“Why so serious?” 29-year-old Lawrence Patrick Sullivan might have asked police when they slapped the cuffs on him Tuesday night.
We’re sure the Jared Leto Joker, whom he’s clearly meant to resemble, also has some sort of catchphrase, but we’re not googling “Suicide Squad dialogue,” and you can’t make us.
Anyway, it’s not illegal to spend your life looking like Hot Topic merchandise come to life (yet), so what exactly was Sullivan arrested for?
Brandishing a gun at a group of strangers, which seems decidedly un-Joker-like.
Like, the Joker is a nihilistic agent of chaos and a criminal mastermind.
According to an arrest affidavit, Sullivan was taken into custody after waving a loaded Smith & Wesson outside the West Kendall apartment complex near Miami.
“I have a gun in my pocket,” Sullivan told arresting officers.
Asked if he had a concealed weapons permit, Sullivan replied that the application process is too expensive.
Frankly, we think the self-described male model would be more convincing as the world’s first meth-fueled supervillain, The Smoker.
Sullivan is reportedly free and awaiting trial after posting $ 5,000 bail.
To the surprise of not a single person on the planet, court documents reveal that he lives with his mother.
Thankfully, no one got hurt, which means the story of Batman’s lamest adversary is the rare non-tragic piece of gun-related national news.
But does the Broke Joker deserve a spot in our prestigious Florida Man Hall of Fame?
Is his story up there with the guy who tried to cash a $ 368 billion check to finance his underwater restaurant?
Or the Sunshine State gent who attacked a cop with his own badge after he was busted having sex with trees?
Probably not, in terms of sheer entertainment value, but there are many varieties of crazy in the land of citrus, and we like to take time to appreciate the subtler flavors.
And besides, this dude is gonna walk around looking like that for the rest of his life, which is pretty damn bonkers.
And so, Lawrence Patrick Sullivan of Miami, we hereby induct you into the prestigious Florida Man Hall of Fame.
If you want, we can send you a certificate that your mom can put on the fridge next to your newspaper clippings.
