If you watch Game of Thrones online, but you’ve never read the George R.R. Martin novels on which the show is based, you might be pretty sick of book-readers ruining the plot twists the way Ramsay Bolton ruined Theon Greyjoy’s love life.
Fortunately, we have good news for bibliophobes and fans of dong-related humor, alike. A page from the GoT Season 6 has leaked online, and now you can be in command of all the spoilers (and dick jokes) by doing about one one-billionth of the reading.
The image on the left was posted on social media by a French actor named Elie Haddad, who’s playing an undisclosed role in the upcoming season.
The original tweet was quickly deleted, but since this is the Internet and GoT we’re talking about, fans immediately began zooming in on the pic to try and decipher the text.
While it doesn’t reveal the fate of Jon Snow or anything major like that, it does fill us in on where the Khaleesi wound up after being surrounded by Dothraki raiders in the season 5 finale.
And as is pretty much always the case with GoT, there’s some peen talk, as well. According to our generation’s sharpest minds, the full text of the conversation (between two random Dothraki) is as follows:
“I like her.”
“She’s paler than milk.”
“I bet she gets nice and pink when you pinch her.”
“I’d like to know what a Khaleesi tastes like.”
“Good. You can suck my dick.”
And then, presumably, someone gets all pissed off and disembowels someone else, and a set of boobs wanders into the shot.
Like we said, it doesn’t reveal much, but it does seem to confirm that Dany was captured by the Dothraki in one of the final scenes of Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 10.
Will they recognize her as the widow of Khal Drogo? Will she be able to recruit them to join her ever-growing army of disgruntled badasses? Will there be more wang-based dialogue?
The answers are: we don’t know, we don’t know, and most definitely.