Ben Affleck is leaving no doubt — he and ‘SNL’ producer Lindsay Shookus are in a relationship — but someone needs to throw in the towel, because as you see from Ben’s shirt, L.A.’s super humid. The couple stepped out for pizza Monday…
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Jessica Simpson: Check Out My 37-Year-Old Butt!
Jessica Simpson is 37.
For our readers of a certain age, the fact that the bubbly blonde whose tuna-confusion helped make her an early MTV reality standout is now pushing 40 will be enough to provoke a mild existential crisis.
After all, though she’s been in the spotlight forever, Jess certainly doesn’t look 37 – as evidenced by her latest bikini pic:
“Kiss My Butt 36,” Simpson captioned her celebratory birthday shot, demonstrating that her brassy bravado and love of Random Capitalization remain intact.
If you follow her on Instagram, you know that Simpson posts bikini photos all the time, but this one has attracted an unusual amount of attention.
For one thing, Jessica looks damn good for any age.
On top of that, it seems fans of all ages, shapes, sizes, and genders seem to have been inspired by Jess’ apparent ability to laugh in the face of Father Time.
“She’s 37 now, guys. I just turned 37 one day prior, myself. And I concur; 36 can kiss my butt!” wrote one follower.
“I want her butt! I’m gonna do squats as we walk this weekend,” commented another.
“36?? Looking 24!” wrote a third, who … we guess missed the whole 37th birthday part.
What may be most inspiring thing about Jess is the fact that she’s not Gisele Bundchen – out there burning extra calories by foraging for her dinner of twigs and berries.
(We kid. Gisele wouldn’t be caught dead eating fruit! Sugar!)
Instead Jessica likes to drink, eat, and chill, and she’s never been shy about it.
It’s encouraging to know that one can maintain such a jaw-dropping figure without a superhuman, round-the-clock commitment to fitness.
Of course, this is the Internet in 2017, which means that where there’s positivity, haters are soon to follow.
Sadly, comments such as this gem have begun to pop up on Jess’ awe-inspiring post:
“Idiot. Your kids suffer for your dumbness and needing attention NEGATIVE ATTENTION. BE A FREAKIN MOM!”
Yes, because a millionaire who gets to make her own work schedule obviously shouldn’t have the time to go for a swim or post a selfie on her birthday.
Jess may have taken a lot of flak for her chicken-tuna comment back in the day, but as social media reminds us on a regular basis, there are much dumber folks in our midst.
Abby Lee Miller Laughs it Up About Going to Prison
Abby Lee Miller’s putting a good spin on going to prison … free rent!!! The former “Dance Moms” star was yukking it up with the paps Monday night leaving Craig’s … and we gotta say, she looked pretty damn chill for someone who is 1 day away…
Rob Kardashian"s Family PLEADED With Him to Stop Blasting Blac Chyna
Like most people, we know that the Kardashians were pissed at Rob Kardashian for his social media meltdown and for posting revenge porn of Blac Chyna.
Well according to this report, Rob’s family has been pleading like a bunch of White House advisers for him to stay offline. But we all know how well that worked out.
Here are the details.
According to Us Weekly‘s source, the Kardashians tried to convince Rob to stop posting.
“They did not agree with what Rob posted and had pleaded with him to stop.”
But, as we all know, like a maniacal toddler … or a President, Rob kept going anyway.
For obvious reasons, they were and are concerned.
“They know this is a very combative relationship and everyone in the family is solely focused on Dream; Chyna and Rob are adults.”
It sounds like the Kardashians who aren’t Rob have the right priorities.
The source does acknowledge that Rob and Chyna have had drama before, though it was less vicious and less potentially criminal.
“This is not new when it comes to Rob and Chyna, but the concern, for Rob’s sisters and mom, is all about Dream.”
Dream should be everyone’s primary concern.
She’s eight month’s old.
No matter what adult drama is going on, the moment that you become a parent, your child needs to come first.
It’s no surprise to hear that the Kardashians are pissed with Rob.
The day of Rob’s social media meltdown, the image that popped into our mind was of Kris Jenner hearing the news and absentmindedly shattering whatever glass was in her hand at the moment.
Any parent would be outraged to learn that their child is saying and doing such terrible things.
(Posting revenge porn is an action, after all)
But for a PR-conscious family like the Kardashians where everything revolves around their brand, this is an even greater nightmare.
We don’t just mean for Kris Jenner, though she has to be weighing brand concerns against wondering if her contact with her granddaughter will somehow become limited because of this mess.
And then there are Rob’s sisters, who are doubtless horrified and disgusted by Rob’s behavior.
Even more than that time that Rob Kardashian banged one of Kim’s lookalikes.
Ugh.
The idea of an ex posting revenge porn of them has to be a very real fear for, at the very least, Kendall and Kylie.
It doesn’t matter how much skin you show on Snapchat or at the beach — that’s you controlling how much the world sees of you.
Having someone you once trusted expose you to the world like that is something else entirely.
To have their own brother do what Rob did last week must cause a particularly sick feeling.
And all of that is to say nothing about the accusations that Rob Kardashian abused Blac Chyna.
If true, that kind of charge is the sort of thing that makes someone go from a trashy person to an irredeemably evil person.
Remember when Rob was just the guy who stayed out of sight and sold socks?
This whole story is, of course, ongoing.
It seems like every time that there’s something to add, something new isn’t far behind.
Remember how Blac Chyna was seeking a protective order against Rob Kardashian?
Well, she got it.
Understandably.
We’re also glad that her attorney’s statement reminded the world that Blac Chyna had ended her relationship with Rob a while back.
And that, you know, some of what Rob’s rant seemed to call “cheating” was just … Chyna having sex. Like a person.
Rob doesn’t own her, you know?
Rob’s attorney is none other than Robert Shapiro.
Most younger Americans recognize him as the guy from the Legal Zoom commercials.
But he’s a famous lawyer and was friends with Rob’s dad, so maybe he feels that he owes this to Rob’s dad or to Kris somehow.
We’d say that having to apologize on Rob’s behalf for a Twitter tantrum and Instagram rageposting was the least dignified moment of Robert Shapiro’s career.
But … Shapiro was one of O.J. Simpson’s attorneys.
It’s hard to imagine a lower point in his career than that.
But it’s good that the Kardashian family is looking out for Dream.
We’re not questioning whether Rob and Chyna love Dream, mind you.
But it looks like they have other things on their plates.
Admittedly, with Rob as the clear social media aggressor, it looks like Chyna doesn’t have a choice but to wage this legal battle.
So she gets a pass … we guess.
(No, we don’t think that she’s a mastermind with a Xanatos Complex who sent Rob photos just to trigger this chain of events … probably)
Dream is going to be growing up faster than anyone can believe over the next few months.
She’s already 8 months old — she’s going to be talking before we know it.
We hope that this whole mess gets resolved — with justice for everyone — soon, and in a way that’s not too disruptive to the little cutie’s life or sense of well-being.
And it’s weirdly refreshing to know that the Kardashian family — with the exception fo Rob — has the right priorities.
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