Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Amber Rose: Masturbation Did THIS to My Face!

Amber Rose has some pretty unconventional — albeit fun! — beauty advice for y’all.


It has nothing to do with cucumbers (the sliced, spa-type ones, anyway), exfoliation, or whatever other protein-based things that are — ahem — rumored to be good for the skin. 


In an interview with Glamour, Amber Rose confessed that the secret to her glowing complexion is … wait for it … 



Masturbation. 


Yeah, you read that correctly — Amber Rose simply masturbates to achieve that freshly-bangedwashed look of hers.  


She revealed, “I wish I had the time to masturbate every day in reality, but I don’t.” 


“I say a lot of those things on [The Amber Rose Show] because I am very sex-positive,” she continued. “I do say those things in a way where I am very serious, but it’s also a joke.” 


So is she kidding? Probably not — and she’s probably not being very honest when it comes to not masturbating every day. 



Come on.


With that gorgeous skin, she must do it several times a day, and that’s how she’s skirting — no pun intended, OK pun totally intended — the “not doing it every day” thing. 


(Hint: because she does it multiple times a day. That’s the theory we’re gonna work with today.) 


Other celebrities who’ve admitted to copping a feel — of themselves — include “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham, who admitted to masturbating to her own sex tape, which is horrifying.


Then, there’s ABC Family’s breakout star Shailene Woodley, whose LOL name explains why she wants to teach masturbation in schools, which would be a trip, and last, but not least, Kanye West, who tries not to wake Kris Jenner with his nocturnal efforts.  



Hey, whatever works, right?


From explicit photos, to her “Slut-Walk, to admitting that making sex tapes are “healthy,” Rose definitely puts it all out there for the world to see.


Good for you, Amber, for being so “sex-positive,” or whatever you’re calling it these days. The more you know and all that. 


And hey — if sex tapes are so “healthy,” and masturbation is so great for your skin, maybe Amber Rose should put her money where her … uh, mouth is, and do it all up, as we know only Amber could. 



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