Friday, January 22, 2016

15 Reasons Why The Kids Are The Best Part of KUWTK


Despite the amount of troubling news keeping them relevant, ratings for the Kardashian"s reality series are down to past seasons.  


We can"t help but think this is due to the lack of cuteness running around while the women figure out why the men in their lives are so broken.


Enough sadness!  Give us Penelope.  Give us North.  Give us Mason because he loves the beach AND life!


 




1. North: Let Me Tamper With Your Face, Mom


North west tries to grab kims face

Why does it feel so…waxy?



2. Penelope: I’m Almost Free Of This Prison


Penelope disick attempts to walk

Just a few more steps, and I can flag down my Uber.



3. Mason: Grandma Screamed When She Saw Dad Naked


Mason disick rolls his eyes

When did she become such a prude?



4. Penelope: There Must Be a Child Services Button On This Thing


Penelope disick holds a phone and smiles

No luck, but I did order 6 puppies. Clear your data next time, mom.



5. Penelope: There’s Vodka In Here


Penelope disick sips her starbucks water

No, I will not slow down.



6. North: I’ve Devised A Failsafe Way To Travel


North wests airport ride

It’s rather genius, really.


View Slideshow

Jenelle Evans Sets the Record Straight About Police Altercation

Earlier this week, area police paid a visit to Jenelle Evans’ house to intervene in a domestic dispute that involved a screaming match between her mom Barbara and her boyfriend David Eason.



No arrests were made, but Barbara was said to leave with Jenelle’s kids, Jace, 6, and Kaiser, 1.


Now, the Teen Mom 2 star has taken to Twitter to clarify the events of that day.


“Kaiser was never taken from my house… I was in the bathroom doing my makeup to go to lunch with my mom,” she tweeted


“Kaiser was in David’s arms and she kept yelling so he asked her to leave and she didn’t… Simple.” 


“That was my nephew and Jace she took… Not Kaiser.”


Come on, Jenelle, it’s never really simple when the police get involved, is it?


Of course, it could just be another routine day for the reality star, who’s been arrested a whopping 13 times in the past five years.


So yeah, when the cops show up at the Evans home, it’s NBD. She probably has doughnuts on hand for them at all times.


However, she made no mention of whether the entire incident was staged for MTV cameras, which just happened to be there before police arrived.


“Once deputies arrived on the scene, there were cameras already there filming the reported incident,” an officer with the New Hanover County Police Department told Radar.


Jenelle also confirmed that she no longer speaks to ex-fiance and baby daddy Nathan Griffith, noting that the two communicate through a third party to discuss visitation with his son.




Jenelle Evans tweets about ex Nathan Griffiths





Jenelle Evans tweets about ex Nathan Griffiths 2



So there you have it, folks. Just another beautiful day in the Evans household.


Chelsea Handler SLAMS Mariah Carey: How Is SHE Engaged?!

Earlier today, we reported that Mariah Carey is engaged to James Packer after only eight months of dating the Aussie billionaire.



The response on social media was overwhelmingly, as Mariah has millions of cultishly devoted fans, most of whom are aware of the difficult time the iconic singer endured following her divorce from Nick Cannon.


Of course, despite the level of obsession she inspires in her fans, Mariah remains somewhat of a divisive figure.


Her drama-filled personal life, well-known history of diva demands, and cartoonishly lavish tastes have made her an easy target for mockery over the years.


Since Chelsea Handler never passes up an opportunity to take a swing at some low-hanging fruit, she immediately stepped up to the plate with what passes for a joke in her world.


“How can people keep proposing to Mariah Carey?” Handler tweeted soon after Carey made her announcement.


Most of the responses involved some combination of T&A and money, but some Mariah diehards (or “Mari-hards,” as we like to call them), came to their queen’s defense:


“Because she’s Mariah f–king Carey,” tweeted one fan. “A living legend that’s down to earth and beautiful.”


“Down-to-earth” isn’t the first description that comes to mind when we think of Mariah, but we’re guessing Chelsea’s Twitter page will be flooded with pro-Mariah tweets in the coming days.


And that’s probably just what the attention-starved comic wanted.


Kanye Wants to Host Oscars, and Give One to Kim Kardashian

Chris Rock, host of this year’s Oscar ceremony, is one of the funniest people alive. But Kanye West may have just beat him – although not intentionally.


A new report from HollywoodLife indicates that Kanye is more than willing to fill in for Chris Rock should he decide to boycott the Oscars along with Will and Jada Smith.



[Cue uncontrollable laughter.]


“Kanye would host the Oscars in a second. If Chris Rock backs out Kanye wants in,” a source told the site.


O, what a madcap ride that would be. 


Nevermind that they usually give that gig to professional comedians or at least folks who are universally liked with proven public speaking skills.


Kanye’s first order of business, should he become host? 


Awarding an Oscar to his wife, Kim Kardashian.


“He told Kim he’d even add a new category, Best Actress in a Reality Television Show,” said the source. “And of course, he’d give the award to Kim because well, he feels she is!”


[More laughter.]


Someone needs to take the the King of Delusion aside and explain to him that:


A. For the past, oh, 88 years, the Oscars have recognized achievement in movies only – not television


B. If its “reality television,” she’s not actually an actress, as in, if it’s “real,” she’s not technically acting.


We could only envision an Oscars in which Kanye would simply pick and choose the categories and winners himself, regardless of who was nominated.


Best Actress would go to Kim, naturally, and all other awards would go to Kanye.


I’d watch four hours of that.


Now, here’s the final punch line, provided by the source:


“Kanye would kill for all that air time and would also use it as a platform for his presidential run in 2020.”


Of course. Why didn’t Hillary think of that? 


Why don’t we just give Kanye a diamond-encrusted gold crown and inaugurate him as Supreme Ruling Emperor of Everything so he can go off to a remote island forever satisfied that he won life.