Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Florida Man Arrested, Uses Most NSFW Alias EVER

Jeffrey Forrest Poole is a character. He lives in Largo, Florida, just west of Tampa, and he has quite the sense of humor when it comes to the law.




Florida



According to Huffington Post, Poole was arrested on Sunday after police were called to him home on reports of domestic disturbance.


Police then cuffed (and later charged) the 37-year-old for violently resisting arrest.  He yelled that he “will beat every cop’s ass” as he was taken out of the house.


The arresting police officer recorded later that Poole “raised his right fist and began to extend it towards my face in an attempt to strike me.”


Brobible.com reports that when authorities were filling out paperwork for the arrest, they asked Poole if he had any “alias” or a record under file.


Indeed he does!  


Poole confirmed the use of “Dickface Johnson,” which showed up front-and-center on his past records.



Poole is still in jail after failing to post bail for $ 5,150.


The world is a cruel place right now, so I will take any and all opportunity to laugh at stories like this.  


Using a name like ‘Dickface Johnson” as part of your criminal profile is classic.  It says “I can laugh at myself” but it also serves as a middle finger to authorities, which I think Poole was able to get across to police officers.


There is no word on who called the police on DFJ or why, but it’s safe to assume that he was raising all sorts of hell that make him a true “Dickface Johnson.” 


DFJ will likely not be able to “beat every cop’s ass” for the forseeable future, since he hasn’t yet made bail.  


Ah, Florida.  As Jack Donaghy and Tracy Morgan once said, you are the true “penis of America.”


And Dickface Johnson is your mayor.