Friday, July 1, 2016

18 Canadian Celebrities: They"re EH-Okay With Us!


These stars are all pretty big deals in their respective fields, eh?


We sure do love them, eh?


In case you haven"t understand the message by now, al the singers, actors and actresses listed below hail from our friendly neighbors to the north.


Here"s to you, Canada!




1. Drake


The drake

Drake hails from Toronto, a fact that his hardcore fans know well but which may surprise folks who assume all rap stems from here in the U.S.



2. Evangeline Lilly


Evangeline lilly fashion

Evangeline Lilly almost didn’t get to work on LOST because she couldn’t get a work visa. The show would have been LOST without her.



3. Justin Bieber


Justin bieber shrugs

Bieber was born in London, Ontario. Many Americans wish he’d stayed there.



4. Nina Dobrev


Nina dobrev is beautiful

Nina Dobrev was born in Bulgaria but raised in Canada, where she rose to fame as actress and model. She played the role of Mia Jones, the single teenage mother, on Canada’s popular Degrassi: The Next Generation, in Seasons 6-9.



5. Seth Rogen


Seth rogen observe and report premiere

Rogen hails from Vancouver. He famously despises fellow Canadian Justin Bieber.



6. Jim Carrey


Jim carrey at 2014 golden globes

Carrey comes from Newmarket, Ontario. He got his start in Toronto comedy clubs.


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Kim Kardashian: I Don"t Wear Butt Pads! LOL!

The national obsession with Kim Kardashian’s vast ass shows no signs of relenting, and the selfie queen is happy to keep the conversation going.


Earlier this week, photos surfaced of her famous derriere that suggested Kim was wearing butt pads.


The sheer skirt she wore made evident a conspicuous outline on her backside that many assumed was caused by enhancement padding.


But Kim, a staunch defender of her heiny’s authenticity, jumped on her app to dispel the rumors as untrue.


“Another day, another crazy rumor! Apparently, I was caught wearing butt pads,” she wrote.


“Here’s what really happened: A couple years ago, I wore a skirt in Miami that was totally sheer. I had no idea it was SO see-through on my butt.


“I definitely never want that to happen again, so now I always wear shapewear.”



We believe her. And we believe in the magic that is Spanx.


But she might want to invest in a girdle with fewer lines, because the point is to smooth out unwanted lumps, not create more.


“So, the fact is: I don’t wear butt pads!” Kim concluded.


“At this point, I think everyone has seen my butt naked and knows I don’t need them, LOL!”


Well, on that she has a point.


But in related news, Kim made a shocking announcement in May: she was actually trying actively to reduce the size of her caboose


Sir Mix-a-Lot is said to be holding a vigil in mourning.


Gwyneth Paltrow: People Hate Me More Than CHRIS BROWN?!

Maybe it’s the straight-faced recommendation that you purchase a $ 15,000 vibrator.



Maybe it’s her contribution of the term “conscious uncoupling” to the Dictionary of New Age-y Hollywood Bullsh-t.


Or maybe it’s just her smug insistence that she’s a self-made woman who cobbled a career together with no help from anyone – even though her father was a high-powered producer, her mother is a famous actress, and her godfather is Steven freakin’ Spielberg.


Whatever the reason, people really, really, really don’t like Gwyneth Paltrow.


To us, that’s about as mysterious as the fact that people prefer chocolate over kale chips,  but apparently the Goopster herself is shocked – shocked! – that the average American wouldn’t spit if she were on fire.


Asked about the fact that she took the number one spot in a 2013 Star magazine “most hated celebrities” poll, Gwinnie griped that she was just being “authentic self” and totes grew up super poor, you guys.


You almost have to admire her for non-ironically demonstrating the privileged lack of self-awareness that makes her so unlikable while expressing her confusion about why she’s so universally despised.


This interview is like a performance art piece:


“First of all I was like, ‘I’m the most hated celebrity?’ More than, like, Chris Brown? What did I do?” sayeth the mother of Apple, Moses and Hadron Collider. (We may have made that last one up.)


“All I can do is be my authentic self, but I think there are things about me that make people draw conclusions. For example, there is the perception that I grew up very wealthy and that I was given, you know, that I was sort of raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, which inspires a lot of resentment.”


We don’t even know what to say, so we’ll let this Kim Kardashian GIF do the talking:



Seriously, though, it’s hilarious that Gwyneth blames the public’s perception of her on the fact that the plebes mistakenly believe she grew up with a Rolls Royce in her driveway, when really it was just four BMWs.


If she just once dropped the BS and said, “Yeah, I grew up with privileges most people only dream about; I’m crazy pretentious at times, and I cheated on the food stamp challenge,” maybe people wouldn’t rather spend a weekend locked in a closet with Kanye and a coked-up Charlie Sheen than sit through one of her movies.


Come to think of it, does she still make movies? 


Kylie Jenner & Tyga: The Truth Behind Their Breakup & Makeup

If you haven’t heard, Kylie Jenner and Tyga have gotten back together… again.


It’s tough to keep track of how many times we’ve written the statement above since the two first started dating more than a year ago when Kylie was just 17.



But this last breakup seemed to be the final one, as many insiders insisted.


Naturally, it didn’t last, and after about a month apart, Kyga was back, giving us all the creeps once again.


While sources close to Kylie initially claimed the two were back together, but “taking things a lot slower,” their behavior in public and in social media tell a different story.


Just a couple days ago, Kylie referred to Tyga as her “husband” on Snapchat and fans everywhere collectively shook their heads.


So what’s the deal? Why’d they breakup? Why’d they make up?


According to E! News, the two just had to take a break.



“They needed a reset,” a source told the site. 


“Ky is happy. She feels like she needed the time apart but it’s fate.”


Spoken like a bona fide 18-year-old.


We’ve all been there, right? Yet, as we get older and wiser we wish we could shake these kids and tell them there’s so much more out there. WAY more than Tyga.


But we can’t. 


So we just have to sit here and observe until their toxic relationship eventually self-destructs or Tyga cuts his lip and bleeds to death in a freak accident involving his new diamond-encrusted grill.