Johnny Depp Posts Drunk Instagram Video, Remains Heavily Accessorized

These days, when he’s not busy altering ill-advised tattoo tributes to former flames, Johnny Depp can be seen playing guitar for the Alice Cooper-fronted supergroup the Hollywood Vampires.

And from the looks of this promotional video uploaded to Instagram today, Depp is having no trouble fitting into the rockstar lifestyle:

Johnny Depp: Drunk on Instagram

Now, obviously Depp’s not as sloshed as when he slurred his way through a speech at the Hollywood Film Awards last year.

He’s got more of a “probably should’ve filmed this two or three beverages ago” tipsy thing going on here.

Perhaps it’s all the news about his divorce from Amber Heard or his well-publicized struggles with booze, but we feel like we can smell the liquor emanating from our screens when we hit play here.

We’re starting to think “Where’s the rum?” has ceased to be just a cute Captain Jack catchphrase and is now Depp’s standard reply when someone says “good morning.”

Fortunately, Johnny hasn’t let his love of the sauce interfere with his true passion…

Yes, we’re talking about his accessories.

Maybe Depp is taking recent comments about his appearance to heart and covering himself with as much fabric as he can at all times.

Or maybe he just feels personally responsible for keeping our nation’s scarf and costume jewelry suppliers in business.

Either way he looks like someone stole a mannequin from Hot Topic, brought it to life and got it drunk.

We’re not saying the guy isn’t entitled to few dozen drinks or necklaces, but you’d think with all the recent controversy surrounding his fondness for inebriants, he’d make an effort to be a bit more alert when recording a video that’s likely to be seen by millions.

Hey, we guess even the biggest A-listers aren’t above the occasional drunk social media mistake.

Celebrities – they’re just like us … but with more bracelets.

Paige Sanderson: Stylist Sues Kim and Kyle Richards For Pitbull Attack

This is not good.

Kim Richards’ pitbull, Kingsley has attacked yet another person, this time stylist Paige Sanderson.

According to E! News, Sanderson is suing Richards, her sister, Kyle, and her son, Chad, who let Kingsley out of a room despite allegedly saying that “someone would be bitten if they did not leave.”

Kim’s attorney, Bruce London is also being sued.

Sanderson was over at Kyle’s house to help Kim with a fitting ahead of a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills appearance.  Kyle is being sued because the attack took place on her property.

Sanderson stated in court documents that the pit bull “had an extremely vicious and unusually dangerous nature and a propensity to attack, bite, and severely injured people without provocation.”

Once Davis let Kingsley out of the room, the dog “lunged at [Sanderson] and bit and held onto her lower abdomen and crotch, tearing off her leggings and underwear and ripped out portions of flesh between her legs and genitalia.”

To make matters worse, “Kim refused to call 911 unless Sanderson lied to EMT’s by blaming the attack on a stray dog,” a plan devised by both her and London.

Sanderson is suing for “negligence, emotional distress, battery, assault and strict liability.”

Kingsley is responsible for at least three previous attacks.  He bit Kyle’s daughter, Alexia, an 80-year-old woman, and his trainer.

Kim and Kyle came to blows during a reunion special in April 2015, when Kim accused Kyle of sharing Instagrams from inside Alexia’s hospital room while she underwent surgery.

“Kim was upset, because I had posted pictures from the hospital. Like I said at the reunion, I NEVER said her dog bit Alexia. Never mentioned her OR her dog,” Kyle wrote on her blog after the episode aired.

“TMZ ended up finding out that it was Kim’s dog, and she blamed me, because I posted the pictures from the hospital. I did not do that to hurt my sister in any way or to ‘get Instagram followers,’ like she suggested.

“With all of my family coming and going at the hospital, people were bound to find out and talk.”

A source told Radar Online that after the attack occurred, Kim accepted “absolutely no responsibility for the dog biting incident, which makes Kyle absolutely nuts.”

View Slideshow: 20 Really Big Real Housewives Scandals

Angelina Jolie: Brother James Haven Called WHAT By Her Twins???

Well, this is awkward.

Angelina Jolie has enlisted the babysitting services of her older brother, James Haven.  Everything is going really well.  So well that her twins, Vivienne and Knox, have stared calling Haven “daddy.”

Brad’s absolutely working his butt off right now and the kids rarely see him,” a source told OK! Magazine.

“He leaves for the set before they wake and comes home after they’ve gone to bed.”

Haven, 43, has been a “total rock” to his sister while Pitt works.

“There are days when James spends more time with them than either of their busy parents, but hopefully they’ll intervene if they start calling him ‘mom’ too!”

Angelina Jolie at Kids Choice Awards

Haven gained notoriety when he accompanied Jolie to the 2000 Oscars (where she won Best Supporting Actress for Girl, Interrupted).  There, the two shared a kiss that many would describe as incestuous.

Not so, according to a friend, who explained the seemingly inappropriate public display of affection.

“The day she kissed Jamie at the Oscars, it was the first day Marcheline was treated for cancer.

“They left the hospital together and got ready together,” the late Marcheline Bertrand’s friend, Cis Rundle told Radar Online in 2014.

“Nobody in the world knew that they spent the day in the hospital. It was like, ‘Look where we’re at now.’ But the world saw something incestual.

“It was meant to be ‘Here we are.’ They only ever had each other. They had a very tight relationship with each other and their mother.”

Bertrand passed away after battling both ovarian and breast cancer in January 2007.

Pitt and Jolie are caught up in yet another round of “divorce” rumors.  

“Angie is ready to divorce Brad,” a source told Star Magazine back in June.

“She’s fed up with what her life has become and wants to make a change.”

Well…at least “daddy” Haven is there to pick up the pieces? I guess?

Angelina Jolie: Brother James Haven Called WHAT By Her Twins???

Well, this is awkward.

Angelina Jolie has enlisted the babysitting services of her older brother, James Haven.  Everything is going really well.  So well that her twins, Vivienne and Knox, have stared calling Haven “daddy.”

Brad’s absolutely working his butt off right now and the kids rarely see him,” a source told OK! Magazine.

“He leaves for the set before they wake and comes home after they’ve gone to bed.”

Haven, 43, has been a “total rock” to his sister while Pitt works.

“There are days when James spends more time with them than either of their busy parents, but hopefully they’ll intervene if they start calling him ‘mom’ too!”

Angelina Jolie at Kids Choice Awards

Haven gained notoriety when he accompanied Jolie to the 2000 Oscars (where she won Best Supporting Actress for Girl, Interrupted).  There, the two shared a kiss that many would describe as incestuous.

Not so, according to a friend, who explained the seemingly inappropriate public display of affection.

“The day she kissed Jamie at the Oscars, it was the first day Marcheline was treated for cancer.

“They left the hospital together and got ready together,” the late Marcheline Bertrand’s friend, Cis Rundle told Radar Online in 2014.

“Nobody in the world knew that they spent the day in the hospital. It was like, ‘Look where we’re at now.’ But the world saw something incestual.

“It was meant to be ‘Here we are.’ They only ever had each other. They had a very tight relationship with each other and their mother.”

Bertrand passed away after battling both ovarian and breast cancer in January 2007.

Pitt and Jolie are caught up in yet another round of “divorce” rumors.  

“Angie is ready to divorce Brad,” a source told Star Magazine back in June.

“She’s fed up with what her life has become and wants to make a change.”

Well…at least “daddy” Haven is there to pick up the pieces? I guess?