Monday, July 11, 2016

Kate Middleton: Queen Hands Over Crown To Pregnant Duchess?!

That is quite a waistline for someone carrying twins.



The Globe has it on good authority from “sources” that the Duchess of Cambridge is up the duff with not one, but two girls AND is taking over the throne from Queen Elizabeth.


What a time to be alive!


“Yes, Kate Middleton is pregnant again and Queen Elizabeth is thrilled and now feels it is safe to step away from the thrown [sic] and let William and Kate take over as King and Queen. Kate has won the crown from Camilla Parker-Bowles!” Celebrity Dirty Laundry reports.


Apparently Her Majesty thinks Camilla loves the sauce too much, and is just a wee bit too evil to rule alongside the monarch’s heir, Prince Charles.


The decision, according to sources, allows Her Majesty to keep “that drunk Camilla away from the throne.”


CDL is not a fan of the Duchess of Cornwall, and declared that “Charles and Camilla have been nothing but an embarrassment to the monarchy.



“Camilla Parker-Bowles must be stumbling around Clarence House with a gin bottle ranting and raving over how unfair it is that Kate Middleton is Queen Elizabeth’s favorite.”


A definite sign that Catherine will soon be queen?


Her first appearance ever at Royal Ascot, according to the source.


This is the Queen’s way of sending a “clear message to Prince Charles and his evil wife Camilla that they are OUT!”


The cover of the Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Elizabeth (complete with a gold sticker!) has me less worried about the headline than the Photoshopped image of Catherine.


Her head (on which the George IV diadem sits, which only the Queen wears) has been superimposed onto a photo of Her Majesty at the 1966 State Opening of Parliament.



The image of Catherine’s face comes from an April 2013 engagement at The National Portrait Gallery.


Though William and Catherine have reportedly told friends in the past that they are aiming for three children, there is no confirmation right now that she’s pregnant with twins.


Also, she recently wore a very sexy, very clingy dress out in public, and there was no swelling in the torso area, sooooooooo.