Ariana Grande to Pete Davidson: Wrote You a New Song, Loser!

Why has everything with Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson always happened so fast?!

Their engagement, their breakup, the backlash from the breakup …

It’s like everything has been happening in warp speed.

Do they exist in some slightly different universe in which time moves at a different pace?

Does being young and famous really make you wild and free enough to feel comfortable getting engaged to someone after a few seconds of dating?

It’s hard to say what exactly has been going on, but boy, it sure has been a lot.

As we all remember, Ariana and Pete got engaged in June after a few weeks of dating.

They moved in together, they got tattoos together … like we said, it’s been a lot.

Things seemed to be going great for them for a while, but last month, they suddenly split.

At first, reports claimed that nothing major had happened between them, that they simply realized the timing wasn’t right.

One would also imagine that the death of Mac Miller was so hard on Ariana that it must have been tough on their relationship.

So it was a sort of amicable, “maybe we’ll get back together someday” kind of breakup, right?

Yeah, not so much.

Things took a swift turn a few days ago when Pete made a joke about Ariana in a Saturday Night Live promo.

Pete Davidson Jokes About Ariana Grande Breakup

Well, sort of — in the promo, he proposed to the musical guest of the week, Maggie Rogers, because he moves so fast in relationships, get it?

It didn’t seem like a dig at her at all, but still, she wasn’t too happy to hear about it.

“For somebody who claims to hate relevancy u sure love clinging to it huh,” she tweeted after seeing the clip.

She followed that up with “Thank u, next,” which is already becoming iconic …

BECAUSE THAT’S THE NAME OF HER NEW SONG AND ALBUM!

Yep, Ariana just released her last album, Sweetener, in August, but she’s already working on her next one, which, as we said, will be titled Thank U, Next.

And last night, just a few minutes before Saturday Night Live began airing, she released the title track.

The shade, right?!

In the very first verse, she name drops four of her exes, including Pete, because the girl is simply not holding back.

Let’s just check it out in all its glory, OK? Here goes:

Thought I’d end up with Sean / But he wasn’t a match

Wrote some songs about Ricky / Now I listen and laugh

Even almost got married / And for Pete, I’m so thankful

Wish I could say “Thank you” to Malcolm / ‘Cause he was an angel

She sang that one of those exes “taught me love,” one “taught me patience,” and another “taught me pain.”

If she’s going in order, she means that Big Sean taught her love, Ricky Alvarez taught her patience, and Pete taught her pain.

She could mean something different, of course, and it’s definitely possible that Mac Miller was the one who taught her pain, considering his heartbreaking addiction and subsequent death.

But what’s neat about this song is that it isn’t a diss track at all.

As she explains it in the lyrics, “I’ve loved and I’ve lost, but that’s not what I see / So look what I got, look what you taught me.”

In the chorus, she sings “I’m so f-cking grateful for my ex,” which is really the whole vibe of this song.

Well, that, and getting into another relationship now — this time, one with herself.

After releasing the song, she hopped back on Twitter to discuss things with her fans, because she’s a doll like that.

View Slideshow: Ariana Grande vs. Pete Davidson: Whose Side Should You Take In This Ugly Breakup?

According to her, this song contains “no drags…. no shade….. just love, gratitude, acceptance, honesty, forgiveness … and growth.”

We can’t wait to see what’s next from her!

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War Machine Wrote to Pen Pal Fiancee "I Wish I Could Die For You"

War Machine’s got a way with words … more than enough to make his pen pal-turned-fiancee swoon. TMZ’s obtained a letter the former UFC star wrote to Ashley Farrington … the woman he proposed to by reading her a poem back in February. As we first…

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Aubrey O"Day Had an Affair with Donald Trump Jr. (And Wrote a Song About It!)

Aubrey O’Day is the name of a quasi famous singer and reality star.

Based on a couple new bombshell reports, however, we can make the following joke:

For Donald Trump Jr., it’s more like: Aubrey Ohhhh, Ohhh, Ohhh… YAY!

Indeed, readers, the oldest son of Donald Trump allegedly carried on an affair with O’Day back in 2011, back when he was very much married to Vanessa Trump.

The pair met on the set of Celebrity Apprentice Season 5 in 2011, according to both Us Weekly and The New York Post.

“Things started up with Aubrey and Don Jr. toward the end of the taping,” a source close to artist tells Us Weekly.

This same source says that O’Day and Trump slept together from the end of 2011 until March of the following year.

News of this alleged romance comes just days after Vanessa Trump filed to divorce her sketchy husband.

(The couple shares five kids together – and, if this timeline is accurate, Vanessa was pregnant with son Tristan at the time of her husband’s affair.)

Trump worked as an advisor on this season of Celebrity Apprentice and reportedly told O’Day at the time that his “marriage was already in the process of dissolving,” per Page Six.

The newspaper even writes that Trump Jr. told Vanessa years ago that he planned on leaving her for O’Day.

Was the fling truly that serious? We can’t say for certain.

Why did it come to an end?

Trump Sr. supposedly stepped in when he heard about the relationship with O’Day and told his son to “knock it off.”

Adds the Us Weekly insider:

“He told [Aubrey] it was over with his wife, that they were separated and he didn’t love her – all of that stufd… Aubrey fell for him hard. She thought they were going to be together for real.”

Both the aforementioned magazine and tabloid are citing anonymous sources.

Both seem confident in their reporting, but neither story can be fully verified.

HOWEVER, consider two more pieces of possible affair evidence:

First, O’Day Tweeted on n election night in 2016 that she has a “story” she could tell in connection to the new President that would be “worth millions now.”

Second, O’Day actually released a song in 2013 titled “DJT.”

(You can figure out who has those initials, right? Exactly.)

The track features a phone conversation between O’Day and some unnamed guy, with her asking him at first:

“You want to believe that everything with me was a lie? A fantasy?”

He replies: “I’ll always want you and always wonder about it, but it doesn’t matter because I have to stay here.”

You may go ahead and draw your own conclusions from this song title and these lyrics.

Over this past weekend, direct messages between Trump Jr. and a model were also leaked online, during which Trump pretty obviously flirted with the model and also expressed an extreme affection for bacon.

These exchanges also took place in 2011 when Donald was married to Vanessa.

O’Day went on to date Jersey Shore star Pauly D for awhile, who is maybe the true victim in this case because if the reports are true, it would mean he got Donald Trump Jr’s sloppy seconds.

Yuck.

The stars are pictured together here:

Wrote Donald and Vanessa in a joint statement last Friday:

“After 12 years of marriage, we have decided to go our separate ways.

“We will always have tremendous respect for each other and our families. We have five beautiful children together and they remain our top priority.

“We ask for your privacy during this time.”

Such a request is understandable to ask for, but unlikely to be heeded … considering Donald’s father is the most famous and most despicable man in America.

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Abby Wambach: "Idiots" Stole My Car, Wrote Hate Speech

Soccer legend Abby Wambach says she’s the victim of a hate crime — claiming some “idiots” stole her car for a joy ride … and then returned it with hate speech scribbled all over the inside.  “They stole valuables including a purse and…

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Maksim Chmerkovskiy Just Wrote the Sweetest Note to Vanessa Lachey

It looks like we can put rumors of a Dancing with the Stars feud to rest.

Last Monday night, after Maksim Chmerkovskiy skipped out on an episode of this popular ABC competition, multiple outlets reported that he and partner Vanessa Lachey do not get along.

But that’s putting it mildly.

They pretty much hate each other and are “miserable,” an insider told Us Weekly, citing dueling stubborn and strong personalities as the basis for this alleged beef.

But Chmerkovskiy quickly tried to quell such chatter, issuing an apology to Lachey for his absence and saying he was psyched to make a return this past Monday night.

And return he did!

Vanessa and Maksim performed an strong Rumba that earned then 24 out of a possible 30 points.

You can watch this routine in full via the video at the top of the post.

Equally as impressive as the performance, however, was the raw honesty showed by Lachey.

In the pre-taped video package that aired before she took the floor, Lachey explained how she nearly died after giving birth at just 29 weeks to her son in December.

After little Phoenix entered the world, Lachey told viewers that she was rushed in to emergency surgery.

“I was on the operating bed and I looked up and I didn’t know a single face and I remembered thinking I hope the baby’s okay and don’t worry about me. Just make him okay,” she said on air, fighting back tears.

Chmerkovskiy listened closely to this harrowing account during the installment.

And now he’d like to share a few thoughts he has about his partner.

“Everything I ever want for my partners is literally what @vanessalachey has brought to the dance floor last night. Raw, unapologetic, real emotion expressed through a beautiful dance,” Chmerkovskiy Tweeted.

Very handsome and considered a strong stud muffin, Maksim also admitted that Lachey’s story tugged at his heartstrings.

Hard.

“Yesterday also marked the first time when I completely lost it right before the dance… I rarely cry but this was something different, something I’ve yet to experience watching someone else’s story,” he wrote, addressing Vanessa and adding:

“”I’m proud of you partner! They can say what they want but you’re a star and I wouldn’t want to be on this rollercoaster with anyone but you!

“And we have so many more of these moments to share with each other, and everyone else who couldn’t stop their tears…#teamBabiesAndBallroom #DWTS #NeverADullMoment.”

We love it.

We hope to continue seeing Lachey and Chmerkovskiy on the dance floor for many weeks to come.

They’re our new favorites this season!

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Steve Harvey: Yes, I Wrote That Memo! No, I"m Not Sorry!

Look out, Mariah Carey.

Steve Harvey is coming for your title of Biggest and Most Annoying Diva in the History of Hollywood.

Earlier this week, a letter allegedly written by the talk show host to his employees surfaced online.

In the memo, which was likely leaked by a disgruntled ex-employee, Harvey asks for total and complete privacy from his underlings.

It was sent prior to Season 5 of Harvey’s talk show and it asks for staff members to “adhere” to such rules as:

Do not come to my dressing room unless invited.

Do open my dressing room door.

Do not wait in the hallway to speak to me.

Do not attempt to walk with me.

Harvey really could have saved himself a lot of time and effort if he had simply written “STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!” instead.

Take a look at the controversial memo below:

Was it really written and passed along by Harvey?

Yes, the comedian himself verified as much in a follow-up discussion with Entertainment Tonight on Thursday.

“I could not find a way to walk from the stage to my dressing room, to sit in my makeup chair, to walk from my dressing room to the stage or to just sit and have lunch without somebody just walking in,” Harvey explained to ET, adding:

“I’ve always had a policy where, you know, you can come and talk to me – so many people are great around here, but some of them just started taking advantage of it.”

Harvey went on to say that people on his staff would dare to bring friends to set and they would then dare to ask for autographs or not knock when entering his personal space.

And he just couldn’t handle it any longer.

“In hindsight, I probably should’ve handled it a little bit differently,” Harvey admits, adding that he wanted to email “asking everyone to simply honor and respect” his privacy.

“I just didn’t want to be in this prison anymore where I had to be in this little room, scared to go out and take a breath of fresh air without somebody approaching me, so I wrote the letter,” he concluded.

“I don’t apologize about the letter, but it’s kind of crazy what people who took this thing and ran, man.”

It’s also kind of crazy to compare fame to a prison and to say you were “scared” to walk around the set of your own talk show.

Just shut up, loser.

Harvey, who also hosts Family Feud and Little Big Shots, will be moving his talk show to Los Angeles for the new season this fall.

We hope no one watches it.

This guy sucks.

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White House Fence Jumper Says He Wrote the Trump-Russia Dossier (VIDEO)

The man who jumped the White House fence and remained undetected for almost 20 minutes last weekend says he’s the author of the unsubstantiated Trump-Russia dossier. Jonathan Tuan-Anh Tran posted a video on his YouTube channel earlier…

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Lindsay Lohan Wrote a Poem to ISIS Because of Course She Did

Ya know, if we’d been forced to guess a theme for 2017, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been “orange semi-literate throwbacks to bygone decades undermining our national security goals,” and yet, here we are.

First, Donald Trump chooses to take the word of a guy who’s spent the past three years living in the UK’s Ecuadorian embassy over the findings of 17 intelligence agencies.

Now, Lindsay Lohan is jumping into the geopolitical fray as only she can:

As an ISIS-sympathizing poet and possible Turkish spy!

The first indication that LiLo’s Manchurian Candidate chip has been activated came when she basically pledged her loyalty to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in a bizarre television interview.

When she started talking in a bizarre fake accent, we knew there was more in store.

Now, Lindsay’s transformation into the Austin Powers to Angelina Jolie’s James Bond is complete, thanks to this weird ass poem to ISIS that she posted to Instagram today:

The line that everyone has been seizing on today (and with good reason), is the one about “idle ISIS minds.”

For one thing, now that Lindsay Lohan has called ISIS lazy you may want to keep a good several-hundred mile distance from her for the rest of her days, as she’s now a marked woman for life.

We’re guessing someone warned her about that, and she thought they were talking about freckles.

Lindsay says she wants to “fix” ISIS which sounds like the worst idea ever, but we say give her a shot.

In all likelihood, the mission would result in her first film role that would actually be seen by a wide audience in over a decade.

Yes, that was a beheading joke.

We were under the impression that Trump had buried anything that could be described as PC in a shallow grave next to the Bill of Rights.

Oh, that’s not til Jan 20?

Our mistake!

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

We’ll have further updates on this story, including Lindsay’s inevitable pro-ISIS statement at gunpoint, which she be uploaded some time in the next 48 hours.

Their crucial mistake was believing she could act. 

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"American Idol" Bankruptcy -- I Wrote "No Air" But Got No Cash ... Now Pay Me!

“American Idol” producers are a sleazy, money-hogging bunch who made MILLIONS off the back of one songwriter who never got her cut … so claims the lady in new legal docs. A woman named Molasses Jones claims she wrote Jordin Sparks’ “No Air” but…

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Harambe For President: Thousands Wrote In Dead Gorilla"s Name on Ballots

Harambe, The Ape. The myth. The legend. The president?

Okay, not quite on that last one, but thousands of Americans thought the Cincinnati Zoo resident turned deceased meme would make a great commander-in-chief.

Or they just thought it would be funny to write his name on their ballot. Either way…

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA!!!

The Founding Fathers gave you a republic and you take the time to actually show up to your polling place only to try and resurrect a dead-ass meme?!

Look, we miss ‘Be (pronounced “bae”) as much as anyone, but can that meme go the way of Ken Bone already?

Granted ‘Be-‘Be (pronounced “bae-bae”) never said anything about Jennifer Lawrence’s butthole on Reddit, but he still probably wouldn’t be the greatest president.

Better than the guy we just elected, obviously, but at best, he would fall near the Franklin Pierce, Warren G. Harding side of the presidential-quality spectrum.

Though it would send a powerful message, flinging your own poop is just not an appropriate response to disagreeing with a visiting foreign leader.

Now is it an appropriate response to a White House tour waking you up from your nap.

Though it’s better than tackling the slowest runner and ripping their face off, which is another course of action President Harambe might pursue.

In case this is your first day dabbling with this Internet thing, Harambe is the gorilla who was killed when a child fell into his enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo.

Since then, he’s been elevated to the status of social media god.

Harambe memes are still a thing six months after he died.

That’s approximately 4 millennia in meme years.

Today, it’s being reported that an estimated 11,000 Americans wrote Harambe in as their vote for president.

Many are slamming these citizens for wasting their votes.

But let’s face it, 11,000 votes wouldn’t have swayed the election, and we would’ve ended up with a game show host as president no matter who those people cast their ballots for.

Come to think of it, a reality star president was always our destiny.

We may have just reached #PeakAmerica.

View Slideshow: Harambe Mourned, Celebrated by Celebrities Everywhere

A social media flash-in-the-pan is the only way to go down from here, but don’t force it.

It’ll happen, America. It’ll happen.

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Kendra Wilkinson SLAMS Holly Madison: What She Wrote is Bullsh*t!!

We"ve known there"s been no love lost between the former co-stars of The Girls Next Door, but now Kendra Wilkinson is calling Holly Madison a straight up liar.

Last year, Madison penned a tell-all memoir, Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, in which she divulged details of an unsavory life in the Playboy Mansion – and the people in it.

Calling out one Playmate specifically, Madison called Wilkinson "the fakest person" she"s ever met and accused her of lying about receiving a key to the mansion from Hugh Hefner.

Now, in a promo for season five of Wilkinson"s reality show Kendra On Top, we see the star assert that Madison made it all up.

"What Holly wrote in that book is pure bullshit!" she says emphatically.

Madison is obviously trying to sway public opinion of her, says Wilkinson, as if the public ever thought highly of her in the first place.

Wilkinson has taken jabs at Madison in the past. In fact, she says the two were never really friends to begin with, they just "f**ked the same guy."

Well, that"s pretty straightforward.

But more importantly, public rivalries between pretty women turn heads, and Wilkinson wants as many eyeballs on her reality show as possible.

"This is f**king war!" Wilkinson exclaims by the end of the clip, a harbinger of something juicy to come.

If you want to watch how this drama plays out, Kendra On Top premieres on WE TV on Friday, April 1, at 9 p.m. EST.

Teresa Giudice Wrote A Book, Not Even Out Of Jail Yet

Her release from federal prison is scheduled for December 23rd, but Teresa Giudice is already promoting her memoir, Turning The Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again (Gallery Books).

The book’s release date is February 9th, 2016 comes about a month before Joe Giudice begins serving his 41-month sentence.

According to Radar Online, the press release for Giudice’s books promises a “behind-the-scenes look at life in prison, her marriage, her rise to fame, the importance of her family, and the reality TV franchise that made her a household name in her explosive and ultimately uplifting first-ever memoir.”

Giudice has kept a diary of her time in prison specifically for this reason.  Back in July, excerpts from her diary were featured in Us Weekly.

“It’s going to be about growing up from humble beginnings,” Giudice’s lawyer, James J. Leonard Jr., told the magazine about the memoir.

“She will also tell the story everyone is dying to know: what life is like behind bars.”

Giudice recorded everything about her time in prison, from the mundane (pilates, 9pm head count) to the slightly terrifying.

“There is a lady in here, she hit her roommate,” Giudice wrote in her diary.  

“The officers are up here now to evaluate the situation. She is a crazy lady who fights with everyone.”

Giudice promised fans a glimpse into the life she’s always led. 

“The world will see a new Teresa. A different Teresa.

Well, actually, the Teresa I always was.”

View Slideshow: 23 Teresa Giudice GIFs That Should Worry Her Fellow Inmates