On Sunday morning, police in Pensacola, Florida were called to check on a man in a car wash parking lot.
They were alerted to the situation and asked to do something about it because 52-year-old Charles William Raulerson was just standing around… naked.
When deputies arrived on the scene, they reported they saw Raulerson, listed as ex-military, without pants on and blaring music from his vehicle.
Officers naturally asked Raulerson to put his clothes on, to which he replied that he could not do so.
Why?
Because his pants, “they took off running by themselves without me,” he explained.
While confusing and likely untrue, this statement in and of itself was not illegal.
However, when the cops simply asked Raulerson to remain his car (due to the whole nudity thing), he allegedly threatened one of them with a screwdriver.
And then when he tried to get out of his vehicle, despite repeated warnings to stay-put, an officer shocked him with a Taser stun gun, according to police.
Raulerson was charged with aggravated assault on an officer, a second-degree felony. He is being held at the Escambia County Jail in lieu of a $ 10,000 bond.
It’s unclear at this time whether or not Raulerson’s were ever found or if they were charged with any kind of crime.
What is clear, however, is that this Florida man has to work a lot harder in the future if he wants to earn a place among all-time Florida Men.
Raulerson only sat in his car, pantsless, for example.
Compare that to a previous Florida man who drove around naked with wires attached to his penis.
Or the Florida Man who learned he was married to his granddaughter… and then remained married to her, even after learning this critical piece of information.
There was also the Florida Man who blamed masturbation for his vandalism arrest.
He’s hard to beat, that Florida Man.
He’s a Man. He’s a Myth. He’s a Legend. He isn’t really a beer, but he should be, right?
We’d chug a few ounces, if only to see whether or not our pants remained in place afterward.