Monday, October 31, 2016

Jennifer Lopez: Hillary Clinton WILL Be Our Next President!

Step aside, Nate Silver.



Jennifer Lopez is the new political prognosticator in town, and she’s making some bold declarations just over a week away from Election Day.


Here’s J-Lo in concert last night:



Yes, it seems the pop icon cares not for the contents of Anthony Weiner’s Gmail account. 


Lopez is firmly #WithHer, and she’s confident that we’re headed for a Hillary Clinton presidency.


It’s not exactly shocking, as as a woman of latin descent, J-Lo is basically the exact opposite of the white dudes who pulled a Frankenstein experiment on a baked ham and called the newly-reanimated monster Donald Trump.


And it’s not uncommon for people to declare that the candidate of their choice is “our next president” while they’re campaigning.



Still, it feels like there’s more than the usual election season optimism behind Jen’s declaration (and her rendition of Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”).


Despite a scandal-plagued weekend, Clinton is still leading Donald Trump in all polls that took place outside of the Donald’s head.


It seems the news that emails that mention Clinton were found in some dick pic aficionado’s inbox wasn’t enough to persuade millions of Americans to jump into the cockpit with a Cheeto-dusted kamikaze pilot.


Who would’ve thunk it?



Hillary joined Lopez on stage, which is not a huge surprise, as the event offered an easy way for her to address her base in a way that reminds people she’s more than just a pant-suited politico.


What is surprising is the fact that Lopez’s ex-husband Marc Anthony also joined her on stage.


We guess Hillary’s not the only one who’s willing to forgive a lot from the men in her life.


Hillary echoed her frequently-expressed sentiment that Trump is running a campaign of fear and manipulation.



The crowd seemed into it, which is not terribly shocking, as while she was born in the Bronx, Lopez has been vocal on the topic of providing a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants, and her fans are no doubt aware that she’s probably not a fan of Donnie’s wall.


In fact, everything except her tax bracket makes Lopez a perfect representative of Hillary’s base.



We guess you could call her Jenny from the bloc.


We’ll show ourselves out.


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