Man Arrested For Hiding Seven Grams of Cocaine in His ... UGH

There’s really no good place to hide drugs on your person, as this entails possessing drugs on your person and having reason to hide them.

Still … this guy:

Meet Joshua Hare.

When you’re naked in a parking lot, and you’re about to be arrested by the cops with 7.2 grams of cocaine, you find ways to improvise.

Limited, but creative ways.

Police officers in Swindon, UK, uncovered the aforementioned narcotics hidden in the 24-year-old’s foreskin, according to media reports.

Yes. His foreskin.

This all went down June 17 when police were called to a furniture store after a man was shouting and disturbing customers in the parking lot.

When officers arrived, the naked Hare ran around and put up a bit of a struggle before being restrained, taken into custody and hospitalized.

He actually did a good job concealing his drugs, for a time. But while in custody, a baggie containing white powder began to “emerge.”

If you know what we mean.

Hare’s attorney, Nick Redhead, told the court that his client has a troubled past, substance abuse problems and mental health issues.

Redhead says he suffered kidney issues when in custody earlier this year after being arrested for aggravated taking of a vehicle without consent.

“He fell into a coma and thought he was going to die,” Redhead said. “The damage to him as such is he is a high risk of killing himself.”

No one wants that. At all.

Hare clearly needs help, however, and he pleaded guilty to both the drug charge and failing to surrender to bail, according to reports.

It’s always difficult when it comes to punishments fitting the crime for someone who may be suffering from addiction and mental problems.

Redhead hoped that officials would be lenient when sentencing his client for the offense, and received mixed results in that department.

As punishment, the court activated the 12-week suspended sentence he had been given in May for the previous vehicular theft charge.

Hare was also fined $ 151.

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The Hills Recap: That Was Then, This Is ... Still The Same

I’ll say this: Oh How I’ve Missed The Good Old Days.

I write this recap with the intention of reminiscing on a time long since gone. A time when Les Deux was an actual thing before the owners decided it was cooler to change venues every six months.

A time when Alice in Wonderland head bands weren’t just cool, they were a god damn wardrobe staple.

It was 2006, and the reality TV was pretty much anything you wanted it to be.

I was in New York during Lauren Conrad’s heyday on The Hills, working a job that didn’t pay me nearly enough to match the lifestyle I had so coveted.

I will say this – LC, Audrina and Heidi Montag’s Chanel 2.5 bags are to those gals what Cartier LOVE bracelets are to the modern women.  

More is more. Stack them, they say!

I admit, I wasn’t looking forward to tonight’s Hills Recap: That Was Then, This Is Now.

And yet, there I was hoping that Lauren Conrad would somehow allow the producers to unleash unwatched footage.

View Slideshow: 10 Best Moments from The Hills

Conrad knew how to manipulate producers.

She knew when to tell the cameras to stop following her, to stop filming and to delete whatever incriminating footage could be used again her and/of those she loved.

One example was the scene in which she and Jason Wahler broke up.  What The Hills fans saw was a sad break-up and the dropping off of golf clubs.

What fans didn’t see (and what Conrad most definitely blocked from airing at the time) was Wahler’s substance abuse.

Not long after, Wahler took part in Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab.  Since then, he’s been sober and has married.

Conrad at least deserves a pat on the back for keeping footage of Wahler’s erratic behavior from airing.

She recognized an addict, and she was going to make damn sure his demons weren’t going to air.  

That was his decision to make, Conrad decided.

Let us not forget Kim Kardashian’s vain attempts to become a “thing” on The Hills.  I can see her pre-production conversations with former step-brother Brody Jenner now:

“Babe, the VMAs air super soon.  Can Heidi mention that?”

Magically, Conrad told one of her producers that she “chose to ignore” Kardashian’s bid at instafame.

If you’re a fangirl Iike I was back in the day, you’re either going to bed satisfied or hugely disappointed.

I walked into this special knowing full well that Conrad wouldn’t give the cameras a break, but there were some cases in which I was proven wrong.

To sum up my view of The Hills, I thought that LC was a bit of a wet blanket in that she could have cut her friends a break with their beloved men.

At the same time, good on her for sticking to her gun and refusing to bend to the will of a man.

After the special wrapped, I concluded that I didn’t take away much from both The Hills and Laguna Beach other than both franchises were incredibly pivotal in terms of shaping reality TV.

Back in the day, you could air whatever footage the talent allowed. Now, it’s a free-for-all.

The moral of the story is this:

Don’t let a camera record your life, and don’t sign a damn thing without the counsel of a lawyer.

AGT Contestant Gets Shot in Neck by Flaming Arrow

Everyone makes mistakes.

It"s just that not everyone"s mistakes take place on live television… in front of millions of viewers… and they don"t all involve the misguided shooting of a flaming arrow.

Allow us to explain…

On Tuesday"s not installment of America"s Got Talent, Ryan Stock once again aimed to shock and impress the judges.

This contestant has been known thus far death-defying stunts that included the use of drills and chainsaws, so it wasn"t stunning to see him go with a flaming arrow this time around.

As tension built to the climax of the audition, Stock"s assistance, AmberLynn Walker, grabbed a crossbow and climbed up high.

Stock bent over, with his hands on his knees and a target in his mouth.

AmberLynn then shot the arrow…

… and hit Stock in the neck.

Incredibly, Stock remained standing, clearly surprised and a bit hurt, although he insisted he was alright.

Still, an America"s Got Talent medical technician ran on stage to check on Ryan, sprinting back off when it appeared as if he actually was okay.

After remaining understandably quiet and concerned for a few moments, the judges awkwardly ran through their critiques until Simon Cowell piped in as the voice of reason and asked:

“Why are we even judging this?"

Stock was then hurried off stage.

He later took to Twitter and assured fans that he really is doing fine.

"We had a serious mishap tonight outage live on @nbcagt," he wrote. "A very unfortunate mechanical failure but I am very fortunate to walk away from it."

Naturally, the stunt quickly went viral, with viewers turning the mishap into the most buzzed-about thing to happen on AGT in ages.

“Finally #AGT figures out what #amurica wants to watch, a chick shooting her fiancé in the chest with a crossbow,” wrote @shortmenti, while another user added:

"Watching #AGT live shows and this chick literally just shot her fiancé in the collar with a flaming crossbow on accident. This show is crazy."

Stock is safe and sound, so feel free to watch the following video and even to laugh at it if the mood strikes you.

It really is pretty nuts!

Hollywood Hillbillies Star Comes Out as Transgender

Michael Kittrell has made a bold declaration.

And an even bolder decision about his life.

The Hollywood Hillbillies cast member, known to viewers of that Reelz Channel program as “Angry Ginger,” has announced on YouTube that he now wants to be known by another name:

Claire.

Indeed, Michael Kittrell says he is transgender and is in the process of becoming a woman.

In the following video, Kittrell says she has been undergoing hormone therapy for many months now.

"I"m not going to live another year of my life pretending to be someone else. I"m just not going to do it," she said in the emotional post.

"I know a lot of you are going to make fun of me. I know a lot of you are going to think that I"m joking. This is the hardest video I"ve ever made, because I"m not."

She"s aware that some critics may think this is a publicity stunt, but she has a very pointed response to those who take that viewpoint.

Claire tells TMZ it would be extremely "dark" for anyone to make a joke out of something so painful and something so personal to so many folks out there.

This is a real issue and it deserves to be treated with respect.

Kittrell does mention her very own grandmother isn"t fully buying this transition yet, but that it"s starting to sink in more and more every day to her.

Hollywood Hillbillies tells the story of Kittrell and his aforementioned grandmother, as they move from rural Georgia to Hollywood in order to take advantage of their 150 million-plus YouTube views.

In making this major announcement, Kittrell Tweeted a photo of herself as Claire. Here it is:

Claire adds below that she"s been in touch with Caitlyn Jenner, telling her many followers:

"I"m not going to pretend to be someone else anymore. Not in front of the camera and not behind one.

"It may seem cliché, but Caitlyn Jenner helped me out a lot. I know that she gets a lot of flack because she is a lady of means. She has a lot of money and not every trans person can look like her because she"s able to afford surgery."

Claire admits that she can"t afford surgery just yet, but that she"s at least happy for now that she"ll be living as her true self.

Watch the full explanation and video below and then join us in wishing Kittrell the very best of luck.