lazy even by royal standards, which we assume means they refuse to lift their heads to make things a little easier for the people who feed them grapes for a living.
But toddlers are toddlers, and they care not for your titles, tiaras, or cozy relationships with the Illuminati lizard people who control the weather.
Which means that when it comes to disciplining 3-year-old Prince George, Kate has the same problems as every mom.
Well, maybe not every other mom.
She doesn’t have to find someone to stay with her kids overnight because she got stuck working a double at whatever the UK equivalent of Wal Mart is, but you get the idea.
The first clear indication that George could possibly be anything other than the prim and proper offspring he’s been depicted as came during Pippa Middleton’s wedding last month.
Kate was spotted losing her temper with George and Princess Charlotte, and we imagine Kate Middleton getting pissed is either hilarious or pants-wettingly terrifying.
It was tough to tell from the photos.
Anyway, around this time Will and Kate lost their head housekeeper, reportedly because she quit over their excessive demands.
So there’s a vacancy in the house of Windsor, and at least one of Will and Kate’s two kids is turning out to be a royal pain.
What to do?
Why, this is England, so the answer is to bring in a proper nanny, of course.
And we’re not talking some spoonful of sugar, flying umbrella type.
No, sources say Will and Kate shelled out 250,000 pounds (about $ 320,000 or 5 Chris Christies) for a so-called “supernanny” who’ sworn to whip their kids into shape.
“The new nanny is a graduate of Bath’s prestigious Norland College,” a source tells Grazia.
“She’s fluent in six languages and will speak to the children in French and Spanish, as well as using her skills as a qualified child behavioural specialist to help Kate and William deal with tantrums and other issues.”
Yes, she may speak six languages, but she doesn’t understand sass talk, ya hear?
Anyway, that’s how we like to imagine her introductory speech to the kids going.
Naturally, they’ll fight back with various hijinks, up to and including ingenious booby traps.
We basically stopped learning new things about the world around the time Home Alone came out.