Friday, August 31, 2018

Azealia Banks to Elon Musk: Sorry! You"re Not Really a Balding Drug Addict!

One of the most amusing gossip items of August had to do with the highly unexpected feud between Azealia Banks and Elon Musk.


In case you’re unfamiliar with those names, they perfectly represent the two main archetypes of American egomania:






Banks is the gifted artist whose rage over the fact that she still has to ride the subway like a plebe has driven her to repeatedly sabotage her own career.


Conversely, Musk is quite successful financially but is consistently driven mad over the world’s unwillingness to recognize him as the heir to Einstein, Edison, Henry Ford, and Jesus H. Christ.


In other words, they may not seem to have much in common — Banks is a self-made creative, whereas Mush is a left-brain cyborg who could’ve spent his entire life blowing his family’s emerald mine fortune.


But at the end of the day, Banks and Musk are just two sides of the same narcissistic coin.



Perhaps that’s why they clashed upon first meeting, then later realized they were destined to join forces.


Allow us to explain:


Earlier this month, NYC-based Banks spent some time in LA with the intention of collaborating on a song with Musk’s girlfriend, Grimes.


So she paid a visit to Musk’s sprawling mansion and found it to have less of a “Tony Stark” vibe and more of an “Allison Williams’ parent’s house in Get Out” feel.



In addition to comparing her experience to Jordan Peele’s horror classic, Banks says she witnessed a wealth of appallingly self-destructive behavior from both Musk and Grimes.


Banks referred to Musk as a “giant d–k” and a “beta male who took steroids and hair plugs to convince himself he’s alpha.”


She also accused Musk of conducting business while tripping on LSD, and Grimes of being a meth addict.


She later alleged that Musk had stolen her phone so that he could “delete evidence” of their encounter.



Needless to say, after all that it was quite a surprise to see that Banks had issued a public apology to Musk:


“I feel terrible about everything,” reads the now-deleted open letter that was posted to Banks’ Instagram page.


“Over the time spent liaising said collaborations [with Grimes], I was welcomed to a lot of personal information about you,” Banks wrote.


“The stuff made me feel awkward and uncomfortable about being privy to you, yet I never had the intentions of ever using the information against you.



She added:


“What started off as a cat-fight lead to some seriously unexpected consequences and I seriously apologize.”


Interestingly, Banks’ refused to use Grimes name throughout the letter, referring to her would-be collaborator only with a pair of empty quotation marks.


After posting the letter, Banks deleted her Instagram account, but now appears to have re-instated her account.


We’ll continue to monitor this weird-ass situation and let you know if it gets any weirder.



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