It’s possible that at several points during this election, you felt compelled to grab your sledgehammer, chainsaw of pickax (we’re assuming your tool shed looks like that of a serial killer’s) and destroy something valuable.
Unfortunately, flatscreens are super expensive and your neighbor is totally anal about his windshield.
Fortunately, you can now live vicariously through the actions of this hardhatted Rage Dude who was recently videotaped going full-Office Space on Donald Trump Hollywood Walk of Fame star:
Like Batman, little is known about the sidewalk assailant’s identity.
According to multiple media outlets, the man has been identified as “Jamie Otis,” but feel free to just think of him as “Hero Mc All of Us.”
Otis says he intended to actually steal the square and auction it off to raise money for the eleven women who have accused Trump of sexual assault.
Probably would’ve been tough to sell the thing on Craigslist without getting arrested, but that turned out to be a non-issue, as Otis was unable to steal the square, so he decided to just improvise and due to the sidewalk what Trump’s been doing to his campaign lately.
The star was dedicated to Trump in 2007 to honor his work on The Apprentice.
At the time, Trump was nearly a decade away from his most memorable work – the Andy Kaufman-esque prank on the American people that he cleverly disguised as a presidential campaign.
We’re still waiting on the punchline for that one, but given Trump’s commitment to the bit, we’re confident it’ll be gold.
Anyway, this isn’t the first time that Trump’s star has been vandalized over the course of this 16-month war on the principles of American democracy.
Back in July, someone built a tiny wall around it in reference to the candidate’s plan to redecorate America in a sort of a post-WWII Berlin motif.
Astonishingly, Trump has yet to tweet about this latest act of destruction.
We’re sure he’s doing some informal research to determine if folks are saying this is the worst thing that’s ever happened on American soil.
He really just needs one folk to say it, so long as they’re standing near a mirror.
Then he’ll probably assure his supporters that, like the conspiracy to make him look like a Cheeto-fingered sexual predator, he will absolutely get to the bottom of this.
He always gets to the bottom of things, folks!
…He just wants to wait until after the election.
Probably not a bad idea, actually.
Something tells us the Donnie will have a lot of time on his hands come November 9.