Back in 2015, the world first marveled at the hideousness that is Ben Affleck’s giant back tattoo.
Many breathed a deep sigh of relief when Affleck revealed that the tattoo is fake and that he covered a massive segment of his torso with a goofy-ass cartoon phoenix for the sake of a movie.
Sadly, we now know that Affleck was lying about the tattoo being airbrushed on.
Earlier this week, Ben put the horrendous ink on full display while filming a scene set on a beach.
Needless to say, he was roasted to a crisp by the internet’s finest sh-t talkers, both for getting the tattoo in the first place and for lying to the world about it.
But Ben’s got some loyal friends in his corner, people who would never turn their backs on him … possibly for fear that he’d be all, “You know what would look dope, dude? A fire-breathing dragon like slithering up your spine!”
Matt Damon has been Ben’s bestie since the bygone era when Harvey Weinstein was someone people actually wanted to work with.
Last night, Damon appeared on The Daily Show, where he sat down with Trevor Noah to answer the tough questions about #BensBack.
“It’s not one man’s job to tell another man what he can do to his back,” Matt said in a classic dodge.
“I support him in all of his artistic expression.”
Clearly, Damon has mastered the art of throwing shade without really throwing shade.
If he actually liked Ben’s ink even a little bit, Matt likely would have said so.
With his non-response Matt joins the ever-growing list of celebs who think Ben’s phoenix is the fugliest thing
“You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart,’” said Affleck’s ex and noted shade queen, Jennifer Garner.
The other former Jen in Ben’s life was even more direct in her criticism, telling Andy Cohen:
“It’s awful! What are you doing?”
She added:
“His tattoos always have too many colors, they shouldn’t be so colorful. They should be cooler.”
At this point, Ben’s life is basically a party question game:
“Okay, so you’re a millionaire and you get to dress up as Batman. But, you’re covered in horrendous tattoos and your exes flame you on TV every chance they get. Would you do it?”
It’s a question each of us must answer for himself.
