Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have been on again and off again for eight entire years, and whenever they’re on again, everyone wonders when they’ll set the date or if they’ve already been secretly married.
It seems that the only way to shut down those stories is to actually get married … and reports say that they’re planning to do just that.
According to sources, Miley and Liam are planning to elope, and on the Fourth of July, no less.
We’re not really sure why they’d pick that date — Liam is Australian, no American.
Holidays are a nightmare for travelers, but maybe that won’t impact the rich and famous.
And since they’re said to be planning a small, intimate gathering of close family and friends, maybe that won’t be a problem for their guests, either.
Even without that date’s usual traffic woes, you’d think that they’d pick some time that isn’t already a holiday.
Unless … is that their plan? To hold their secret wedding ceremony and just hope that everybody’s too busy eating a dozen couple of hotdogs and guzzling alcohol to notice.
Holy crap … that might actually work.
Allegedly, their wedding is going to take place in Vegas — Miley always wanted to follow in Britney’s footsteps, huh? — and they’ll honeymoon in Byron Bay.
So they’ll have a foot in each of their home countries.
One might even say that they’ll have the … best of both worlds.
Settling down as a couple will be a huge transition for these two.
Miley’s taken a lot of criticism in recent years, and not all of it is undeserved.
First, she dove headfirst into black culture and appropriated it left and right.
Miley kept talking about twerking until it seemed like she’d invented it or at least made it mainstream.
She refused to keep her freaking tongue in her mouth on stage and it was uncomfortable for everyone.
Then there was the ridiculous spectacle of Miley’s marijuana use, which was obnoxious.
If you want to do that, just do it, don’t post about it constantly or you look boring.
Through everything, she didn’t seem to understand how privileged she was.
She could put her hair in cornrows without getting fired for looking “unprofessional.”
She could get high without becoming part of the mass incarceration problem.
She could act up without people using it to condemn her entire race.
And now that living that way no longer suits here, she’s dropped that entire side of her.
Remember when Miley blasted sexual lyrics in rap even though she’d been basically doing the same for months and months?
Many on social media accused her of having used and discarded black culture.
But people hope that Liam will be a good influence on her.
And perhaps, as Miley continues to mature, she’ll understand why she drew so much criticism.
Miley and Liam’s relationship is a beautiful thing.
A long-ass beautiful thing, considering that they started dating in 2009.
They were both already fairly famous, though Miley’s star was perhaps the brightest that it’s ever been at the time.
She was already a household name but she was just leaving her days of Disney stardom behind.
2009 was the year that “Party in the USA” was the definitive song of the summer — impressive, since that was also the year that Lady Gaga rocketed to the top of the charts.
Liam was still new on the scene, somewhat. His brother, Chris Hemsworth, hadn’t even starred in Thor yet.
The two of them met while starring in The Last Song, which is great because otherwise, nobody would remember that movie.
We don’t know exactly what drew them to each other, but … they were both super hot.
Sometimes that’s enough to get things started.
If the engaged couple is really planning to elope secretly, we shouldn’t expect them to confirm it.
That would kind of defeat the purpose.
If we were in there shoes, we might even leak a false story so that people wouldn’t look too closely at our actual secret wedding plans.
But something about this report sounds realer than some of the others.
If nothing else, a July 4th wedding would make for the best excuse ever to blast “Party in the USA.”
