Another week, another random Lena Dunham-related controversy.
At this point, you Lena drama is as predictable as the tides, and it always seems that just as she’s putting one mini-scandal behind her, another rushes in.
Part of this is the Internet’s fault, as social media users routinely lose their minds over molehill-caliber stuff like not liking Lena’s latest tattoos.
But, of course, a big part of it is Lena’s fault, as she routinely courts controversy by saying and doing problematic sh-t, and then turning around and seeking sympathy from the ultra-PC recreational outrage crowd whenever it suits her.
It’ been going on for years, and lena is certainly not the first born-rich celebrity who can’t comprehend that the public will occasionally voice displeasure with her, and sometimes it’s best to just shrug it off, rather than making things worse with a lame explanation.
Particularly when that explanation contains statements that are easily exposed as lies, and may lead to a press investigation that will expose myriad other lies.
This one had to do with Lena’s former dog, Lamby.
We say former dog not because Lamby has died … though she’s hopefully gone to a better place.
You see, after four years of ownership and despite an income that allows for ample dog walkers, god psychologists, dog accupuncturists, and dog yoga instructors, Lena decided Lamby had become too much of a burden and gave Lamby away.
She explained the decision in a lengthy Instagram post in which she basically pinned the blame for her dog’s “aggressive behavior on previous, abusive owners that don’t exist … and the staff at one of the most highly-regarded anumal shelters in the country.
“After four years of challenging behavior and aggression that could not be treated with training or medication or consistent loving dog ownership, Lamby went to live at an amazing professional facility in Los Angeles,” Dunham wrote.
“Lamby suffered terrible abuse as a pup that made having him in a typical home environment dangerous to him and others- we needed to be responsible to ourselves, our neighbors and especially our beloved boy.”
Some have offered kudos to Lena for finding a professional facility to care for Lamby, instead of just returning him to the shelter, but she adopted from a no-kill shelter and promised to return the dog and not re-home it.
But even if you’re under the mistaken impression that Lena deserves praise for finding Lamby a new home, just about everything else that she wrote is suspect at best, slanderous at worst.
This is far from the first time that Dunham’s fitness to own a dog has been questioned, but this time the main source of controversy isn’t her lack of training ability but the fact that Lena appears to have flat-oit lied about Lamby’s history of abuse.
Not surprisingly, the shelter responded with a statement clarifiying that Lamby was not abused, did not have three additional owners, and had no history of aggressive behavior.
“We checked the records for Lamby,” said spokesman Robert Vazquez.
“He was ‘owner surrendered, not enough time,’ so we do not know where she got ‘multiple owners that abused the dog.’”
Vazquez continued:
“When she adopted the dog from us, it wasn’t crazy,” Vazquez continued.
“I have pictures of the dog loving on Lena and her mom, which is weird if the dog was abused. It wouldn’t be cuddling with her or be in the bed with her ‘boyfriend’ in the pages of Vogue.”
He also points out that Lamby frequently accompanied Lena at work and on film and talk show sets.
The Vogue comment refers to a 2013 issue of the magazine, in which Lena can be seen lying in bed with Lamby. (Look at that adorable little psycho!)
In the same article accompanying the incriminating photo Lena made the apocryphal claim that Lamby had been passed around amongst multiple abusive owners:
Dunham claimed the dog had had “three other homes, three other names, but now he’s mine mine mine.”
Again, this appears to be a lie.
Naturally, Dunham took to Instagram to furhter explain the mess … and dug herself a deeper hole:
“It’s come to my attention that the staff at the shelter where I adopted Lamby have a very different account of his early life and behavioral issues than I do,” she wrote.
While I’m sorry to have disappointed them … I would never say an unkind word about the staff of BARC, what they do is amazing and life saving for these animals- but we have different accounts of Lamby’s behavior and they were not present in my home nor did they live with him for an extended period.”
In case you can’t stomach another long-winded excuse for sh-tty behavior, Lena basically said, “I’m not calling the shelter staff liars … but yeah, they’re totes lying.”
Proving that there’s no situation she can’t make worse, Dunham has since bought – not adopted – two young poodles.
We guess after spending so much time on set with his daughter, she decided to attend the Brian Williams School of Scandal Management.