Soko: Kristen Stewart Stole My Look!!!

Last week, Kristen Stewart and Soko broke up after just a few weeks of dating, and by all accounts, the relationship did not end on good terms.

Most of those accounts come from Soko herself, who publicly accused Kristen of cheating on more than one occasion.

Both women were at Cannes this week, and Kristen caused a stir amongst fashionistas by rocking a look that can only be described as “’80s mall vampire catches pink eye”:

Some would say it’s a look that only Kristen could pull off.

But not Soko. 

No, Soko would take the opportunity to remind us that in her pink-rimmed eyes, Kristen is pure lip-biting, hair-touching evil.

You see, Kristen claims that she is the originator of the infected raccoon-eye look, and K-Stew is totes biting her style:

Soko’s coming off as a bit batsh-t these days, but on this particular point, it’s hard to argue with the evidence. 

Here she is at a Cannes event earlier this week:

As you can see, Soko does appear to have rocked the look first, but hey, it’s not like she licensed it, right?

Something tells us her latest outburst has less to do with Kristen’s makeup and more to do with the fact that it appears Stewart is back together with Alicia Cargile, whom she dated just before Soko.

Yes, it seems that when it comes to her love life, Kristen is as cold-blooded as she is as she is…actually, being cold-blooded is kinda her signature trait, so we don’t really have a point of comparison.

Soko: Kristen Stewart Is a CHEATER!!!

Last week, Kristen Stewart and French singer Soko broke up after just a few weeks of dating. 

You’d think that after such a short time together, the split would’ve been fairly amicable.

However, that is very, very much not the case, as Soko went off on K-Stew on social media shortly after news of their split went public.

She started off by posting (and quickly deleting) a tweet that read simply, “CHEATER. F—king CHEATER.” 

Not exactly subtle stuff.

Sure, she didn’t mention Kristen by name, but it seems pretty clear that she’s talking about the person she just broke up with.

And if you somehow still missed the message, don’t worry – Soko went into even greater detail on Instagram:

“I will marry the strongest and most reliable of them all, one that doesn’t cheat, one that isn’t deceitful, one that is stable,” she wrote.

“One that is romantic and caring and loving and kind, a real person, one that will be on my team … one whose heart doesn’t disappoint and who knows how to live a good, healthy and simple life.”

Our hearts go out to Soko, but LOL at her hurling insults at Kristen as though the girl has human feelings.

At this very moment she’s probably chewing on her bottom lip, touching her hair, and making sex eyes at whoever’s directing her latest movie. (Don’t worry, she’s done shooting the Woody Allen flick. She’s too old for him, anyway.)

We kid, obviously.

In actuality, Stewart is oozing indifference in her new interview with Variety:

“I’m not hiding s–t. When I was dating a guy, I would never talk about my relationships,” she tells the mag. “I feel the same way now.

“Me not defining it right now is the whole basis of what I’m about. If you don’t get it, I don’t have time for you.”

Yeah, get with the times, people!

There’s more to Kristen than just lesbian relationships and Bella Swan!

Watch the Clouds of Sils Maria and get some culture for a change! It’s got Kristen in a thong and some heavily implied girl-on-girl action!

That’s not what we were supposed to take away from that interview, is it?

Kristen Stewart & Soko: It"s Officially Over!

Another celebrity couple bites the dust.

Although we’re not terribly broken up over this one, mostly because we didn’t have time to get invested in it.

Kristen Stewart has reportedly ended her relationship with French singer Soko, according to Us Weekly.

The two had only been together for a few months and were first spotted together packing on the PDA in March.

“They were obviously more than friends, Those two couldn’t keep their hands off each other,” claimed an eyewitness.

“At first, they were walking arm in arm, cuddling and holding hands. But then they started making out and at one point, Soko grabbed Kristen’s butt.”

While their romance was short-lived, it escalated quickly.

“I’m very, very, very in love and very happy in a relationship,” Soko told W magazine shortly after the couple were seen together.

We’re not sure how these two met or became involved, but we do know that they have one thing in common.

They both dated Robert Pattinson.

Soko admitted to going out with R-Pattz during an interview with a little-known music blog last year.

“Three nights in, I went out and met a girl who was like ‘Hey, I like your music, I work for a label and we would love to sign you,” she recalled, detailing her exciting first week in Los Angeles.

“That same night I had a blind date with Robert Pattinson!”

Side note: Robert Pattinson gets set up on blind dates?

That must’ve made for some fun late-night gab sessions between Kristen and Soko.

Breakup rumors started when Kristen was seen hanging out with model Stella Maxwell, Miley Cyrus’ ex, at an after-party the night of the Met Gala earlier this week.

However, a source close to Kristen says she and Stella are just friends.

These Hollywood dating circles, I tell you. It’s like one giant, beautiful yet exceedingly cruel high school.

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Soko: Kristen Stewart"s Girlfriend Dated Robert Pattinson?!

Earlier this month, we reported that Kristen Stewart is dating Soko, a female French singer whom Stewart apparently met shortly after her recent breakup with Alicia Cargile.

Of course, Kristen’s most famous breakup remains her very public split with Robert Pattinson, and now it looks as though because of that painful chapter in her past, she and Soko may have more in common than just their shared love of cigarettes and looking sullen.

Yes, it seems that during an interview with a random music blog last year, the singer revealed that she too once engaged in a romantic dalliance with the man they call R-Pattz:

“Three nights in, I went out and met a girl who was like ‘Hey, I like your music, I work for a label and we would love to sign you,” Soko said of her first week living in LA.

“Where are you staying, do you need a place to stay?’ and I was like ‘Yeah I do.’ That same night I had a blind date with Robert Pattinson!"”

Wow. Most people would probably lead with that last part.

Anyway, it may seem oddly coincidental that two women from different continents banged the same sparkly vampire before hooking up with one another, but Soko is French, and she takes an expectedly French view of sex, fate, and fashionable sulking:

“Sex for so long was such a taboo thing. You couldn’t be free with your sexuality and say that you like it. But it’s one of the biggest joys of life. If you find one partner who you love having sex with, it’s the best!” SoKo recenly told W magazine.

“This new generation is a lot more liquid with sexuality and it’s really refreshing.”

Sounds like these two have more in common than just their shared love for lower-lip biting.

We’re talking about Kristen’s signature mannerism! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Kristen Stewart: In a Lesbian Relationship With French Singer Soko?

Ever since she broke up with Robert Pattinson back in 2012, Kristen Stewart has enjoyed playing the field.

In fact, the 25-year-old has demonstrated some serious versatility, taking on both teams and (we assume) several different positions.

In April of 2014, Kristen began dating Alicia Cargile, her assistant-turned-friend-turned-friend-with-benefits-turned-girlfriend.

Earlier this year, there were even rumors that Kristen and Alicia had secretly gotten married.

Now, several sources are reporting that Kristen has entered a relationship with a 30-year-old French singer named Soko (above right).

According to Star magazine, Kristen and Soko (or “Kroko,” as we like to call them) are definitely an item and are not shy about laying on the PDA.

“They were obviously more than friends, Those two couldn’t keep their hands off each other,” says one source.

“At first, they were walking arm in arm, cuddling and holding hands. But then they started making out and at one point, Soko grabbed Kristen’s butt.”

Yes, they’ve already reached the public butt-grabbing stage. When Kristen can stop touching her hair long enough to grope someone, you know it’s serious.

Insiders say Kristen flew into Paris last night to visit Soko, who was spotted giving her flowers at the airport.

Stewart hasn’t confirmed that she’s in a relationship, but sources say she’s only been sulkily biting her bottom lip 99% of the time, as opposed to her usual 100. Just kidding, K-Stew!