Monday, August 6, 2018

Meghan Markle Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction at Friend"s Wedding

Wardrobe malfunction.


It’s a phrase that was first popularized by Justin Timberlake to describe the public misfortune that befell Janet Jackson at Super Bowl …


In the years since, the term has entered popular usage, as celebrities and peasants alike have fallen victim to nip slips, open flies, and other sartorial calamities.



Yes, even royals aren’t immune to unintentional nudity. 


It’s a lesson that at the wedding of Prince Harry’s longtime friends Charlie van Straubenzee and Daisy Jenks.


Yes, apparently those are real people and not characters from a lost F. Scott Fitzgeerald novel.


Anyway, the nuptials took place on August 4, which happened to be Meghan’s 37th birthday.


And it seems the Duchess decided to combine the two celebrations by attending the ceremony in her birthday suit.



Okay, so that might be a bit of an exaggeration.


According to a report in OK! magazine — an outlet that tends to be about as trustworthy as Alex Jones on these matters — Meghan “accidentally flashed her bra” as she arrived at the wedding.


Onlookers who witnessed the “wardrobe malfunction” claim that Meg “left the top button of her dress undone, the see-through lace could be seen underneath.”


Scandalous stuff, obviously.


Don’t be surprised if the Brits try to pin this one on America resulting in a second Revolutionary War that should be a bit shorter than the first one, as our $ 600 billion now has the capacity to carpet bomb the British Isles into oblivion several hundred times over.



We kid of course, but it turns out this wedding was one of the major social events of the summer across the pond.


Yes, as it turns out, Van Straubenzee is more than just the proud owner of a Bond villain last name.


In fact, he’s so close with the Royals that he’s godfather to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s daughter, Princess Charlotte.


Speaking of Kate, if there’s anyone who knows Meg’s pain, it’s her.


As you may recall, there was a time when Kate Middleton topless pics were screamed about in all-caps headlines in every tabloid in America.



Obviously, meg didn’t show nearly as much skin, so this thing should blow over pretty quickly.


Of course, there’s still the matter of Meghan breaching royal protocol yet again.


Will she be criticized by the Queen for flashing a quarter inch of Victoria’s Secret lace?


Only time will tell.


Stay tuned for next week’s installment of The World’s Most Boring-Ass Rich People.



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