Friday, June 16, 2017

Amber Rose: I Haven"t Had Sex Since ...

Amber Rose flashed her full bush on Instagram, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that she doesn’t shy away from talking about her sex life.


But this definitely qualifies as more information than anybody asked for.


Honestly, some folks might find Amber Rose’s latest statement about sex a little too relatable.



So, Amber Rose shared a pretty straightforward meme on Instagram, featuring the words:


“When it’s six months into 2017 and you still haven’t been f–ked yet.”


Some memes are pretty cryptic (or neo-dadaist).


But those words accompanied by a crying woman’s face are about as straightforward as it gets.


That said, a meme lamenting a sexual dry spell is admittedly not what many people would expect from a woman whose pubic hair we’ve all seen so very, very recently.



But Amber Rose explains in her captions, in case anyone thinks that she’s just getting a chuckle in between rounds of sex with, like, a pair of fitness models


Or whatever people imagine that she does to spend her time.


(Even though Amber Rose’s only threesome was relatively recent and not really her thing)


“When the world thinks you have Orgies all day and mad dudes because ur sexually confident and body positive,” her caption begins.


“But really you’re a full-time mom/ businesswoman and literally have no time for penis #hoeislife tho”


We guess that life as a sex-positive MILF isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be?



No, but really, Amber Rose is a mom and a businesswoman.


That bottomless photo wasn’t an outtake from a sex tape — that was a photograph.


She was working.


She’s not, like, a space princess from some 1970s scifi fever-dream, lounging about in a pleasure palace while loincloth-clad men attend to her.


(That would be a great photoshoot concept, though)


But yeah, even on top of work, you have to remember that the M in MILF is its own full-time job.



For anyone confused about why she’d refer to herself as a hoe, it’s just part of reclaiming words that have been used to demean women for doing the things that earn men praise.


After all, “slut” and “stud” are often used to mean the same thing, but with wildly different connotations.


Some might suggest that she has no claim to those words after a six-month dry spell.


But, as a friend of mine once wisely reminded me: “There’s no wrong way to be a slut.”


In other words, #hoelife is at least as much about state of mind as it is about notches in your proverbial bedpost.


Good for Amber for reminding the world that you don’t ever lose your hoe cred.


(Unless you want to)



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