Christine Burke: Dry-Humped by Scott Disick in Cannes!

Remember back when Scott Disick was caught in bed with Kendall Jenner?

Only it was a staged photo? An April Fool’s Day prank?

Not everyone is laughing now.

That’s because Disick appears to be in a semi-serious relationship with Christine Burke, a young model who bears an eerie resemblance to Kendall.

Rumors of the two hooking up first circulated in March, with talk of Disick and Burke actually living together grew strong just a few days later.

We can’t confirm or deny that Disick is now residing with Burke.

But we can definitely confirm that his tongue was residing inside Burke’s mouth during an outing this week in Cannes!

Disick is in the South of France to attend parties in honor of the Cannes Film Festival.

On May 15, paparazzi members snapped pictures of the 32-year old and his 20-year old companion seemingly very hot and heavy aboard a fancy boat.

You can visit Us Weekly to see Disick lying on top of Burke, thrusting away while clothed; and also to see Burke grabbing Disick’s hand a another point in the evening.

View Slideshow: Christine Burke: Photos of Scott Disick’s Kendall Jenner Lookalike!

Disick, of course, split from Kourtney Kardashian last July amidst chatter that he cheated on her.

He tried very hard for a number of months afterward to win Kourtney back, but we’ve heard very little about any sort of romantic reconciliation possibilities in 2016.

And Disick hasn’t been just sitting around, waiting for Kardashian to make up her mind, either.

He’s got something going on with Burke and he’s also been spotted getting to first base with someone named Megan Blake Irwin.

What is the appeal of Scott Disick to these women? We may never know.

Send in your theories and try not to lose your lunch over Disick below.

View Slideshow: The Good, The Bad, The Lord: 21 Times Scott Disick Owned Reality TV

Khloe Kardashian: I Believe in God, Not Divorce

The Kardashian sisters often talk about their weight.

And their wealth. And their relationships. And then their weight a little bit more.

But there’s one topic this famous family rarely discusses.

The fact that Kris Jenner was so clearly behind the Kim Kardashian sex tape? No. Even though she was.

We’re referring to religion, however, as Khloe Kardashian took fans by surprise this week via an essay about her Christian faith for Tuesday’s edition of Lena Dunham’s Lenny newsletter.

Why is this topic relevant at the moment for Khloe?

Because she filed for divorce from Lamar Odom in 2013 and may soon finalize the legal split.

“I’ve been blessed with a lot in my life, and I’ve also had challenges,” wrote Khloe. “It was a challenge for me when I decided to get divorced.”

Divorce, of course, goes against the teachings of Catholicism.

“At my core, I don’t believe in divorce,” Khloe explains, going on to chronicle the tragedy of Odom’s substance abuse and infidelity issues.

“But I came to a point in my marriage where I had to make the choice to take care of my own mental and emotional well-being in order to protect myself and my happiness.

“I am at peace with that decision and do feel like I honored my vows to the very end. I feel that I kept the serious vows I made in front of God with every inch of my heart, which is why I am still honoring them today even though my relationship with my ex-husband is in a different place.”

Odom, of course, fell unconscious inside a Nevada brothel last October.

Kardashian has remained close by his side during recovery, but many now fear Lamar could relapse at any moment.

“I believe in caring for my partner – past or present – ‘in sickness and in health,’ and feel at peace with my relationship with God even after the fact,” Khloe writes.

“I’m thankful that I can rely on my God, who, along with my family, has led me through some of the most difficult times of my life.”

View Slideshow: 11 Times Khloe Kardashian Taught Us The Value of Tough Love

Khloe rarely goes to church, but she says attendance each week doesn’t define one as religious or not.

“Believing in a higher power is what guides me to make the right decisions,” she says.

“While I believe in heaven and hell and angels and spirits, I don’t judge people for their beliefs. And I don’t understand how others can sit around casting judgments on people because they have different religions and a certain point of view.”

We make fun of Khloe Kardashian often. Mostly because she deserves it.

But we have nothing but support for her when it comes to these views and how she has handled a difficult Lamar Odom situation.

Kid Pukes in Car, Dad Rants to Wife Via Text (and Also Pukes)

Oh jeez.

Ben Patterson had his kid, Declan strapped safely in his car seat while mom enjoyed a night out with friends.

Then Declan got carsick, and things escalated from there.

According to Us Weekly, Patterson posted the one-sided texts to his wife on Facebook because they were so obscene.

“On the way home, projectile vomit occurred …,” Patterson explained to his Facebook friends as he introduced the story.

I’ll spare you the image of the poor kid covered in vomit, but here’s the series of texts:

“So this just happened.  I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up on my self.”

“Call me.”

“I just threw up trying to clean him up.”

“It smells SO BAD.”

View Slideshow: 19 Thoughts Kids Have About Thanksgiving

“I’m standing on the side of the road dry heaving, I can’t even be in the car it’s so awful.

I seriously don’t know what to do, I’m barfing every time I try to clean him up.”

“I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids.

I’m trying to explain that I’m a sympathetic vomiter and can’t handle the smell.”

“This is SO BAD.”

The woman doesn’t believe Patterson, and goes inside to call the police.

“Aaand now the cops showed up. Because they have nothing better to do in Burlingame,” Patterson wrote.

“Aaaaand now a breathalyzer.

“YOU OWE ME SO BIG.”

“Meanwhile Declan continues to barf.”

“WHAT DID HE EAT BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING WHALE BLUBBER.”

“ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!!”

“At least I passed the breathalyzer.

“Trying to drive home down with the windows down and breathing through my shirt.”

Mom never answered her phone, bless her.

Declan will not be enjoying anymore car rides for the rest of this year.  At least not with his dad.

View Slideshow: 24 Tweets That Prove the Exercise Struggle is Real

Kid Pukes in Car, Dad Rants to Wife Via Text (and Also Pukes)

Oh jeez.

Ben Patterson had his kid, Declan strapped safely in his car seat while mom enjoyed a night out with friends.

Then Declan got carsick, and things escalated from there.

According to Us Weekly, Patterson posted the one-sided texts to his wife on Facebook because they were so obscene.

“On the way home, projectile vomit occurred …,” Patterson explained to his Facebook friends as he introduced the story.

I’ll spare you the image of the poor kid covered in vomit, but here’s the series of texts:

“So this just happened.  I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up on my self.”

“Call me.”

“I just threw up trying to clean him up.”

“It smells SO BAD.”

View Slideshow: 19 Thoughts Kids Have About Thanksgiving

“I’m standing on the side of the road dry heaving, I can’t even be in the car it’s so awful.

I seriously don’t know what to do, I’m barfing every time I try to clean him up.”

“I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids.

I’m trying to explain that I’m a sympathetic vomiter and can’t handle the smell.”

“This is SO BAD.”

The woman doesn’t believe Patterson, and goes inside to call the police.

“Aaand now the cops showed up. Because they have nothing better to do in Burlingame,” Patterson wrote.

“Aaaaand now a breathalyzer.

“YOU OWE ME SO BIG.”

“Meanwhile Declan continues to barf.”

“WHAT DID HE EAT BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING WHALE BLUBBER.”

“ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!!”

“At least I passed the breathalyzer.

“Trying to drive home down with the windows down and breathing through my shirt.”

Mom never answered her phone, bless her.

Declan will not be enjoying anymore car rides for the rest of this year.  At least not with his dad.

View Slideshow: 24 Tweets That Prove the Exercise Struggle is Real