Bristol Palin Rants Against Birth Control, Remains Insane

Earlier this week, Bristol Palin said that she loves being pregnant.

Sure, she initially called her second pregnancy a “huge disappointment;” she got knocked up by cheating on her combat veteran fiance, thus bringing an end to their engagement; and she may not know who the father is.

But all those things aside, Bristol’s pregnancy has been as perfect as her mother’s public-speaking skills.

In fact, the 24-year-old single mom who’s fortunate enough to come form an absurdly wealthy family doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t start popping out kids while they’re still in their teens!

On her always-amusing Patheos blog, Bristol recently posted a piece entitled “The Government is Paying for 10 Year Olds to Get Implanted With Birth Control?!” 

As you might expect from that headline, the BS started flying fast and furious from there:

“Do you remember what it was like to be a 10 year old?  I remember being an unabashed tomboy concerned with playing outside and acing 5th grade.

“But life isn’t so innocent and carefree for some 10 years old in Washington State.  This summer a report came out claiming that some schools in Washington were giving free birth control implants to children as young as 10 years old!  

“These birth control devices are implanted in a girl’s uterus, and all of this can be done without a parent’s consent!”

Yes, the United States government is running around pumping 10-year-olds full of birth control, except no they’re not, and that’s a batsh-t thing to say.

What Bristol is referring to is a program at Chief Sealth International High School in Washington (That’s high school, like, for teenagers.) that offers students access to free and confidential reproductive health services, including birth control.

Washington is just one of 20 states in which minors can obtain birth control without their parent’s permission.

So yes, there may have been some 10-year-olds who availed themselves of these services. We guess Bristol would prefer to see a bunch of knocked up fifth graders running around.

 In any event, the program has already provided services to several hundred clients between the ages of 17 and 19. 

Think of it this way, Bristol – that’s several hundred fewer “taker” babies, who you know would just be ordering up welfare pizzas on their Obama phones.

Justin Bieber: Shirtless and Sexy on New Album Cover!

Justin Bieber has given fans something to talk about aside from his penis.

Okay, fine. It will be awhile before we really talk about anything other than Justin Bieber’s penis.

Still, the artist did come out on Instagram today with his first post since a picture of his unit leaked online this week.

Bieber unveiled his brand new album’s cover via his social media account, writing “#PURPOSE #NOV13 it is time. #5weeks” as a caption to the sexy image.

As you can see above, it features Justin Bieber shirtless and in a praying type of pose.

The record will drop on the same day as One Direction’s upcoming album, which has sparked a mini, possibly fake feud between Bieber and those handsome British boys.

Justin started it when he hurled some shade at One Direction on Instagram, sharing a video in which he said they should be scared to compete with him.

Louis Tomlinson then responded by bragging about his his group just sold out O2 Arena in London for nearly a week straight.

We’ll find out in five weeks just who will win this battle, but our money is on Bieber.

You have seen his penis heard his catchy new single, right?!?

View Slideshow: Justin Bieber Naked: Twitter Reacts!

Khloe Kardashian Shares More Pubic Hair Details Than We Needed to Know

It is apparently TMI Week in the Kardashian family.

First, Kris Jenner went on in detail about a time she supposedly join the Mile High Club with Bruce Jenner.

And now Khloe Kardashian has taken to her new website to discuss her pubic hair preferences, along with those of her sisters.

“I’m all about the landing strip,” writes Khloe, answering a question no one asked.

“I like to be clean; I like to be manicured. When there’s nothing there, it’s weird, in my opinion – especially when you have tits and an ass. It just freaks me out a little bit.”

And this means Khloe is freaked out by her own sister because…

“I know Kim is completely bare, and now she says she wishes she still had a lil’ somethin’ going on but she lasered it all off.”

Oops!

This is not the first time, of course, that we’ve heard more than we wanted to about Kim Kardashian’s vagina.

What about Kourtney Kardashian?

“I always think of Kourt as large and in charge with a full ’70s-style bush – it just matches her personality. Lol, very boho chic,” Khloé quips.

“But she swears that’s just a joke and has a landing strip … sometimes.”

In closing, Khloe says she is against those who vajazzle, writing:

“Apparently there’s a new trend where you shape your bush into a heart for Valentine’s Day or any shape for your man. Who has the energy for that?”

Jennifer Love Hewitt does, since you brought it up, Keeks.

View Slideshow: 19 Times the Kardashians Have Been in Krisis

Fake Taylor Swift Scares Real Selena Gomez on Ellen

Selena Gomez appeared as a guest on Ellen this week, responding to the host"s question about what it takes to be a member of Taylor Swift"s squad.

"Baking is involved… A lot of wine. Talking about boys," Gomez responds, before turning serious when asked what she likes most about Taylor Swift.

"She pushes me to be more confident. I’ve known her for eight years now and…"

And what?!? We may never know because a man dressed like Swift (in a sparkly jumpsuit and blonde wig) then pops up out of a box alongside Gomez and scares the you-know-what out of her.

Later in the same interview, just when Selena thinks the worst has passed her by, the same man (now also dressed like Elsa from Frozen) sneaks up on her again from behind.

You must see her reaction.