Last month, we learned that Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison got divorced.
In the weeks since, Stodden has rushed right through the usual celebrity meltdown milestones.
Courtney developed a drinking problem (or at least pretended to #mystique).
At one point, she shaved her head for reasons that remain unclear.
We were braced for her to enter a rebound relationship with Charlie Sheen and start munch Xanax out of a bowl with a cereal spoon when she finally began to pull herself out of the tailspin.
Yes, even Coutney’s sped past all the stops on the trainwreck tour so quickly she’s already at Redemption Junction.
It’s almost like she was never really that upset and is actually kind of okay with being rid of the creepster who’s 34 years her senior and married her before she was a legal adult.
Anyway, Courtney is still pretending to be mildly heartbroken because she sort of has to, but she’s also posting lots os nude selfies, so color us interested:
“I think both of us saw the warning signs for quite some time,” Stodden, 22, told Us.
“Technically we’ve been split for two-and-a-half to three months now. It’s really recent and the emotions are still really raw.”
Courtney added that she’s been occupying herself by becoming fluent in Dr. Phil-ese, saying:
“It’s hard right now but we’re trying to individually find our happiness. It’s just really sad right now.”
Stodden says that even though the marriage didn’t last, she still reflects fondly on her time with her acting coach-turned-Humbert Humbert:
“He’s been my rock for me through so many things that I’ve been through,” Stodden told Us.
“It’s been interesting for sure.”
We’re starting to think that Courtney’s definition of “interesting” is very different from ours.
Fortunately, Courtney’s boobs are lighting the way through this boring, boring time in her life:
We’ll give her this much:
Despite her youth, Stodden has a keen understanding of how the Internet works and she knows her strengths:
There were three interesting things about her – her creepy marriage, and her boobs – and now she’s down to two.
So she’s doing what any aspiring starlet with a thirst for fame and a dearth of talent would do:
She’s flaunting the hell out of them, which is the proper way for her to process her divorce.
After all, you can’t spell “Stodden” without double-D’s.