Kate Middleton: Queen Hands Over Crown To Pregnant Duchess?!

That is quite a waistline for someone carrying twins.

The Globe has it on good authority from “sources” that the Duchess of Cambridge is up the duff with not one, but two girls AND is taking over the throne from Queen Elizabeth.

What a time to be alive!

“Yes, Kate Middleton is pregnant again and Queen Elizabeth is thrilled and now feels it is safe to step away from the thrown [sic] and let William and Kate take over as King and Queen. Kate has won the crown from Camilla Parker-Bowles!” Celebrity Dirty Laundry reports.

Apparently Her Majesty thinks Camilla loves the sauce too much, and is just a wee bit too evil to rule alongside the monarch’s heir, Prince Charles.

The decision, according to sources, allows Her Majesty to keep “that drunk Camilla away from the throne.”

CDL is not a fan of the Duchess of Cornwall, and declared that “Charles and Camilla have been nothing but an embarrassment to the monarchy.

View Slideshow: Kate Middleton Suffers Upskirt, Remains Calm

“Camilla Parker-Bowles must be stumbling around Clarence House with a gin bottle ranting and raving over how unfair it is that Kate Middleton is Queen Elizabeth’s favorite.”

A definite sign that Catherine will soon be queen?

Her first appearance ever at Royal Ascot, according to the source.

This is the Queen’s way of sending a “clear message to Prince Charles and his evil wife Camilla that they are OUT!”

The cover of the Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Elizabeth (complete with a gold sticker!) has me less worried about the headline than the Photoshopped image of Catherine.

Her head (on which the George IV diadem sits, which only the Queen wears) has been superimposed onto a photo of Her Majesty at the 1966 State Opening of Parliament.

The image of Catherine’s face comes from an April 2013 engagement at The National Portrait Gallery.

Though William and Catherine have reportedly told friends in the past that they are aiming for three children, there is no confirmation right now that she’s pregnant with twins.

Also, she recently wore a very sexy, very clingy dress out in public, and there was no swelling in the torso area, sooooooooo.

Kate Middleton: Queen Hands Over Crown To Pregnant Duchess?!

That is quite a waistline for someone carrying twins.

The Globe has it on good authority from “sources” that the Duchess of Cambridge is up the duff with not one, but two girls AND is taking over the throne from Queen Elizabeth.

What a time to be alive!

“Yes, Kate Middleton is pregnant again and Queen Elizabeth is thrilled and now feels it is safe to step away from the thrown [sic] and let William and Kate take over as King and Queen. Kate has won the crown from Camilla Parker-Bowles!” Celebrity Dirty Laundry reports.

Apparently Her Majesty thinks Camilla loves the sauce too much, and is just a wee bit too evil to rule alongside the monarch’s heir, Prince Charles.

The decision, according to sources, allows Her Majesty to keep “that drunk Camilla away from the throne.”

CDL is not a fan of the Duchess of Cornwall, and declared that “Charles and Camilla have been nothing but an embarrassment to the monarchy.

View Slideshow: Kate Middleton Suffers Upskirt, Remains Calm

“Camilla Parker-Bowles must be stumbling around Clarence House with a gin bottle ranting and raving over how unfair it is that Kate Middleton is Queen Elizabeth’s favorite.”

A definite sign that Catherine will soon be queen?

Her first appearance ever at Royal Ascot, according to the source.

This is the Queen’s way of sending a “clear message to Prince Charles and his evil wife Camilla that they are OUT!”

The cover of the Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Elizabeth (complete with a gold sticker!) has me less worried about the headline than the Photoshopped image of Catherine.

Her head (on which the George IV diadem sits, which only the Queen wears) has been superimposed onto a photo of Her Majesty at the 1966 State Opening of Parliament.

The image of Catherine’s face comes from an April 2013 engagement at The National Portrait Gallery.

Though William and Catherine have reportedly told friends in the past that they are aiming for three children, there is no confirmation right now that she’s pregnant with twins.

Also, she recently wore a very sexy, very clingy dress out in public, and there was no swelling in the torso area, sooooooooo.

Malia Obama: Drinking and Partying Overseas?!

Barack Obama’s second term as President of the United States is soon to come to an end.

This being 2016, it stands to reason that he couldn’t leave office without one more trumped-up mini-scandal.

On July 4, Barry and Michelle’s eldest daughter, Malia Obama, turned 18.

(Yes, she was born on the Fourth of July. Haters will say her dad busted out his birth certificate editing app.)

While it’s hard to picture anything more American than a president’s daughter entering adulthood on the anniversary this great nation, Malia reportedly waited until she was overseas to take advantage of her new freedom.

Sources say the first daughter was recently in Amsterdam, aka the Vegas of the European Union, while en route to Africa to raise awareness for the Let Girls Learn Initiative with her mother and sister.

The trip has given us a nothing burger controversy that may rank amongst the most bogus of the entire Obama administration.

No, it’s not as ridiculous as the claims that Michelle had Joan Rivers murdered, but it’s still pretty ridiculous.

Fittingly, it comes to us courtesy of a drunken Dutch DJ named Youri Roest.

According to Roest’s hazy recollection, Malia and some of her friends partied at a club called The Sugar Factory during their time in the Dutch party capital.

“She’s a superb dancer, much like her father,” Roest recently told Radar Online. “She was very flexible, she has good hips.

Roest followed that random and not-at-all-creepy observation with an account of how Malia totes got hammered and hit on him … he thinks:

“She’s a very cute girl and she was flirting heavily,” he told the website.

“But then I got too drunk and had to perform somewhere else. So I guess I kind of forgot about her, which I feel very sorry about right now.

“Everybody got drunk really fast. I have to admit even I got pretty tipsy later on, but I remember giving one of those girls a glass filled with pure vodka.”

So Malia entered a club and … some stuff happened. Maybe. Everybody was so hammered, ya know?!

Hey, sometimes totally legitimate, worthwhile news stories just happen to sound like your college roommate’s account of his weekend!

View Slideshow: Barack Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner: His Best Jokes!

Watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians Online: Iced Out

Did you catch Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 12 Episode 10?

If not, have no fear. We’ve got you covered!

Watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 12 Episode 10 Online

On this installment of the E! hit, Kim Kardashian spread herself way too thin when she traveled to Iceland with Kanye Wst for a music video shoot and was joined there by KourtneyKardashian… who was celebrating her birthday weekend.

Elsewhere during the episode,, Scott thought surprising his ex in that foreign land and Lamar played peacemaker with Khloé and Rob.

Did he succeed? On what sort of note did the episode end?

Click on the above video to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashian online and find out now!