When the world first learned that Kylie Jenner was dating Tyga, it was widely assumed that she would come to her senses and kick his ass to the curb sooner rather than later.
After all, she was still in high school, while he was dad in his mid-twenties with an ailing rap career, and plenty of motive to take advantage of one of the most famous teens on the planet.
There was a period of time last year when it looked like Kylie had come to her senses.
She dumped Tyga and was rumored to have thoroughly enjoyed her brief time on the singles scene with a number of considerable less-skeevy dudes.
But those days are done, and now it seems like news of Kylie and Tyga getting married is inevitable.
In fact, there’s a rumor going around that the reality star and the Z-list rapper have already gotten hitched.
Yes, according to Life & Style, Kylie and Miley both got hitched over the holidays.
It’s safe to say the bit about Miley is BS, as she’s not exactly the type to keep major life events to herself.
But the Kylie article comes complete with eye witness accounts of the kind of lavish nuptials we would expect for the second most popular member of the Kardashian clan …
… and they’re almost certainly BS, as well:
“Kylie was trying to hold back the tears as she and Tyga exchanged vows. She didn’t want her makeup to run all over her white Balmain dress,” says one supposed wedding guest.
“The wedding was very low-key and organized at the last minute,” the source adds.
“They only invited family and a couple of close friends because they wanted to keep it very private.”
A different insider reports that there was some last-minute drama as Kris Jenner attempted to talk her daughter out of becoming Mrs. T-Raww.
Kris “tried to persuade her daughter to postpone” says one source, but the lovestruck teen couldn’t be dissuaded.
Then Kylie sprouted wings, and, before flying away, announced that she would be back to serve as Kanye’s running mate in the 2020 presidential election, constitutional age restrictions be damned.
Okay, we made that last part up, but it’s really no more blatantly false than the rest of the story.
So how do we know that Kylie and Tyga aren’t married?
Well, we don’t, but come on…
Do you really think that Kylie would keep something like this a secret for two weeks?
The girl literally doesn’t drink a smoothie without posting video evidence of it on Instagram.
The fact that Life & Style is the only outlet reporting this is another massive red flag.
As Gossip Cop points out, this is the same tabloid that had Kylie and Tyga getting married in 2015, and has reported that Kylie is pregnant at least four times.
Sadly, legitimate news of a Kyga wedding is probably in our near future.
Fortunately, no vows have been exchanged quite yet, which means Kylie still has time to come to her senses.