Harambe, The Ape. The myth. The legend. The president?
Okay, not quite on that last one, but thousands of Americans thought the Cincinnati Zoo resident turned deceased meme would make a great commander-in-chief.
Or they just thought it would be funny to write his name on their ballot. Either way…
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA!!!
The Founding Fathers gave you a republic and you take the time to actually show up to your polling place only to try and resurrect a dead-ass meme?!
Look, we miss ‘Be (pronounced “bae”) as much as anyone, but can that meme go the way of Ken Bone already?
Granted ‘Be-‘Be (pronounced “bae-bae”) never said anything about Jennifer Lawrence’s butthole on Reddit, but he still probably wouldn’t be the greatest president.
Better than the guy we just elected, obviously, but at best, he would fall near the Franklin Pierce, Warren G. Harding side of the presidential-quality spectrum.
Though it would send a powerful message, flinging your own poop is just not an appropriate response to disagreeing with a visiting foreign leader.
Now is it an appropriate response to a White House tour waking you up from your nap.
Though it’s better than tackling the slowest runner and ripping their face off, which is another course of action President Harambe might pursue.
In case this is your first day dabbling with this Internet thing, Harambe is the gorilla who was killed when a child fell into his enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo.
Since then, he’s been elevated to the status of social media god.
Harambe memes are still a thing six months after he died.
That’s approximately 4 millennia in meme years.
Today, it’s being reported that an estimated 11,000 Americans wrote Harambe in as their vote for president.
Many are slamming these citizens for wasting their votes.
But let’s face it, 11,000 votes wouldn’t have swayed the election, and we would’ve ended up with a game show host as president no matter who those people cast their ballots for.
Come to think of it, a reality star president was always our destiny.
We may have just reached #PeakAmerica.
A social media flash-in-the-pan is the only way to go down from here, but don’t force it.
It’ll happen, America. It’ll happen.