Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Megan Fox to Brian Austin Green: Hey, Thanks for All the Sperm!

Is this gorgeous couple ready to pop out yet another child?


Brian Austin Green confessed to wanting, after having four sons, to have a daughter.


And Megan Fox follows up with a humorous post that thanks him for providing her with his DNA. You might need some context for this.



Megan Fox has a fun sense of humor and she’s a fantastic mom.


A decade ago, we might not have believed that we’d one day make that statement, but here we are.


(To be fair, a decade ago, Megan Fox was still largely defined by her role in Michael Bay’s twisted abomination of a Transformers franchise. There are good Transformers stories out there, folks, but you won’t see them in theaters)


Megan Fox, as a mother, is sort of goofy and New Agey about things like pregnancy.


Before Megan Fox gave birth to her third baby, a boy named Journey, she bought a new house because, and we’re not making this up, Megan believed that her unborn child didn’t like the old house.


Like we said, goofy and New Agey.


Of course, Megan Fox has come under fire for her parenting before.


But just by folks who wig out if they see a boy wearing a dress, because fabric has genders or whatever.


Our favorite bit of backlash over Noah’s enthusiasm for Frozen was truly next-level:


“Putting your son in a dress conforming to the gay trans illuminati agenda. Burn in hell witch! You’re sickening!”


That level of belief in multiple conspiracy theories and bigotry combined?


That’s art.



So, on the subject of being a parent, Brian Austin Green was recently interviewed by Dax Holt.


And … Brian Austin Green really wants a baby girl, you guys.


The couple have three sons together:


-Noah, who is 4.


-Bodhi, who is 3.


-Journey, who is about 1.


Brian Austin Green also has a 15-year-old son, Kassius, from a previous marriage. So he has four sons.


Naturally, Dax asked if he was in the market for more.


“I don’t know. I have four boys now, a fifth is a basketball team. So, that would kind of be awesome.”


We didn’t know that basketball teams had five people, so you learn something new every day! Even if it’s sometimes about sports.


“I want a girl. I really want a girl.”


That sounds like something that shouldn’t matter, but whatever.


“I’m worried that if I try I’ll just get another boy. Not ‘just’ ‘cause I love my boys, but I’ll have another boy, and I don’t know if I’m ready for five.”


If you’re ready for five children, you’re ready for five girls or five boys. They both eat food and sleep in beds. Apart from social factors, they’re not that different.



Megan Fox took to Instagram shortly after the interview aired to share her take on it.


“Thank you for donating your DNA to the shared dream of birthing our own colony of teen heart throbs. #mcm #colonymission”


Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green got back together a while ago and are both parents, so it’s pretty clear that Megan is joking.


It is, first of all, just a funny caption to write.


Also it’s entertaining to imagine them breeding a small army of future boyband singers and models and what-not.


(With Megan Fox’s genes? Nobody would stand a chance)


But thanking Brian Austin Green for “donating his DNA” is just a couple of rephrases short of “thanks for all the sperm,” which is objectively funny.



Again, though, they’re still in a relationship so this isn’t the thing where people refer to their exes as “sperm-donors” because that’s their only role.


Honestly, rumor about a decade ago didn’t paint a picture of Megan Fox that at all resembled the Megan Fox that we now know and love.


Of course, that “image” that we saw of Megan Fox was built off of her struggle to get along with Michael Bay, who turns out to be as bad at social interaction as he is at making an intelligible, coherent film about giant robotic aliens that turn into vehicles.


(He’s a douche, basically)


Honestly, we love updates on Megan Fox and her family. There’s always something entertaining.



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