Yesterday, we heard the strange, sad news that Amber Portwood is in talks to make a sex tape with her gross boyfriend, Matt Baier.
We’re still not coping well, and you probably aren’t either — feelings of confusion, repulsion, and bouts of hysterical laughter mixed with tears is totally normal right now.
But the news just keeps pouring in, so we just have to take it as it comes.
Much like Amber might, if the sex tape actually happens.
In the original report, we heard that Amber and Matt had a meeting earlier this month with Vivid Entertainment to discuss the possibility of making some good old-fashioned reality star porn.
Then Amber discussed the news, confirming that “It’s in consideration,” but that she had still not decided one way or another if she was going to go through with it.
She said, bless her heart, that “I am not strapped for cash. I have a nice house, a nice life. I have everything I need. But I’m a business person.”
Amber would reportedly make $ 85,000 from the tape, as well as 35% of the profits. She claims she’d use the money to open a bunch of rehab centers worldwide.
Honestly, the whole thing just sounds like bad news. It just does not seem like a good move for Amber, not even a little bit.
And you know what? Farrah Abraham agrees.
Farrah obviously had to make her own statement about the news — she was the very first Teen Mom porn star, after all.
And since her fellow Teen Mom stars, including Amber at times, have ridiculed her for her sex tape, it’s just too good for her to leave that hypocrisy alone.
In a statement to The Ashley’s Reality Roundup, Farrah said that “I would caution them but they’re felons and criminals so [I] see why they hope to follow in footsteps of mine.”
“The envy of them wanting to be me never fails, as I see it [as] copying and following in my footsteps.”
Once you get past Farrah’s complete inability to communicate, you see that she’s saying she’d actually advise them against the tape, and that’s nice, right?
And she has a point: for people who claim to hate her so much, they really are following in her footsteps.
“Amber has enough mental issues and body issues, I doubt doing a sex tape [at the age of] 26 is in the right direction, Farrah continued. “Her [plastic] surgery didn’t work.”
The plastic surgery comment is pretty low, but again, she has a point in that Amber isn’t in the greatest place mentally right now.
Nor is she in the greatest place in her relationship. She doesn’t want to marry Matt right now, but she’s fine with making a porn with him?
Farrah concludes her real talk by saying “Good luck to Vivid and Matt and Amber as I see all their fake drama and fake scenes.”
In another statement, this one given to The Dirty, Farrah got even cattier, saying “It’s sad how hard Amber tries to be me.”
“Matt the conman who doesn’t even like her and is trying to pimp her out to get money for himself. This is all sad. Amber is a washed up felon.”
Ouch.
But even though Farrah is telling some cold, hard truths right now, we have a feeling they’ll fall on deaf ears. If Amber is already justifying making the tape so hard, chances are she’ll go through with it.
Heaven help us all.