Florida Man Arrested, Uses Most NSFW Alias EVER

Jeffrey Forrest Poole is a character. He lives in Largo, Florida, just west of Tampa, and he has quite the sense of humor when it comes to the law.

According to Huffington Post, Poole was arrested on Sunday after police were called to him home on reports of domestic disturbance.

Police then cuffed (and later charged) the 37-year-old for violently resisting arrest.  He yelled that he “will beat every cop’s ass” as he was taken out of the house.

The arresting police officer recorded later that Poole “raised his right fist and began to extend it towards my face in an attempt to strike me.”

Brobible.com reports that when authorities were filling out paperwork for the arrest, they asked Poole if he had any “alias” or a record under file.

Indeed he does!  

Poole confirmed the use of “Dickface Johnson,” which showed up front-and-center on his past records.

View Slideshow: Florida Woman: Strange But True Stories

Poole is still in jail after failing to post bail for $ 5,150.

The world is a cruel place right now, so I will take any and all opportunity to laugh at stories like this.  

Using a name like ‘Dickface Johnson” as part of your criminal profile is classic.  It says “I can laugh at myself” but it also serves as a middle finger to authorities, which I think Poole was able to get across to police officers.

There is no word on who called the police on DFJ or why, but it’s safe to assume that he was raising all sorts of hell that make him a true “Dickface Johnson.” 

DFJ will likely not be able to “beat every cop’s ass” for the forseeable future, since he hasn’t yet made bail.  

Ah, Florida.  As Jack Donaghy and Tracy Morgan once said, you are the true “penis of America.”

And Dickface Johnson is your mayor.

View Slideshow: Florida Man: Strange Sunshine State Stories

Keshia Knight Pulliam: Husband Files for Divorce, Demands Paternity Test

Just in case that whole Bill Cosby rape thing hasn’t soiled your memories of The Cosby Show enough…

Just days after Keshia Knight Pulliam announced to the world that she is pregnant, the actress most famous for playing Rudy Huxtable has been hit with a bombshell:

Her husband wants a divorce.

Oh, and a paternity test.

YIKES.

Ed Hartwell, a 38-year old former NFL player, has filed for divorce from The Cosby Show alum a mere six months after the couple got married, according to a rep for Pulliam.

But that’s not all:

The legal papers were submitted to Georgia’s Fulton County Superior Court this week … and they include a demand that Pulliam undergo a paternity test.

WHOA THERE.

We’re just speculating here, but it sounds very much as if Hartwell suspects the actress of cheating on him, doesn’t it?

The shocking development arrives just one week after Pulliam, announced that she is expecting a child.

The star broke the news in an Instagram post, writing: “Surprise!! We have a new addition coming soon …”

She included the following picture with this cute announcement:

But now things have turned very ugly between Pulliam and Hartwell.

Hartwell – familiar to fans of The Real Housewives of Atlanta for his appearances in 2008 – got engaged to Pulliam on New Year’s Eve.

The actress gushed about the news in an Instagram post that read as follows:

“Happy to spend not only my new year but my life with this guy!!! #BlessedBeyondMeasure.”

The two tied then exchanged vows in an intimate wedding at the actress’ home, she said on her podcast Kandidly Keshia earlier this year.

“It was my dream,” she explained at the time. “We did it literally in our living room in our home .… We invited people. They had no clue they were coming to a wedding.” 

And we had no clue someone who came into our lives in such an adorable manner would end up in this kind of scandal.

Just look at Pulliam as Rudy!

How times sadly change.

Keshia Knight Pulliam: Husband Files for Divorce, Demands Paternity Test

Just in case that whole Bill Cosby rape thing hasn’t soiled your memories of The Cosby Show enough…

Just days after Keshia Knight Pulliam announced to the world that she is pregnant, the actress most famous for playing Rudy Huxtable has been hit with a bombshell:

Her husband wants a divorce.

Oh, and a paternity test.

YIKES.

Ed Hartwell, a 38-year old former NFL player, has filed for divorce from The Cosby Show alum a mere six months after the couple got married, according to a rep for Pulliam.

But that’s not all:

The legal papers were submitted to Georgia’s Fulton County Superior Court this week … and they include a demand that Pulliam undergo a paternity test.

WHOA THERE.

We’re just speculating here, but it sounds very much as if Hartwell suspects the actress of cheating on him, doesn’t it?

The shocking development arrives just one week after Pulliam, announced that she is expecting a child.

The star broke the news in an Instagram post, writing: “Surprise!! We have a new addition coming soon …”

She included the following picture with this cute announcement:

But now things have turned very ugly between Pulliam and Hartwell.

Hartwell – familiar to fans of The Real Housewives of Atlanta for his appearances in 2008 – got engaged to Pulliam on New Year’s Eve.

The actress gushed about the news in an Instagram post that read as follows:

“Happy to spend not only my new year but my life with this guy!!! #BlessedBeyondMeasure.”

The two tied then exchanged vows in an intimate wedding at the actress’ home, she said on her podcast Kandidly Keshia earlier this year.

“It was my dream,” she explained at the time. “We did it literally in our living room in our home .… We invited people. They had no clue they were coming to a wedding.” 

And we had no clue someone who came into our lives in such an adorable manner would end up in this kind of scandal.

Just look at Pulliam as Rudy!

How times sadly change.

Jon Gosselin on Kate Gosselin: Our Relationship SUCKS!!!

If scrolling through Facebook has begun to damage your self-esteem because you feel like all of your friends are doing better than you, take heart:

Jon Gosselin is back in the news, and his life would make anyone’s look good by comparison.

Last week, we learned that Gosselin was working at T.G.I. Friday’s.

The very next day, we learned that Gosselin had quit his job at Friday’s over his belief that boneless Buffalo wings are a crime against nature.

Just kidding, his real reason was even more ridiculous:

“I’m not going to work there anymore because now the trust and the teamwork is gone,” Gosselin said in an interview after TMZ revealed that he was serving up Jack Daniel’s ribs for a living.

While hearing Gosselin talk about his “passion” for working the grill at a chain that’s most famous for making its waiters wear a bunch of stupid buttons and crap is amusing, Jon’s best interviews are the ones in which he gets candid about his ex-wife, the apocalyptic beast foretold in Revelation Kate Gosselin.

When we checked in on him last month, Jon still hated Kate. 

Turns out very little has changed:

“I don’t think there is a point in being married. I mean, I might be spiritually, but there really isn’t a point. Our kids are grown now. I don’t know, I have mixed emotions about marriage. I do.

“Anyone who does it when they’re young, god bless them. I see bachelorette parties when I’m DJ’ing and I’ll say, ‘Congratulations! It’s so wonderful. Let me play Bruno Mars for you."”

Yes, it turns out Jon’s contempt for his baby mama is such that it’s soured him on both the idea of marriage and the music of Bruno Mars. Shame.

Asked point-blank how his “relationship” with Kate is going these days, Jon got hilariously blunt:

“Things are still s—ty. Nothing new. I’ve almost been divorced as long as I was married. I’m not trying to stop the shows she’s doing now.

“Have I done anything to stop what she’s doing? No … Maybe I should just keep my emotions out of the press, but it’s kinda hard not to when people are throwing you under a bus. Don’t take my dignity away, because you know nothing about it.”

Sounds like he’s not doing a great job with that “keeping his emotions out of the press” part.

And for that, we thank him.