If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules recently, you know that in its sixth season, the show shows no signs of slowing down in terms of delivering an endless stream of drama that’s by turns appalling and wildly entertaining.
Things got off to a wild start thanks to the not-all-that-surprising revelation that Jax Taylor’s been cheating on Brittany Cartwright.
But it’s a testament to just how bonkers the entire cast is that the show’s not building its entire season around that storyline.
Aside from the inevitable boring-ass Lisa-centric storylines (If we have to listen to one more conversation about Tom-Tom investor relations…) the show has maintained a pretty livlely pace with plenty of infidelity to keep fans engaged.
Monday’s episode saw yet another cheating scandal, neither of which were terribly shocking, but both of which made for compelling entertainment.
All summer, rumors that Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz were headed for divorce circulated non-stop on social media.
And the couple didn’t do much to dispel that notion, what with taking separate vacations and seldom appearing on one another’s social media.
So it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Lala Kent accused Tom of cheating on Katie on this week’s installment of Vanderpump.
But Tom’s puzzling response to the allegation has fans confused about what exactly transpired.
“Katie and Stassi and Kristen all went to New York,” Lala explained to Scheana Marie and Ariana Madix.
“I get a phone call from my friend Allie, and she’s like, ‘La, oh my God, Tom Schwartz is here. And she goes, ‘Dude, he can’t keep his hands off of me. They made out. He was like touchy-feely.”
Naturally, it didn’t take long for word to get back to Katie, and to the surprise of absoulutely no one, she flipped the eff out.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like this mystery will be resolved in the same satisfactory fashion as the Jax-Brittany-Faith debacle.
Tom reacted to the allegation the same way he reacts to everything–by playing with his hair, acting charmingly befuddled, and claiming his boozy brain formed no memories of the incident in question.
As with the last time he was accused of making out with some rando while blackout hammered, the truth will likely remain a mystery, and Katie will eventually move on.
(And by “move on,” we mean angrily bring it up every time she’s in close proximity to a bottle of tequila for the rest of her natural life.)
What’s really weird about all of this is Lala’s motivation for spilling the tea:
“I was down for her. I was never gonna say anything. She is not safe anymore,” Lala fumed after learning that Katie had pointed out that Kent is banging a maried guy in exchange for private jet flights.
“You f-ck with my relationship, I am coming for you full force. Dude, what a dumb ass bitch. Well, her marriage is gonna end, so that’s her karma.”
So wait, you weren’t gonna tell her that her husband is cheating, and you considered that to be some sort of favor?!
Yeesh. We were actually pretty down with Lala until this season, but she’s proving herself to be the malicious, shady-ass female equivalent of James Kennedy more and more with each episode.
Watch Vanderpump Rules online to get caught up on what’s thus far been an insanely drama-packed season.