Last night on Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 13 Episode 11, the family’s most dramatic and lowest-rated season ever continued.
Yes, Kardashian Fatigue is real, at least on cable TV, where the E! show is bleeding viewers in spite of a mess of seemingly epic storylines.
That said, this installment really wasn’t that epic.
We began with Kris Jenner reading a letter from unnamed “royal family” asking if she’d donate her eggs, citing Kris’ “successful offspring.”
Successful is subjective to a point, but we’ll allow it.
If you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online, that harkens back to years ago when the show would make up plot lines weekly.
It’s ironic, then, that with so many REAL issues going on that they would resort to such contrived nonsense, but we’re not the producers.
Anyway, Kourtney Kardashian immediately said:
“She’s 61. I don’t think she has any eggs.”
Damn, so cold. Biological clock zing!
Meanwhile, Khloe Kardashian returned to her native L.A. from Cleveland, where NBA boyfriend Tristan Thompson is getting sick of her.
Kim suggested a trip to Palm Springs. Khloe replied, “I just don’t know if I could handle my soul being on another family trip that I’m ignored on.”
Ooh, passive-aggressive zing. Obviously, she decided to go on the trip, where she learned that Kim “doesn’t want to sleep alone” lately.
Considering that she’s still recovering from the 2016 Paris robbery which shook her to the core, and which occurred when she was alone?
Hard to blame Kimberly for that whatsoever.
The sisters rented a vintage car to go vintage shopping, which seemed like a great idea until it broke down on a very crowded highway.
Kim feared that this would attract paparazzi, which would be a disaster as that was exactly what she was trying to avoid at this juncture.
“They’re all gonna come to Palm Springs … and our private time would be ruined,” she said, but they were able to get the car running.
This trip had sentimental value for the sisters, as they visited the home once owned by their paternal grandparents, Nonna and Papa.
“Hi, I am Kim. Kardashian,” she told the owner.
Khloe then reflected on her old room there, “I started my period in this room … [Kris Jenner] made me use a tampon. Not even like a pad.”
Memories. Just brings a tear to your eye.
Speaking of tears, and not of the joyful or nostalgic variety, relations between Rob Kardashian Jr. and Blac Chyna were less than ideal.
Rob revealed, “I’ve been pretty, like, upset. I want Chyna and I to be together … Right now we’re just each pushing each other away.”
“I’m not gonna give up so easily on someone.”
Naturally, Kris hooked up her only son with a life coach, and Jamel Davenport asked Rob how many kids he wanted to have one day.
“My mom had five. Six? Five. Six?” Rob said.
On top of the fact that he doesn’t know how many siblings he has, Jamel called Rob “thirsty” when it comes to his feelings for Chyna.
Harsh from a quote-unquote life coach who presumably met him about 25 seconds ago, but not inaccurate if we’re being honest here.
As for the ridiculous “royal family” egg storyline, Kris swore to friend Faye Resnick, “I had these people checked out and they’re for real.”
Kris then pointed out that “Janet Jackson just had a baby… She’s mid-50s.” (She’s 51, got pregnant at 49 and had the baby at 50.)
The Jenner matriarch says she did look into this possibility with her family doctor, only to learn that she will never “make an egg again.”
“If we were able to get your eggs, the quality would be not good,” Dr. Huang told her, which may explain the lack of 61-year-old moms.
However, “Doctor Huang said that I would be able to carry a baby … I could carry a baby to full term,” she said, leaving to this bombshell:
“Do you wanna carry mine?” Kim asked, and her mother agreed, provided that the child of Kim and ‘Ye would be “born OK.”
“I already offered,” Kourtney said.
