Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Kylie Jenner: I Did NOT Tell My Fans to Buy Dildos!

In news that’s sure to depress anyone who’s reading this at work, we learned today that Kylie Jenner earned $ 18 million in 2016.


She’s one of the stars of a successful reality show, but at this point, Keeping Up With the Kardashians is less of a cash cow and more of a weekly infomercial designed to sell the sisters as arbiters of taste.


Fans of the show follow the sisters on social media, where they hawk licensed or sponsored content, and that’s where the real money comes in.



No one has taken advantage of this system better than Kylie.


She sold everything from lip kits to water bottles last year, and her massive following and considerable influence have made her one of the most in-demand names for companies looking to market to teens and early-twentysomethings.


Of course, teens are notoriously fickle, and there are hundreds of other young pseudo-celebs vying for Kylie’s spot on a daily basis.


So you can see why she was less than pleased to learn that her subscription-based app seemed to be suggesting that her followers stock up on anal beads in order to keep the men in their lives happy:




Kylie Jenner App


The above text appeared on Kylie’s app yesterday, apparently without her approval.


It would be right at home in some version of Cosmo targeted at housewives who have time-traveled from the ’50s to escape persecution resulting from their love of furry handcuffs, but it’s a little weird on an app whose subscribers probably consist primarily of high school girls.


Not only does the recommendation that young women make pleasing their boyfriends a full time job not exactly jibe with the zeitgeist of 2017, suggesting that teenage girls purchase sex toys sounds more like the work of Jared from Subway than Kylie Jenner.



Instead of getting rid of the app altogether (She didn’t make $ 18 mill by backing away from money-making opportunities!) Kylie decided to make it perfectly clear that any and all high-end dildo endorsements are not coming from her by refusing to generate any more original content for the app that bears her freakin’ name:


“Hey guys from now on I won’t be posting personally on my app anymore,” the reality star, 19, tweeted yesterday.


“A post went up today quoting something that I NEVER EVER said or saw.



“A very personal post that I would never ever approve. And it’s unfair to me and you to think that those were my words. I’m sorry and I know we will figure something out so we can all be satisfied.”


She added:


“From now on, I’ll be leaving the fancy vibrator talk to Gwyneth Paltrow.”


Okay, we made that last part up, but it’s not too late for Kylie to start the year on an awesome note by tweeting it.



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