Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Kylie Jenner: Put Tyga In The Khristmas Picture...Or Else

In the eyes of the law, Kylie Jenner might be an adult.  However, she’s still a teenager and when teenagers don’t get their way – especially in matters of the heart – they are prone to sh*t fits.



According to Celebrity Dirty Laundry, Jenner wants her boyfriend of one year, Tyga in the annual Kardashian Christmas card.  If her family refuses?  Jenner will choose to sit this year out.


In this tale, Kim Kardashian puts her foot down, citing the obvious fact that while Tyga may feel like family, he is not and they are just dating.  


Adding to this is a report that Rob Kardashian is demanding $ 250,000 to appear in the family photo.  


The sole Kardashian boy is allegedly working on his fitness and won’t give Kris Jenner a yes or no until the last moment.


If this report is true, I must take my hat off to Kim for being the voice of reason.  Who in their right mind would allow a teenager’s boyfriend or girlfriend to appear in a family Christmas photo?  


I don’t care how lovely he or she is, or how well he or she treats your sainted child.  Christmas photos should be family only.  


If you’ve got a baby daddy/baby mama involved, throw them in, too.


Happy Holidays, Kylie.  You may invite Tyga over to the house after Christmas dinner.


Game of Thrones Season Six Script Leaks Online, Reveals Fate of Daenerys

If you watch Game of Thrones online, but you’ve never read the George R.R. Martin novels on which the show is based, you might be pretty sick of book-readers ruining the plot twists the way Ramsay Bolton ruined Theon Greyjoy’s love life.


Fortunately, we have good news for bibliophobes and fans of dong-related humor, alike. A page from the GoT Season 6 has leaked online, and now you can be in command of all the spoilers (and dick jokes) by doing about one one-billionth of the reading.





Game of Thrones Script





Game of Thrones Script Close-Up



The image on the left was posted on social media by a French actor named Elie Haddad, who’s playing an undisclosed role in the upcoming season. 


The original tweet was quickly deleted, but since this is the Internet and GoT we’re talking about, fans immediately began zooming in on the pic to try and decipher the text.


While it doesn’t reveal the fate of Jon Snow or anything major like that, it does fill us in on where the Khaleesi wound up after being surrounded by Dothraki raiders in the season 5 finale. 


And as is pretty much always the case with GoT, there’s some peen talk, as well. According to our generation’s sharpest minds, the full text of the conversation (between two random Dothraki) is as follows:



“I like her.”


“She’s paler than milk.”


“I bet she gets nice and pink when you pinch her.”


“I’d like to know what a Khaleesi tastes like.”


“Good. You can suck my dick.”


And then, presumably, someone gets all pissed off and disembowels someone else, and a set of boobs wanders into the shot.


Like we said, it doesn’t reveal much, but it does seem to confirm that Dany was captured by the Dothraki in one of the final scenes of Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 10.


Will they recognize her as the widow of Khal Drogo? Will she be able to recruit them to join her ever-growing army of disgruntled badasses? Will there be more wang-based dialogue?


The answers are: we don’t know, we don’t know, and most definitely.


Finding Dory Trailer: An Unforgettable Adventure

Are you ready to get lost at sea again?


Pixar sure is.


About 13 years after audiences ate up Finding Nemo at the theater, the company is set to release Finding Dory, another animated adventure that centers on a lost fish, the same fish voiced by Ellen DeGeneres in the original smash hit film.


This time around, Nemo is the one who must go on a rescue mission, accompanying his forgetful friend as she goes off in search of her family.


At least she thinks that"s what she"s doing. Dory doesn"t exactly have the best memory in the world.


She doesn"t really have any memory at all, for that matter. Which is just one of the reasons why we love her so much.


DeGeneres will return as the voice of Dory in this sequel, while Diane Keaton, Albert Brooks, Idris Elba, Ty Burrell and Dominic West will also lend their voices to the film.


Finding Dory is scheduled to hit theaters on June 17, 2016 and its official tagline reads as follows:


The friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the true meaning of family along the way.


We can"t wait, especially considering what the trailer says about Finding Dory:


An unforgettable adventure she probably won"t remember.


We love it.


Finding dory trailer

Miranda Lambert: Ignores Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani; Celebrates Birthday

While her ex-husband is off banging Gwen Stefani, Miranda Lambert refused to let it get her down.


The newly single country singer said f—k it.  And she isn’t letting Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani’s romance stop her from enjoying her 32nd birthday.



On Monday, November 9, just a day before her birthday, Lambert and her friends enjoyed an afternoon of riding unicorns.


Yes, unicorns.  Horses wearing unicorn horns, that is.


Lambert posted a collage of happy pictures that suggest she is having a ton of fun despite the awkward Blake-Gwen drama.


“Never too old to ride a unicorn…,” the “Little Red Wagon” singer captioned the photos.


Lambert, who was wearing a casual baseball hat embellished with the word Love, added to the caption:


“And thank God for friends that spend the day with you painting your pony! #32tomorrow #bday #unicornsarereal #sophie #gypsyvanner #glitter #reallifelisafrank.”


Lambert and Shelton divorced in July.  Shortly after, Shelton rebounded with his Voice co-star Gwen Stefani. The couple just made their first appearance on the show as a couple.


Some sources claim Lambert thinks Blake was cheating with Gwen.  But it looks like Lambert really doesn’t give a sh*t.


Right now, life seems to be pretty good for Miranda Lambert.