Monday, January 23, 2017

Chris Brown to Aziz Ansari: Get Off My D-ck, Aladdin!

Chris Brown is as predictable as he is violent and ill-tempered.


Over the weekend, Aziz Ansari hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time, delivering a monologue that played out like a stand-up comedy routine.


The most memorable line from a lauded segment featured Ansari trying to understand the large segment of the population that voted for Donald Trump in the recent Presidential election, dismissing claims that every one of these people is a racist.


Come on now, the former Parks and Recreation star argued, there aren’t 63 million racists in America.



“I’m sure there’s a lot of people that voted for Trump the same way a lot of people listen to the music of Chris Brown,” Ansari said, only half-joking and explaining in more detail:


“It’s like, ‘Hey, man! I’m just here for the tunes. … I don’t know about that other stuff. I just like the dancing and the music. I don’t condone the extracurriculars.”


Those extracurriculars to which Ansari is referring, of course, are centered around the time Brown bludgeoned the face of Rihanna into a bloody mess.


The singer has proven himself to be two things over the years:


  1. Very talented.

  2. Full of anger and fury.

There are some fans out there who focus on the former and ignore the latter when they listen to his music.


Similarly, there are voters out there who are able to look past Trump’s racist, misogynistic and hateful comments because they believe he’ll help them find a job.


“If you think about it, Donald Trump is basically the Chris Brown of politics,” Ansari concluded. “And ‘Make America Great Again’ is his ‘These hoes ain’t loyal."”


That’s just a terrific line.



But Brown doesn’t agree.


Showing a hilarious lack of self-control and self-awareness, the artist responded to Ansari saying he has a tendency to be hate-filled and out of line…


… by being hate-filled and out of line.


“I can’t f–king catch a break,” Brown ranted in a since-deleted video adding:


“This n—a said, ‘Donald Trump is the Chris Brown of politics.’ I swear I’m gettin’ the f-ck outta here. Don’t f-ckin’ trust what you see. Even salt look like sugar.”


Brown didn’t stop there, however. That wasn’t enough for him.


He had to go ahead and lay the racism on nice and thick.


Sharing The Shade Room’s Instagram video of Ansari’s comments, Brown jumped back online and wrote as a caption to the footage:


“F–K NO!!!!!! Somebody tell ALADDIN HOP OFF MY DICK!”


Yes, Aladdia. Get it?!? Because Ansari’s family is from Tamil Nadu, India.


We’d say this insensitive slam marks a foray into a whole new world of being terrible for Chris Brown, but we all know it’s where he resides on a daily basis.



Brown aside, Ansari has been widely praised for his SNL monologue.


It managed to be funny and serious, over-the-top and insightful, hopeful and critical.


He delivered it a day after Trump was sworn into office and on the same day as millions of women marched against the new President all across the globe.


It addressed those who are against Trump, those who voted for Trump for non-racist reasons and those who voted for Trump and who now think they can totally go out and be publicly racist.


He referred to this latter group as the “kkk,” and it actually made a lot of (sad) sense!


Watch the full monologue for yourself below:



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