Eric Johnson is a very lucky man.
It’s his birthday, but he has a lot more to celebrate than turning 38. For example, his wife is one of the most gorgeous women on the planet.
And Jessica Simpson honored her husband on his birthday by flashing her butt for the world to see. Marriage goals, right?
You know, our first thought when we saw the picture below was:
“These buns are made for walking.”
That’s not a song that’s original to Jessica Simpson, but to those of us born after 1980, she was our introduction to “These Boots Are Made For Walking.”
(Specifically, her Pizza Hut “these bites are made for poppin"” commercial where she feeds a pizza bite to a boy who’s, like, 14, which is one of the cringiest things that we’ve ever seen on a commercial … which is saying a lot)
Anyway, Jessica Simpson is drop-dead gorgeous.
She’s married to Eric Johnson, whom we mostly know as “Jessica Simpson’s husband,” but he’s also some sort of sportsball player (the one with the ball shaped like Hey Arnold‘s head).
They’re all around a cute couple and we love stories about them and their kids.
But this photo is … considerably less family-oriented.
That’s quite a birthday outfit, if still a far cry from a “birthday suit.”
Also, Eric Johnson is holding two mugs of two different-looking beers.
(We refuse to say that he’s “double-fisting” the beers, especially in this context, but also in any context … please don’t make us explain why)
Maybe he’s holding Jessica Simpson’s drink for the photo, maybe he’s just living his best life because it’s his birthday.
Commenters felt a range of emotions in response.
“Girl, there’s a time and place for everything but… ‘Oh no Baby what is you doing?!’”
We love the Oh no baby what is you doing meme, but this really isn’t the place for it. Let her live her life.
“Highly inappropriate. Should be behind closed doors.”
It’s literally just her butt. Her head is clearly turned to the side and other people are present.
She’s not, like, fellating him.
Chill.
This is not even the first time this year that Jessica Simpson has celebrated a birthday in a way that included her butt.
Jessica Simpson flashed her 37-year-old butt on Instagram back in July.
Oh, and she was topless.
Don’t you feel grateful to live in the age of social media?
Remember, unlike genitals and the “dreaded” lady-nipples that can apparently scar minds or something, butts are totally allowed on Instagram.
There are even Instagram accounts dedicated entirely to butts.
Or … so we hear.
Jessica Simpson doesn’t always make sense, but she doesn’t have to.
She’s gorgeous and she’s happy, and that’s what matters.
Also, remember the craze where everyone was either sampling or covering “You Spin Me Right ‘Round” about a decade ago?
(It was the result of a viral video called “Meatspin;” do not look it up)
Jessica Simpson had the best of them and she even rewrote a lot of the lyrics.
Point is, she’s a treasure, and we look forward to her celebrations of even more birthdays in the future.
