Thursday, August 2, 2018

Cardi B: I"m Literally Counting Down the Days "Til I Can Bang Offset Again!

Last month, Cardi B gave birth to her first child with Offset, just weeks after admitted that she had secretly married him.


Though Cardi is recovering from childbirth, she is being very vocal on social media about her eagerness to have sex with her husband again.


Folks, this is what we call being horny on main.



Cardi took to Twitter to highlight an image of her husband and baby daddy Offset.


Accompanying a photo of him wearing a cowboy hat, Cardi writes: “Hey cowboy, I want to take a ride on your horse.”


Fun fact: she is speaking almost entirely in flirty euphemism, a fact not lost on her followers.


One wrote back, suggesting that she should wait before sex: “You probably still gotta finish healing first.”


That commenter was right! Childbirth is wonderful but the reality of it is pretty horrifying and takes its toll on the body.


Cardi knows that and acknowledges that her follower was right … but her reply didn’t end there.



Cardi B knows that she needs to wait until her body heals before she bangs Offset again.


Not only that, she knows exactly how long.


Cardi’s reply: “3 weeks and 4 days!”


“Yes b–ch,” Cardi writes. “I’m counting ,wassup!”


Good for her for knowing what she wants and for owning her sexuality.






This was only part of Cardi’s interactions with fans.


One fan replied: “This pic made Cardi say YEEEHAWWW!”


Cardi quotes that tweet with a series of tearful laughing emojis.


Another commented: “Baby #2?”


Cardi adamantly replied: “Ummmmm NO.”


One new baby in the house is enough.



Another fan had a similar thought, writing: “Cardi about to make baby #2”


“Can ya stop saying that?!” Cardi asked. “If I get pregnant again imma curse ya out !!!”


That’s fair.


“Don’t you want a brother or a sister for Kulture?” one nosy fan asked.


“She got 3 already!” Cardi reminds fans. “Later on in life I’ll have more babies “



Cardi wrote about the baby she already has.


“My baby shleep,” Cardi shared with fans. “Should i go to my basement and do a verse for TASTE?”


She also commented on little changes she’d made now that she is a mother.


“Ok so if you noticed i changed my nail shape from pointy to square so i won’t hurt my baby,” Cardi tweeted.


That is very thoughtful!


“I’m thinking about only changing my pinky nail shape back to pointy,” Cardi wrote. “So i can take my babies little boogers out.”


A little graphic. Also, they make tools for that.



Cardi makes some interesting tweets. One of her most recent was:


“I don’t know if b–ches wanna fight me or eat my p–sy?” Cardi writes. “Both?!”


She continued: “I’m with it when it comes to both.”


Honestly, Cardi is such a delight. She’s a little wild — no, a lot wild — but she’s clearly devoted to her new role as a mother and is even changing her lifestyle to suit her baby’s needs.


Of course, since Offset was arrested on gun charges while violating his parole, some fear that Cardi may recover from childbirth … only to lose Offset to prison.


But that’s what conjugal visits are for.



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