In footage from the Kim Kardashian sex tape, the world’s most famous reality star spreads her legs open wide for Ray J.
Similarly, in a sit-down with Andy Cohen on Bravo this past Sunday night, Kim Kardashian opened her mouth and discussed a different past relationship, one nearly as notorious as the dalliance that producer her amateur porn.
We speak, of course, about Kim’s marriage to Kris Humphries.
The ex-Playboy model was married to the mediocre power forward for a total of 72 days before she announced the union was over.
Humphries challenged various aspects of the marriage in court, actually claiming he was duped by Kim into exchanging vows for what she always knew was a sham relationship.
As a result, the divorce was not finalized for over a year.
But it was pretty much over from the beginning, Kim told Cohen on the latest installment of Watch What Happens Live.
“I knew on the honeymoon it wasn’t going to work out,” Kardashian admitted this week for the first time.
How could she possibly have known that?
Or, better to ask, why did she get married in the first place if she knew so quickly that it wasn’t going to last?
“At the time I just thought, ‘Holy shit, I’m 30-years-old – I better get this together. I better get married,’” she confessed, attempting to explain:
“I think a lot of girls do go through that, where they freak out thinking they’re getting old and all their friends are having kids. So, it was more of that situation.”
We guess that makes some sense.
But the theory that Kim simply wanted to benefit financially from the wedding (she made a rumored $ 10 million from selling the video and photographic rights to various outlets and tabloids) before getting the heck out of it ASAP also makes some sense.
Asked which Keeping Up with the Kardashians spinoff she likes least, Kim mentioned Humphries and replied as follows:
“When Kourtney and I did New York because I was in that awful cry face with that last marriage I had. That whole situation was just really hard for me.”
Kim, of course, has moved on. Far, far, far, far on.
She just celebrated her three-year anniversary with Kanye West and has two kids to show for it.
Make fun of her all you want, but Kardashian seems legitimately happy and in love.
Which is more than she can say about her mother and step-father.
When asked by Cohen about how things are these days between Kris Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner, Kardashian was refreshingly honest.
She initially said there was a “zero percent” chance the estranged ex-spouses would ever speak agaib.
But then she modified her response.
“I would say two percent,” she said. And those are Kendall and Kylie. That’s their percentage. All fair, I think.”
In other words: Kris and Caitlyn may chat again at some point in the future because they are both parents to two relatively young women.
We’ll see, of course. Two percent is a pretty low percentage.
But it’s two percentage points higher than Kim and Humphries ever speaking again.