So there’s been this thing going on for the past couple of weeks, don’t know if you’ve noticed, where all kinds of people are really opening up about moments when they were harassed.
It’s like women started talked about their experiences with Harvey Weinstein, then suddenly everyone felt comfortable sharing some real deep, dark stuff.
It’s actually been pretty inspiring to see.
People have called out Harvey and other celebrities like Ben Affleck and George Clooney for their bad behavior, and now actress/comedian Charlyne Yi is doing the same with David Cross.
In a series of tweets made on Monday, Charlyne recalled the first time she met David.
It was about ten years ago, she explained, and “he made fun of my pants (that were tattered because I was poor). Dumbfounded I stared at him speechless and he said to me ‘what’s a matter? You don’t speak English?? Cing-chong-ching-chong."”
“Then after he saw I was offended he asked me if I was going to fight with him karate in a southern accent.”
She said that a few years after that, she was introduced to him again after she performed a comedy show, and “he said ‘Hi nice to meet you."”
“I will say this,” she continued. “I can tell the difference between this man making a joke vs condescending me.”
“This happened 10 years ago and I sure as hell hope he’s changed (or at the very least, he’s scared enough to not be his racist self.”
“HOWEVER,” she concluded, “it is very uncool that a 40+ man was being racist towards me, being a young 20 year old woman who was clearly on the verge of tears from his first racist comment.”
So that’s a pretty awful story, right?
But in a Twitter post of his own, David suggested that perhaps Charlyne simply wasn’t remembering things correctly.
He wrote that this “accusation” was “deeply upsetting,” that he would “never intentionally hurt someone like that,” and that he does not even remember any of this happening.
However, he also tried to make it clear that he wasn’t accusing her of lying, “and I’m truly sorry if I hurt her, it was never my intention to do that.”
David said that while he doesn’t remember doing any of the things Charlyne said he did, he reached out to her about the issue, and he also proposed “the possibility that perhaps we are both misremembering exactly what happened that night.”
He finished up his message with “I can’t believe I have to write this but I am not a racist nor a bully and loathe them in real life.”
But after mulling the whole thing over for a while, he came to the conclusion that he may have actually said those things, but he just said them as “some asshole redneck racist character.”
Because he grew up in Georgia, see, and he’s frequently used that kind of character to make fun of those asshole redneck racists. Charlyne just didn’t get that, apparently.
After explaining that, he wrote that he was “done with this,” and that he hopes the people who have called him a racist have to deal with a similar scandal, because “maybe then you won’t be so quick to judge.”
Yikes.
Why is it so hard for some people to just make a sincere apology for something they’ve done? Why is that such a task?
Charlyne made it clear that David offended her and hurt her, and not for some ridiculous reason either — regardless of whether or not he was doing a character, he said racist things to her and it didn’t go over well.
Why does he feel the need to justify it so much when a simple “Hey, I was trying to be funny and messed up, I’m sorry” would have done the job?
Whatever the reason, David’s wife, Amber Tamblyn, has jumped into the fray, too.
And if you’re remembering her amazing words about feminism and sexism and hoping she’ll make it all better … well, you’re in for a surprise. Not a good one, either.
People were talking on Twitter about David’s lackluster response to Charlyne’s story, and someone said that it was unfortunate because Amber is so great.
“He said he was sorry, publicly, several times,” she responded. Please don’t @ me in conversations dragging my husband. Thanks.”
Several people called her out for that statement, because David never really apologized, and he certainly didn’t do it several times.
Someone even pointed out that she dragged James Woods “like a dead body all over the internet for being a perv but ‘sorry’ is OK for your obnoxiously racist husband.”
Enough people pointed out the problem that she reconsidered, and last night she revealed that she personally spoke with Charlyne, “and her feelings/safety are all that matter to me.”
“We’re good,” she added. “I owe you nothing, Twitter. You’re lucky to have me.”
“I’ll say it again,” she wrote when people still tried to criticize her. “I spoke to Charlyne. I believe her. I’m about HER feelings/emotional health right now, not Twitter’s. That okay with you?”
“I will say this for the last time. Do not hold women accountable for the actions, decisions or words of their partners. Don’t. Do it.”
What an emotional roller coaster.
