Saturday, August 26, 2017

Kylie Jenner: Fame Sucks, I Want to Live on a Farm!

Kylie Jenner … well, the girl has been a little difficult lately.


Or, at the very least, it’s been difficult to find any redeeming qualities about her lately.



Besides, you know, her hot bod and all.


It’s not that Kylie has ever been super likeable or anything — and that’s not shade, that’s a fact — but things have gotten worse since her reality show, Life of Kylie, began airing.


In many scenes in the show, she comes off like an ungrateful, whiny brat, to be honest.


Remember that time that she explained that she felt like an outcast? Even though she’s insanely popular and beloved by youths all around the world?


Or how about the time that she whined about how everyone copied her fun hair colors — that was tough to watch, wasn’t it?


There was also that time that she laid in bed moaning about how the tabloids dared to discuss her dating life.



How dare they? It’s not like she’s intentionally putting her personal life out there for everyone to … oh, wait, that’s exactly what she’d doing.


It’s just exhausting, and the show just began airing recently.


But, judging by this new interview she did with V magazine to accompany those “nude” photos, she’s not saving all the complaining for television!


About those photos, Kylie says “That was actually my first super nude shoot. I always post sexy pictures, but have never really gone nude.”


Though the shoot is pretty scandalous, and you definitely get an eye-full of bare boob underneath sheer lingerie, we’d argue that she’s still not “super nude” in the pics.



It’s still cool though, so she gets a pass so far.


But then she’s asked about her many, many wigs, and she says “All I know is that when I go into weave stores, they have colors that I’ve worn, which is cool.”


And we already have to stop her.


Girl, stop acting like you invented blue hair. Just stop. It’s embarrassing.


There’s no denying that she’s a trendsetter, but so are many, many other celebrities who’ve dared to rock hair that isn’t blonde, brown, or black.


Still, she says that “Back then, I dyed my hair blue and teal and other colors. I would do meet and greets and every other girl — even guys — had teal hair.”


“They’d be like, ‘I did this because of you! Everyone has teal hair now!"”



In addition to inventing teal hair, Kylie is also responsible for the careers of countless rappers and singers.


“Other artists shout me out that I’ve never met before,” she explains, “like, ‘I owe this to Kylie for putting this on her Snapchat."”


“And meeting new artists in person and them saying, ‘This was a big help from you, you playing my song’ — it’s just really cool.”


She then tells the story behind one of her many tiny tattoos — the one on her hip of the phonetic spelling of the word “sanity.”


She says that when she got the tattoo “that I felt a little bit like I was going insane. Or, I was going to.”


It was right about the time she turned 18 when she got the tattoo, and to be fair, it did seem to be a pretty intense time for her.


“I thought about it for a while,” she adds. “I just like the word ‘sanity’ — just stay sane through it all.”



“A lot of young stars who grow up in the spotlight have a really hard time. I didn’t want that to be me.”


And speaking of the spotlight, it sounds like she’s getting a little sick of it.


“I just want a lot of property,” Kylie says about her future retirement. “That seems like the best life ever: horses and a farm and a garden.”


It sounds like she might even pull a Michael Jackson and get a house in Bahrain!


Or, well, she says “I don’t know about Bahrain, but I would be down for something. It would be a good feeling to just live a normal life for a second.”


“I don’t know what it’s like to not be in the spotlight,” she continues. “That’s normal to me. There’s nothing you can do about it.”


“There are so many great things about life, I’m just trying to focus on that.”



But even though it really sounds like she’s tired of being famous, she admits that “I do have a guy that follows me all the time. I just never show anyone the footage.”


“Maybe one day.”


Ugh, Kylie, who even has time for this?


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