Ronnie Ortiz-Magro’s love life is just too much.
Way, way too much.
And if you watched Jersey Shore in its glorious original run, you know that — his relationship with Sammi Giancola was constantly messy and scary and sad.
Just on the show, we saw him cheat on her multiple times, and once he destroyed her entire room after a fight by throwing her belongings around and flipping her bed over.
Of course, Sam wasn’t completely innocent in all the drama.
She always had something against JWoww because of her friendship with Ronnie, and on one particularly bizarre occasion, she asked him if he was friends with her, and when he wouldn’t answer, she punched him in the face.
But that was just one relationship, you know?
Maybe Ronnie and Sam were just particularly terrible for each other, or maybe because they were so young and also on a reality show, things just got super crazy.
Except for the past few months, we’ve been hearing some pretty disturbing stories about Ron and the mother of his child, Jen Harley.
And now we’re pretty sure Ron is just a terrible boyfriend who seeks out terrible girlfriends.
A few months ago, these two wild and crazy kids got into a fight on social media, apparently because Ronnie found some videos of Jen having sex with some other guy on her phone.
He made a post on Instagram about how you “can’t turn a natural born HOE, into a housewife,” and Jen hit back with “can’t turn a coke head into a father.”
After that, he apologized, but then he shared some texts from someone who claimed to have had sex with Jen on a taco float while she ignored Ron’s calls, so it seems like he didn’t mean it.
Let’s see, he threatened physical violence while she was filming an Instagram Live video, then they got into a fight over their dog.
But at the end of June, things got even more serious when they got into another brawl — a really, really nasty one.
Jen was driving them home from a friend’s house, when — surprise! — they got into an argument.
Ronnie claimed that she punched him several times, and when he tried to get out of the car, she hit the gas and dragged him down the road.
His story checks out, because when police responded to the scene, they noted that he had “apparent injuries to his mouth and arms and road rash,” and that there was blood all over the car.
Jen claimed that Ron had hit her, too, and the officer who wrote the police report believed her, but she was considered to be the aggresor, so she’s the one that got arrested.
Their daughter was in the car during all of this, by the way.
They were supposed to be done for good after that, but a little over a week later, they were seen celebrating the Fourth of July together.
And now, believe it or not, they are together again.
For real.
Ronnie and Jen, along with their daughter, are on vacation Puerto Rico right now, and Jen’s been sharing some cute (???) family photos.
And if the fact that they’re on a beautiful vacation together isn’t enough proof that things are all romantic between them again, then know that a source has confirmed to E! News that they are, in fact, on again.
“They’ve been quiet about it but it’s been about a month now,” the insider claimed.
“They want peace and they want things to work out for the baby’s sake.”
Still, the souce added that the next season of Jersey Shore: Famiy Vacation is going to be “crazy.”
And that’s because “There was so much up and down with them, so much drama, and the cameras caught a lot of it.”
Did MTV cameras manage to capture the dead dog fight?
Were there cameras installed on the dashboard of the car to catch Ron being dragged down the road?
If either of those things are true, we can imagine the new season will definitely be crazy, and not necessarily in a good way.
As for this apparent reunion of Ronnie and Jen … ugh.
It’s not like they’re going to magically be able to have any kind of healthy relationship, and it will actually be a miracle if they manage to make it home without one of them getting arrested.
But … have fun?